Tag Archive: sex


So, let`s say that you like the guy so much that you would do almost anything to become the most shining star on his wide sky.

And that`s ok. As long as you are somehow sure that you have picked the right, the most compatible, person for your cosmos. And how you may find out? Hm, maybe that`s the tougher part but here`s one real life situation which might help.

 

OK, yes he was interesting. Tall, dark, a photography passionnel, always ready for action and adventure, he loved to travel, well educated…

So, one particular friend of mine called the Man to dinner at her place. The problem was she wasn`t a great cook. She was fun, smart, joyful but her favorite saying „I can make more than 100 various sandwiches“ wasn`t exactly the punchline which would attract a man.

So, me and her father (yes, the father because that man is a proper cooking wizard) spent the whole afternoon, and half of the evening, in the kitchen preparing the delizie della vita that were suppose to knock the Man down and leave him in her apartment for indefinite time.

He arrived, we all sat down to the table and started to eat. I was really enjoying the food, my friend relish it and her father was just proud how excellent the cuisine was. Here I have to highlight one thing – we ate and he was guttling. No table manners. In fact, it was clear that the fine cousine zest wasn`t his thing.

But you can`t give up on a man just because of that, can`t you!

The thing is that you can after you hear certain things.

 

Anyhow, how the dinner was coming to it`s end, all of the sudden the Man started to talk about a girl he met few years ago which he really really liked. Yes, it was rude, it was brassy, insensitive and improper, but just out of curiosity, I`ve asked him what did he like about her. Bealive it or not, this was his answer:

Well, she wasn`t exactly pretty, in fact she was far from it. Her taste is clothes was… cheap and tacky. She wasn`t funny, that`s for sure. And she wasn`t smart either. I didn`t like her laughter too, but man how she was washing the dishes!“

Excuse me?!?!?!

What???

The dishes“ – he continued with a dreamy look in his eyes, „she was washing the dishes so perfectly and carefully like I never seen it before. What a woman!“ – he finished with a sigh still looking enchanted.

And that was it.

I mean, what in the world can you expect from a man which doesn`t care if you are smart, funny, how you look, if you`re sexy or not, how you dress, how you cook or finally how you laugh?!? Oh, it ended that same evening.

Last we heard about him is that he married a woman almost 20 years older than him and that the two of them are mostly living on different addresses. I bet he is coming to see her only if he feels the sudden urge to wash something for him.

What a man!

 

So, please try to make sure if the One you really really want is really for you. You know, the One which will feel your inner light, not just the shine of your freshly washed cutlery.

 

Because you deserve it, 44.

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Are you single? Feeling ok with it? Good.

 

And what if one day you decide to share your beautiful world with someone and you find out that the competition is changed?

I am a big fan of singleism. Used to be one and really enjoyed it. And for that reason, I always defend someone`s choice to be single. Let`s face it – it is not always easy. You will be judged by your family (why can`t you find somebody nice and settle down?), by your married friends (the time is flying, you know, you can`t go on like this forever), your work colleagues (you think you`re something special?) and the public in general.

It takes cojones to be solo, to live by your own rules, to comfort and cheer yourself when rainy days come, to solve everyday dramas and always give 100% because you have to, because there is no other half who will do it for you. Not to mention that everything is more expensive, for you, single as you are.

But that kind of freedom, if you want it, worths every penny.

 

Now, let`s say that one day you decide that you are ready for sharing yourself with someone? (have a friend which uses this term, qouting „I want to share myself with someone“). Let`s say that now you are in your late 30s. You look younger than you are, having this bless because you haven`t given any birth, had all the time in the world for yourself and everything that comes with it.

What do you expect, who will be your competition on the market? Have you already prepared yourself to curse the 20 year old bimbos?

Well think again because the ones who you should be aiming are the socially praised married ones.

