Tag Archive: wife


„I red about it recently, it`s called financial mobbing!“ – she said and I just couldn`t help agreeing. Not in the name of the feminine solidarity but because of the simple human sympathy.

As we all know it, things are far from fine. OK, we`re still in the middle of the crisis, no matter what they say. People are afraid of losing their jobs, everyone are up to their noses in debts and loans, the costs and expenses are rising and when you pay all the sxxt you`re suppose to you may say you can barely buy the food. And what my favorite aunt says, the man is a hunter, he is inborn with a social role of the family provider. And when he is not capable to do it as he should on the required level – he suffers. Sure, but how, in which way he will express it – that is a completely other topic.

Hear, hear!

He watches closely, on daily basis, how, where and on what she spends every cent. They are not going anywhere, not even visiting their friends, because he always says no. But the fights about the money are taking place every day in every occasion for almost every single thing. In the same time, he insists to check every bill and receipt she ever paid, he daily checks her and his account, just in case she may spend on something they don`t really need.

Where are they now? Huh, everyday arguments, fights, groans, sighs, snorts, grumble, shouting, and the worst of all they came to long loathing silences. Hard, right? She says that she tries to explain that life is full of ups and downs, that she remembers when her parents had it, that is will pass, that`s just life but he won`t listen.

So what she does? Well, at this point, for her little needs, she is trying to avoid using the credit card, that in every opportunity she gets, hides a buck or two every day, and even if she buys something to herself, like a face cream, she hides it somewhere in the house, sometimes even in their child`s toys. For the new shoes she bought she said it was a gift from her mother. I mean the woman is tricking and jilting that much that she feels like a crock or at least a secret agent in her own house! So for that reason, she is thinking about leaving him.

What about their intimacy? None. Zip. Zero. And I mean not a trace, like looking for a decent meal in a vegan restaurant. Sex? She doesn`t remembers when something even close happened last time. And how will she? Seriously, who sleeps with it`s enemy? They keep each other on the shooting line from the time they wake up until they are asleep. She doesn`t feels like it. He doesn`t understands.

Really? Can`t figure it out why? OK, let me explain, from a woman`s perspective. This kind of fascist patronizing behavior is sending only one message – that she is an idiot, a small irresponsible child for which someone else has to bring the decisions because she is simply not capable for it. And then after such a humiliating treatment you expect the reimbursement of anything and even physical love? Really? How interesting. Wake up ego-khan, trust me, it ain`t gonna happen! Respect is a two-way street, same as the appreciation. She is not a moron, or your child, or your property. Capisce?

You can often hear how people are simply disgust by just a mention that somebody have actually paid for sex with a prostitute. They got married but didn`t properly understood that you have to earn your wife`s love. You never ever take her for granted.

So, if you are asking are you paying for sex the answer is affirmative – yes you are. Always. The thing is that it is not always with money. There are actually only few things that woman needs to be felt loved and to return that love with huge interests. Just three words with the most powerful meaning and remember them well – respect, attention, trust.

And now go, run as your feet carry you to show it!

Because we deserve it, 176.

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Happy end

Discontetment has been long. Actually, almost from the beginning. As soon as that initial passion has disappeared , it`s place was taken by the frustration and the feeling of a huge mistake. But there were the children, and the decency, for which those real, sincere and thrutful words were never spoken.

So it lasted for years. Until one lovely Christmass and a carefully prepared dinner. The guests came around 8 that evening, at 8:30 the dinner was served and suddenly at 9 the phone rung. The wife have picked up and… Well, well, well, on the other side she heard her husband`s mistress. Ha!

The wife have given the phone to the husband and waited patiently until the conversation was finished. Then he asked: „What now?“ and the wife calmly responded „Nothing. Now we are going back to our guests and finish the dinner like civilized people. After it, be so kind to pack up your things and leave. And I mean tonight, please. I don`t know and I am not interested where you are going to go. Shall we?“…..

So, the guests left at midnight. He have, still not bealiving, packed his things, stepped out of the house, entered into the car and sitting there for at least half on hour. For crying out loud, I mean really – where should go the one which is leaving his home and family on the Christmass eve?!? In the middle of the night?!? Really!

And her? Well…First she sat down in the kitchen and made herself a cup of coffee. The sipped it slowly, carefully placing all the fresh received puzzles in her head. And then, she have suddenly jumped on her feet and opened a bottle of wine. Hey, it`s finished! It is really over! No more! No more of him, of anguish, misery and the frustration. She should thank the Allmighty that his lover actually called tonight. OK, maybe it is a little peskily, it is Christmass, but still…. Freedom, choice, relief…Finally!

