Tag Archive: seduce


So, let`s say that you like the guy so much that you would do almost anything to become the most shining star on his wide sky.

And that`s ok. As long as you are somehow sure that you have picked the right, the most compatible, person for your cosmos. And how you may find out? Hm, maybe that`s the tougher part but here`s one real life situation which might help.

 

OK, yes he was interesting. Tall, dark, a photography passionnel, always ready for action and adventure, he loved to travel, well educated…

So, one particular friend of mine called the Man to dinner at her place. The problem was she wasn`t a great cook. She was fun, smart, joyful but her favorite saying „I can make more than 100 various sandwiches“ wasn`t exactly the punchline which would attract a man.

So, me and her father (yes, the father because that man is a proper cooking wizard) spent the whole afternoon, and half of the evening, in the kitchen preparing the delizie della vita that were suppose to knock the Man down and leave him in her apartment for indefinite time.

He arrived, we all sat down to the table and started to eat. I was really enjoying the food, my friend relish it and her father was just proud how excellent the cuisine was. Here I have to highlight one thing – we ate and he was guttling. No table manners. In fact, it was clear that the fine cousine zest wasn`t his thing.

But you can`t give up on a man just because of that, can`t you!

The thing is that you can after you hear certain things.

 

Anyhow, how the dinner was coming to it`s end, all of the sudden the Man started to talk about a girl he met few years ago which he really really liked. Yes, it was rude, it was brassy, insensitive and improper, but just out of curiosity, I`ve asked him what did he like about her. Bealive it or not, this was his answer:

Well, she wasn`t exactly pretty, in fact she was far from it. Her taste is clothes was… cheap and tacky. She wasn`t funny, that`s for sure. And she wasn`t smart either. I didn`t like her laughter too, but man how she was washing the dishes!“

Excuse me?!?!?!

What???

The dishes“ – he continued with a dreamy look in his eyes, „she was washing the dishes so perfectly and carefully like I never seen it before. What a woman!“ – he finished with a sigh still looking enchanted.

And that was it.

I mean, what in the world can you expect from a man which doesn`t care if you are smart, funny, how you look, if you`re sexy or not, how you dress, how you cook or finally how you laugh?!? Oh, it ended that same evening.

Last we heard about him is that he married a woman almost 20 years older than him and that the two of them are mostly living on different addresses. I bet he is coming to see her only if he feels the sudden urge to wash something for him.

What a man!

 

So, please try to make sure if the One you really really want is really for you. You know, the One which will feel your inner light, not just the shine of your freshly washed cutlery.

 

Because you deserve it, 44.

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Damn Facebook. Beside all those silly informations that you get, like when someone woke up today, what did he/she have for lunch, I must also find out who is badly missing sex. Like I care. Like anyone does.

…but thinking about the known and unknown which publish on their wall things like „ha ha ha if only someone would do me“ or „I can`t wait to get it“, besides the gastrointestinal troubles, it have brought me straight down to some other fact: that types like that are actually rarely getting any.

The brief – excessive verbalism of sexuality leads to it`s exclusion.

Statement of grounds – some women, and men,when they hit their middle age (which come galopping, by the way) become insecure and for that reason they reach for extreme vulgarity when expressing sexuality.

Practical example: few years ago, I was working with an hm…lady (?!?), ok woman, for  which I still occasionally blush when I think of her. From that whole on her face called mouth were flying out such vulgarities that I, intonating I, was left speachless. And it`s not like I don`t swear. But with her I was feeling like a 13 year old girl which vexedly observes how her tities grow. You know the feeling.

Anyway, her expressions like „bite my c**t“ were actually very balmy and civilized from her point of view…And it`s not just the matter of personal culture of behavior. When you mix it with the feeling of reduced attraction to the opposite sex, you get a devastating cocktail that can be swallowed only by truck drivers.

The interesting thing is that the same type is often nagging how the opposite sex is, quoting „f***** up, they will only **** you then leave you“. Hm…oh really? What the hell did you expect?!? For crying out load, what were you thinking? And I don`t want hear those grand  speaches about emancipation, freedom and equality. It is simple, when you start with the conversation with „Sooooooo…who big it is?“ don`t expect that he will talk about his mother`s cookies and the height of the hedge of your future house!

Also, if you try this with the regular Joe and he backs off, or runs away, that doesn`t means that he is „totally gay“ because he doesn`t want to have anything with you again.

Get it already: if you act trashy, this is exactly how he is going to respond – he will dump you. Plain and simple.

 

The person for which I`m writting this didn`t have sex for some time now. Long time. She is in her late 30s, educated, quite attractive but she is always using sexual allusions talking to a man. The thing is that even if she gets a positive response, it is always coming from some neanderthal which is convinced to be the greatest stud who ever walked on Earth and functions by the laws of the Holy trinity: F******-Gorging-Sleeping.  And that, she doesn`t want. So deduces that all men are scum.

The thing that is missing to these women is simple: men WOULD. Fact of life. And because of it, there is no need to use that kind of amount of sex in the conversation. Playing cat and mouse can be more erotic, especially if you want something more.

But if you don`t – then don`t play around with the „Ho ho ho“ messages like a drunk Santa but take him by the hand and **** his brains out. And during THAT action THEN talk dirty to him. Knock yourself out!

Otherwise, zip it. To use the immortal words of Elvis – you ain`t nothin but a hound dog, cryin all the time.

That will do (you, him and the whole situation).

 

Because you deserve it, volume 24.

 

Severely attacked (and insulted) by a nasty cold. Howcome the daytime television become a synonym for stupidity, I had nothing better to do than to surf upon all grand and small waves of the web. Uuuuuuh and goes what I found – one of the chick sites with all the „guaranteed, bonified and verified“ advices for, quoting „How to drive a man wild“.

Read it, done it and had fun.

So I advice you to do the same, just follow these few simple steps. Ready?

 1.  First lean your head a little to one side (that will, so thay say, send a signal that you are interested)

2, Then open your mouth a little and stay that way (don`t over do it otherwise you`ll look like you have a facial paralises, really don`t want that)

3. Ater that you have to concentrate on your eyes – you have to blink slooooowly but don`t you dare closing it, just leave them half-opened (here you are taking a risk to cry your eyes out like you are involved in some strange new military experiment, but hey – you do want to look sexy, don`t you?)

4. To bring the new look to perfection, throw one hip to the right and your left leg to the front, while in the same time you have to turn your knee towards your right (just be careful not to crash down to the floor otherwise Paula Abdul will spit on you like a llama on a unsuspecting child for the lack of elegance, and you reaaally don`t what THAT)

There.

Done it?

Now look yourself in the mirrow. Fantastic, isn`t it? You look like a real retard! THIS will guarantee you to drive every man wild. The only problem is that he will run wild too, but in the other direction from where you`re standing. But then again, hey you can`t have it all!

Like we have agreed before the secret of the sex appeal is…..to be yourself. Relaxed yourself. I mean, how in the hell you may even think of sex when you are concentrated on your body trying to perform some strange mixture of Jiu-Jitsu, Swan Lake and Thriller dance?!?