Tag Archive: positions

We sung last night, Iggy and I…. No fun to be alone… And somehow we synced. With the rythm and general condition. Without the applause of the crowd went wild. Just the two of us.

Then I replaced the heartbreaking atmosphere with a social glass of wine, offered by a friend. Logical as he is, he didn`t saw any downers, just a win-win situation. Fuck it, wrong audience!

Somehow we started talking about a guy we both know. They call him The Magician.

He replaced the cylinder hat with black Doc Martens and the rabbits with pure sex. Must emphasize that the guy is far from the general apprehension of attractiveness or hotness but he scores. Oh, he scores bigtime! And the ones he scores ARE pretty and really hot!

He`s not tall, acually he is quite short, not goodlooking, not rich. But his score is just fantastic. Sweet young peaches, older broads, married ones, ordinary ones, truely and really hot ones – all his.

The question is how?

Why him, howcome not somebody else, someone far more hotter, gets his piece of action so much sparsely?

Then I had an an epiphany – go with the flow. That`s it!

The thing is… he`s got an excellent style. And a very refreshing one. You just don`t feel any burden with him. He is always sunny, on a silent and gentle way. He doesn`t have any, so commonly met, peacock excesses, when a guy boasts and shows of. Men, when they try to impress a woman, so often exaggerate with wittiness, narcissistic performances, their importance in this world, their relevance at work, among his friends… You always get a „look at me!“ modus operandi.

But not with the Magician. With him, you can expect just absolute cosiness. He doesn`t harass you or disturb you, his compliments are always friendly never ambiguous…He always glides by the woman, following her rythm and needs.

No always means no.

He is patient and tactful, always pleasant, never ever agressive. He doesn`t protrudes, preaches, moans, complains, he always gives a feeling to the woman that it is all about her. On his calm and smiling way.

That`s it. No mince, no Oscar nomination, just slow and easy sliding.

And damn, he`s good at it!

There is a guy. A nice almost perfect male individual.

I mean, we all have few faults, and how we have established before, perfection is boring.

Well the almost-perfect-guy was involved with another nice female individual.

For him, she was almost perfect: she took care of him like he was the last man on Earth, she paid attention on his sick mother, she was cleaning for him, washing, cooking like a proper chef at the French restaurant…And sex…Oh sex was incredible! She loved the same things and ways like he did. Lots of toys, wild sex on different places and times, playing roles with various costumes….

He is a proper-damn-I-look-good-slicker while she was somehow…let`s use the phrase uncomely: short, fat, with completly ordinary condone face.

The thing lasted a year, more or less.

Until he met the peacock.

She was gorgeous. I mean, the one that you just have to stare. But… She was a bit shallow. Her only reading material were advices from Cosmo, she was eating only creckers and yoghurt for days always scared that she may possibly get few grammes, pretty social (if you what I mean), spending on close much more than she was making. You know the type. But…she was hot. Damn it, she really was!

So he have completly lost it, left the Goodie but not-so-attractive from the start and went riding to the golden sunset with the Peacock under his hand. Oh he was in love! Like a little kid. Completly drunk from love.

Some 5 months after the Peacock unveiled that she was pregnant. Oh the joy! They got a perfect blond little boy, an angel really. And then….

WAKE UP CALL!!!! Helloooooooooo and smell the coffee!

She is always cranky, always on a diet, very grub and she is a lousy cook. And…he is not her type. He doesn`t earns enough, not for her needs, he`s not macho enough, and he shouldn`t expect that she will fall in live with him. Hm… well. He will still try, he said.

And sex? Cata-fuckin-strophic!

There is no sex. And if it`s there, it is terrible:

– she wants to do it only in the dark

– it must be very slow and very gentle

– it can happen only in the bed

– he has to announce it at least few days before

– before every time they have to shower and chew few mints

– he must never ever use the dirty words and he must reffer to her precious organ with the word „muffin“

…which we all found very funny. Knowing him and his affinities. Can you bealive it, The muffin?!?!?

….So we have suggested a compromise, told him to try to use the following phrases: Let daddy fill s muffin with his juicy vanilla cream,  honey open the evan and take my croissant… Yap, we had few laughs!

He didn`t. But he is beating the monkey every time he can, on all porns he can get. Alone. Because she thinks is disgusting. Rocco Siffredi is his best pal now.

And he whines for the ex Goodie. I bealive that we heard about 3000 times the story of how she dressed once as a nurse and he have nailed her right on the door. With a sad sigh in the end. And how she was wet every time when he touched her. And they would do it right there, not wasting any time. Without the foreplay. Hard.


The only thing that is right now is good old Barbra with „Meeeeeeeeeeemoriiiiies……..“;-)