Tag Archive: social


The drinking problem

I`m Aqua and I have a drinking problem. (now you go „bravooooo! clap clap…“). No, it`s not that I am spilling the drinks every time I take a glass but I am having a serious problem with the alcohol. The odd one, but still.

The thing is that I can`t drink anymore. I do try, every now and then, but the result is always the same, after one drink, sometimes even before I finish it – I get a proper hangover. For example: one glass of wine means that after 15 minutes I will get a bad headache and max 2 hours later I will be passionately hugging the toilet bowl like a good old friend which I haven`t seen for ages. And I will stay in this position for hours. Then, for the next 24 hours, I will feel like I had 14 shots of vodka, 4 glasses of homemade schnaps and 2 bottles of Merlot from a very bad year. And maybe 3 beers more, just to be on the safe side.

Why? I have no idea.
I was a normal social drinker, nothing too much or regular. It just happened some time ago. And no, it`s not alcohol intolerance, because when you have that, you get properly drunk after a smallest glass of alcohol, which I don`t. I am completly sober with an absolute hangover.

So, after carefully preparing the performance to my doctor (the approach: „Doc, help me to become an alcoholic!“ wasn`t an option) from all points of view, she gave me an advice. Quoting: „Well….don`t drink for couple of years than try again“. Well done Yoda! That is brilliant! I would never think of it by myself!….#?%#!©!!!!!!!!!!

The thing is that I would really like to share a bottle of wine with my Loved one again. And that I would really like to spend some time out, without getting a decent headache from loud music. Yes, it has to be loud, I am a typical product of a rebel teenager, meaning that I still like alternative music, from metal to punk. Good jazz is more then welcome but I really enjoy quality noise.
And not taking a drink or two means that I will suffer. Don`t know if you have noticed, but alcohol, among other things, is blunting your sensitivity for loudness so that if you visit a punk concert you won`t feel so good. Once I went sober on a punk wedding once and trust me – that wasn`t a good move. I got a terrible headache and nausea which would pass every time I left the room. Yes, I tried it that night dozens of times, just to confirm the experiment. And it`s true. Take it from Dr.Aqua.

So, for it I have become a social outcast. A strange, weird and odd person, which won`t go out and mingle like normal people do. And to be sincere, I had it. I love to go out, I love to mingle, dance (or at least do what I call dancing), sing out loud and generally enjoy. I don`t think that`s fair. Not for me, anyway. I just can`t see myself as someone`s old aunt sitting at home with a cup of tea.

So, if any of you had or have similar problem, let me know and help the woman to become a convivial and diverting part of the society again.

P.S. friendly advice, if some doctor ever asks you „Do you drink alcohol?“ always, but always, answer with a big NO. This naive fool have answered once „Oh, here and then, you know…“ which left me with a permanent remark of a semi-alcoholic in my official chart, making me embarrassed every time when some doctor sees it and asks „Oh, I see it now….So, how many drinks do you have per a day?“ Incredible.

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When we are small, making new friends comes as easy as breathing. We see the other kid playing and without any thinking we run towards it. And this is it – we have a new friend.

As the years pass by, they teach us what is decent, acceptable, desirable and what isn`t. With all that informations, and corrections, in our head we continue dashing through life.

Now let`s take a very common example: you are a woman in the best years of your life. You are not a small brat anymore and hell, you are miles away from becoming a biddy!  With great passion, you will claim to anyone that you just love people, going out and general mingling. But, you are lonely, very lonely. Most of your friends are married with children or in some other serious relationships with plenty of „time-eaters“. That`s why you`re nagging and whining how you don`t have anyone to go out with and your daily social coffee cups have become very, very rare.

So you are sighing.

It is sooooo hard.

To be alone like this. And you can`t stop yoursef „moaning“ to so called friends how they are neglecting you. For their important everyday „obligations“. Every now and then you shed a tear.

Poor little me. Sniff.

Nobody loves me. Sniff, sniff.

I am so…so..nice and I am all alone. Sniff, sniff, sniff.