The woman has been partying till the dawn.

 

And there I am, listening the story and hardly bealiving. But I have no choice because the same thing has been told by the Finally-deliberated-wife and her daughter. „And, have you ever regretted?“ – I ask politely. „Not a chance!“ – she says, „from that  day 23 years have passed. 23 years of pure bless and happiness!“. I`m sitting silently, thinking about it and then the „kid“, which now is in her mid 30s, starts to lough – „From that day, mom is a completly new woman. And we are all feeling better.“. To hell with it, I just can stop and I must ask: „Did she really celebrated?“. The „Kid“ bursts into loughter again- „Celebrated? She was singing until 6 a.m.!“.

What about him’“ – I bodger, „what happened to him?“. The Finally-deliberated sighs and says: „Aaaaah…poor guy. I`m afraid he is not at the top for years now. Soon after that…hap, the things between him and his…girlfriend have finished, to be more precise – she left him. His carieer has gone down the drain, every now and then he finds some short-term work and this is it. Oh, he comes by, every now and then, asking for a buck or few, and leaves.“

 

There. Just to be able to say that being bored on somebody`s wedding and stuck with the people I don`t know isn`t always a  drag. You may hear incredible stories. Thinking about it, that awful divorce may bring a true Renaissance. It starts like a Greek tragedy but it finishes as a pastourelle.

 

Because sometimes you do get what you deserve, 23.

Marrrrrrrriage. Sounds scary sometimes.

But if something is even more scarier, that is the divorce. And it`s consequences. But now, not to wake the awful dark demons, we will fast forward a little bit. Into the period when the divorce is already far far gone. At least it should be.

Regarding it, there`s a one tiny winy detail that I`m bothered with: why some women keep their old husband`s last name?

For example, you had a bad divorce. And I mean really ugly. This is not an exception, people are really rarely separated as friends, truely wishing him/her all best. It sounds almost…utopian. Most women just freeze and obscure when someone even mentions their Ex, and they usually „tagg“ him/her the prefixes like: jerk, idiot, moron, bitch, retard, weasel, loser, bastard….you get the picture. They can`t stand him.

But…they are still walking around with his last name. The name of the same person which they despise and hate.

Therefore I ask – why in the name of God?

If you already hate every particle of his being, you are disgusted of his every trace, why are you still stack with his name? What „drives“ this masochistic need to keep it, not to throw away that stinky garb with which you are cloaked, which you attire every morning then snort with your nose on his smell?

If we think about that „nomen est omen“, what is this telling about you? Your name is a very important thing, we are connecting with it, many studies are made proving the impact of letters and words on our life. People are spending years on therapies for that same strong words which have marked their lives. But THIS name – you are not touching. Why is that? After all that…massacre of divorce, why don`t you change it with some that is only yours and which doesn`t connect you with that odious person and all the suffering you had with it?

Why? For some provincial belief that the divorcee is a damaged good? Socially labeled as defected? C`mon! Get real!

I remembered another situation, the one when He had married again, and the „New wife“ have taken that same last name. I know a very succsessful, educated and very beautiful woman, which is „sticked“ on that New One, bitching about her all the time. Why? Because she thinks that she is The Mrs K. Herself, not the second one. And that she is the only entitled to „use“ this name. Because she was the first. The time is flying by, the Ex and the New one, already have their own baby, but the First one doesn`t gives up. A-a. She is Mrs K. Tones of stupid situations are filling up, the situations in which she has to explain that she is no longer Mr.K`s wife, that she has nothing to do with the certain matter or event, after all – she is a lady, a completly other person and…. But she still stays connected with that man on which she exhausting all her bitterness and venom. Whyyyyyyyyyy????

For the Shakespearean conviction that the rose would smell different? Bullsh*t!!! Even there, the good man Will have clearly showed us that the name IS important. Why, I ask, why don`t you take your maiden name, or some completly new, and after all that suffering grant yourself with a new spring time? The one where everything is waking up, where the world has pure clear colours, interesting sweet scents…The one where new day brings the joy of new beginning, illuminated with the sun`s promise. Without ugly shadows and heavy clouds.

Everyone has the right to make mistakes. Face it, we`re not perfect. But also, we have the right on new debuts, without dragging other people`s bulk on our backs. You know, the right on that easy, uncertain beginnings, without ugly prefixes and suffixes.

Except maybe for the pure adrenalin of the true spring „fix“.

Because you deserve it, vol. 4.