My best friend is actually „looking“ after 20 and something beautiful years of singleism….and surprise, suprise, her competition are actually married girls and women who go out a lot and somehow forget to mention that they are married. They flirt, sometimes push for something more juicier, sometime are in a relationship with single guys telling them how it is hard for them, that their best half doesn`t has any understanding for their needs, how much he is working, they are always alone, and blah, blah, blah…The dame in distress bulls…. You know the drill.

 

How do I fit in the story? Because one of my best friend`s „rivals“ turned out to be someone I know. Someone with who recently I had several discussions regarding this kind of life. My point of view is very simple – don`t do anything what you don`t want to be done to you. Cheating someone who is devoted to you, just because you are bored, is idiotic and cowardly. It takes COURAGE to enjoy the benefits of being single. Living under someone`s wing, lying, just that you may have a safe port after the exciting storm is … It makes you a pure zero.

If you want to have this kind of life, be honest and fair, and take the „single“ step. Yes, it is a big step, a complicated one, often hard, but it is the only right step you can do. That is if you have any respect for yourself and for other people.

 

To use the immortal wisdom of the Beastie Boys, you gotta fight for your right to party. Otherwise, you don`t deserve it and the others do not deserve all the c..p you`re pulling off either.. In fact, you are taking someone`s place on that thrill ride, so get up and move on.

There are people waiting in line here, so c`mon!:-p

 

Because we don`t deserve it, 39. (me for listening to this s… almost every day, those poor partners who still doesn`t suspect anything, the other sides which don`t expect to be deceived and used, and finally the single ones for taking their indentity, place and rights)

 

The hommage also goes to another friend which have boldly and fairly taken the single step, after 20 years of marriage. That`s to way to do it!

 

 

 

 

 

I`m worried.

Seriously. For me and for my enviroment.

 

After waking up at 3 am this morning, for the persistent cough which brought out the best me, (meaning: didn`t want to wake up my best half with my sudden urge to express myself coughally, I went altruistically to the living room), making myself a cup of coffee (ok, 2 of them), getting incredibly bored (clicked and red everything I could think of) I started to think. I truly did.

And I came up with a conclusion that I don`t talk about sex with anyone! And what is worse, none of my friends are talking about sex either! No sex! Anywhere!

 

What the hell?!?

The sex is gone!

How can it be missing? We are all doing it, more or less, but we never ever talk about it. Like it have become a taboo. Like we have joined some orthodox puritanical sect called „Victorian is the way to go“ where „the thing“ is totally erased as a completely non grata issue. And again, what the hell?!?

When I think of it, last time I heard about it, few months ago, one of my single friends was mentioning something about how she done it with …hm…someone who was not in the picture for too long. And that`s it. As far as I know, nobody is doing it.

Yes, we chat, but I know everything, every damn detail about someone`s health (bowel movements, sinuses, ovaries…you name it), their family issues, absolutely everything about their jobs and daily routine, when they woke up, how they woke up, how was the coffee…but sex? None!

Then I started to think, maybe I am just too old, maybe people after certain 30s just don`t talk about it, but I concluded that it just can`t be it. The present situation is that nobody is bragging and no one is complaining neither. Which is not good. A-a. No good at all.

 

And I can`t just start a conversation with a „Sooooo…getting any…..ha?“ Or invite someone over for a cup of coffee (and cookies, don`t forget the cookies), put a cd and start singing „You lost that looooovin` feeling… woooooooooaaaah“. No, that`s not a solution.

The truth is that these conversations where actually making me happy. Why? Because sex is important, sex is joyful, you can always learn something, it can make you lough, it can make you more intimate with someone (you know what I mean, talking about it, not the… ) and for crying out loud, it is a normal thing for grown-ups! We`re not 7 any more!

 

So, this is it. I don`t want to consider sex a dead issue any more. I`m starting a sexual conversational revival. Today.

(wish me luck, somehow I feel I`m gonna need it, with this recession, depression and other essions around….)

 

Because I deserve it, 34.

Photo by Americangoulash.