IS THERE ANY LOVING IN THIS ROOM????? Booooohooohoooaaaaaa!!! Tears are dropping, saturating those cold, hostile walls of solitude.

Bollocks.

We have few very strong enemies and they are self-pity and laziness. That`s right. And don`t even try to use the „…but I`m not like that! I just…“. Yeah right…Cut the crap. Every now and then, all of us have been playing that role. And then we blamed everyone else. `Cause we are soooo great and the others can`t see it. Aha. Think again.

OK, people are connecting, bounding and linking. And after some time, they do things which are taking them in some other direction from yours. For that reason, they often leave from your mutual world, some physically and some emotionally. Which leaves you… Playing the martyr. Alone…miserable…left by everyone…with nobody around…

Well move your lazy butt! Look again. There are literally tons of good, high quality people with who you can mingle and become friends. But they need some effort too, you should offer a part of you. For crying out loud, even if you are the shyest creature in the galaxy, now in our time, we have like a zillion social networks – bless the internet, where you can meet so many people to blow your mind.

But company and familiarzing alludes interaction, giving-taking, listening, effort, thinking…a that present a Greek drama, does it? It is too hard probably.

Nothing has changed. You can still approach the other child, offer it a ball or a doll asking: „Wanna play with me?“. Because everyone has it`s favorite toy, material one, intelectual or emotional, which he/she can share with another person.

The main advantage is that you don`t have to yell like crazy under someone`s window asking: „Mrs.Jones, can Linda come out and play?“.

So take your best, your worst, all that makes you special as you are, and share it. Your future friends are tapping in expectation.

Human banking

One of the things I try to avoid are visits to the bank. Bless the internet. Don`t like them `cause there`s nothing human in it and let`s face it – waiting is not my stronger side.

Anyway, been to one the other day. A smaller one, in the suburbs, to be exact. And I had a proper surrealistic experience.

It was a nice, sunny morning, a usual morning like any other. I entered into a empty bank. Completly empty. Except me, the clerk and the guard, there was nobody there. So I have approached the desk with my morning smile (the one after the 1st but before the 2nd latte) and said „Good morning!“.

The clerk, a lady around 45 with large glasses and interesting hair, looked at me disapproving and said „Where`s your number?“.

So I said: „Excuse me? „ and the guard said „You have to take the number!“.

I looked at him to check if he`s serious – I mean, I am the only living person here! But his face and the look on it was very determined saying that I HAVE to follow the procedure.

OK. I got back to the door, choosed the type of service, took the paper with the number on it, walked back to the clerk dropping the number on the desk. No reaction.

I am looking at her and she is looking at me, with some blank smile on her face. Not moving.

Not speaking. Nothing!

I looked at the guard again (give me some clue man!!!) and he whispered „You have to wait for your number to come out!“.

You gotta be kiddin me…

After few minutes of playing looking-smiling-blankly starring the clerk pressed a button and it showed number 162 on the display. 162!!! It`s mine! I won, I won!!! Yeeeeepeeeeee! What a shocker! They love me, they really love me! I`d like to thank my family, the director, the producers, those lovely people from the…

And then the guard asked „Is this your number?“ …Of course it`s my bloody number!!! There is nobody here except ME!!! What the…….?!?

Then the clerk said „Can I check the number please? Thank you. OK. Good morning, how can I help you?“.

We finished in the same official robotic tone, same smile, same expression. Robo-clerk…

OK, I know that the procedure is very useful when the bank is crowded with people but who`s brilliant idea was to train them to react ALWAYS in the same way, no matter if there is 100 people or just 1 person? And what`s with all that standing, smiling and starring for 10 minutes?

Next time when I get the call from your bank, offering some of your special services, insurance packages, investment opportunities or something similar,  I WILL play a little with YOU:

Press 1 for my personal opinion of your bank

Press 2 for curses regarding your procedure

Press 3 for choosing curses on another language

After half on hour of listening some extremly boring music,  please grade my service. And don`t call again. Ever.