Tag Archive: sexuality


Boobs on the loose!

It`s cold. So cold that your nipples look like you`re just headed to some porn editorial. Which reminds me on a story from last summer…

I have boobies.

They are not huge but I do have them. Two, to be more precise. They are round and each has a small brown nipple. I take care of them the best I can: I wear a bra worried about future gravitational issues, put moisturizing cream on, massagge them from time to time….And I love them. To me, they are very beautiful.

Every now and then, me and my boobs are going to the beach. We usually pick one which is at least few miles away from the „regular“ beaches, somewhere where we can enjoy in silence and solitude without too much noise and hussle. And there we feel fine. We are absorbing sunshine in our pores, swimming, churning…. Just fantastic!

So one day, me and my boobs, went to our usual source of marine blessings. We came, took  the clothes of, and accomodated. Aaaaaah, gorgeous! And we did enjoy, for an hour or so. Then, all of the sudden, I heard some noise. Oh, some people are coming! Two young families, to be precised. Lovely. So much for the peace, quiet and relaxation, but then again we have all support the birthrate boost. I decided to endure the screaming and crying and running and splashing. And everything was alright until one of the young mothers, I emphasise YOUNG not some old nun, haven`t noticed my boobs. Her young husband have also noticed them but his look was expressing curiosity and amusement while hers was full of hate and personal animosity sending the messagge „Really, from all the places in the world, you had to strip HERE you bitch!?!?“. (I must add that I live in Europe, where topless is usually a very common thing, God bless)

The young mother then started to throw children`s toys, swear and curse, something about „boobs on the loose“. And I do bealive, according to her behavior, that she was the only who heard the message transmitted for my boobs, who were probably chanting something like „la la la, we`re out and there`s nothing you can do!“.

I was confused: why such hate, maybe the young mother doesn`t have one? But no, I saw them, they are far more bigger then mine! Trapped in cloth, but they are both beautiful, healthy and romp. Hm… You see, I have other parts of the body: head, neck, legs, arms…But they don`t seem to provoke anyone. Then I remembered – she must think that boobs are made strictly for one thing and that is lactation. And for that reason, you must keep them in pitch black, where nobody can see them. Every now and then, you may set them free for your legally bonded partner but otherwise, they don`t exist.

Fuck it! Where are we?!? Are we living in Iran, Turkey maybe?!? This is western culture, as far as I remember! What would your mother say about showing your tits in public? That it is a great sin? So must be the sex too, sex is yacky, you do it every now and then just to prevent your husband not to fly in somebody else`s arms. And boobs. These are dark secrets, and dark is the only place where they should be kept.

Well, this is my body which I love and respect very much. The same body that is given to me by my parents and maybe some higher power. And no, I feel no shame for it. And I never will. Next time do yourself a favour and go somewhere where people are sunbathing in raincoats. Just to be on the safe side. Made for all the uber-moral nuns.

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Dear Dr.Ruth,

watched a movie the other day. About a female loving. I am quite a liberal type who honestly thinks that anything goes until both persons are fine and agree with it. The words „dirty“ and „kinky“ are written on the bonny and inspirational part of my dictionary.

Anyhow, watching 2 female entities falling in love and loving in general. They are lying in bed. She 1 under and She 2 above her. A classical missionary position. And they feel fine. They are both moaning. The She 2, which is above, seems to be pretty busy. She is nailing. The penetrator. At least that is how it looked like.

Considering that I am a woman, I don`t see anything disgusting or odd in it. I really don`t bother myself with questioning about my womanhood, or with the fear of it, like the Enemy. THEY are spending their whole lives in constant insecurity, wondering if they are men enough, for which they become very intimidated by the love of the same sex. And we…We are fine. No dilemmas. We are 100% women and that we will be forever.

The way I picture a female sex, it is a very sensual thing. There are really lots of things to touch, grab, stroke, pet, lick…

But what after it? It all looks like a truely fantastic foreplay. Very hot, very exciting, very horny. And when you are aroused like that, the only thing you have on your mind is to get it. To take it in you. The quicker the better. NOOOOOOOOOW. I do bealive that out there, some women bealive that foreplay is actually the best thing in sex, but I get incredibly horny and in that moment I want it. This is why I am here. Give it. Now.

And for that reason, watching the movie, I`ve pictured myself in that role. I am apt to trying other`s shoes and jumping out the closet, trying to know how is it for somebody else. So I am sitting there and trying to imagine how it feels. Then I stopped. And now what?

In the respective situation mentioned above, on the edge of the mind and orgasm, the only thing that I would want is the Organ. Which is….missing in action. Not there. I`m raising the sheets, peeking under bed, tumbling pillows and blankets hoping to find it and finally get it! But there is none. What the fuck?!? Literally!

The only thing that comes in mind is that She 2 will come up, or even better come in, with a dildo. That soothes me for a while, but then again, I want the real thing. Which is not there.

And there I find myself disappointed. For not getting it. No cookie for me. A-a. Technically, yes, someone was eating, but that was not what I ordered! Check, please!

There I decided that this was not for me.

Yes, I was touched by the tenderness, profundity and understanding in their love, but what is a relationship without good sex?

So there, dear Dr.Ruth, I must admit…there will never be a good lesbian out of me. Or in me, in a matter of (s)peaking.

TV… such a powerful media. Everyone is watching it. Long, long time ago, on the television you could see only the ones who really had „something“ – good actors, giornalists, singers… Now, with all this reality shows and talk shows, everyone may get a chance to be on it. And some of them are really using it. Big time.

Some people would do anything just to have their own 5 minutes of fame. Even if they reveal to the world that they are peeping through te keyhole while their mother-in-law  takes a shower. Or that every now and then, they stick a corncob into their ass.

So that someone may say to them: „I`ve seen you last night on TV!!!“

They don`t mind the fact that they will completly lose their dignity and that they will probably spend their whole life labeled as freaks, sickos, perverts, or however they have presented  themselves to the world.

But nevermind, because the star is born.

To be honest, the „star“ had some… unpleasent feedbacks, because his wife left him after the show, his mother run off crying from the studio, his friends won`t answer his calls and his CEO manager called his boss demanding to fire the idiot first thing tomorrow morning.

While the „star“ is still blinking blankly with the stupid smile on his face. He fucked up his lfe but that information still haven`t arrived to his small brain. The only thing that echoes in his head is „…you`re a star, you`re star, you`re star…look ma`, I`m on the top of the world!“

I really wonder if those idiots heard the moron alarm while they were applying into the show, or at least when they were entering into the studio, to same alarm which would alert them that they are just about to the most stupid thing in their life? Or maybe, the narcissistic dose that they own, is so strong that it practically blinds all that is inteligent and emphatic in them, in the same time forgetting what shame and damage will it bring to themselves and their closed ones?

And let`s not kid ourselves – it doesn`t have anything to do with the money. The money is just an excuse.

And the measuring unit. Of the true fact – how much they appreciate their most valuable: dignity, selfrespect, family and friends.

They are there because they want to be somebody.

Even if that somebody is the biggest idiot in the country.