Tag Archive: party


I feel it. It`s happening again…

Still don`t have any tactile proof but all requirements are here.

First to introduce myslef – I am Aqua, an ex notorius troublemaker alibi.

Want to escape from your one and only, every now and then, to get wasted so much you can barely walk, come home at completly unapropriete hour, and still get away with with it?

Then blame it on me!

It`s easy, just say „I was with Aqua“ or „I run into Aqua and you know how she is, she won`t let you go after only one drink…“. There, everything solved. Just like that.

How it works? Simple, get loved, or just liked even, by your friend`s best half, get her/his trust as a decent well-behaved person but who likes to go out much and whenever you feel to break up your daily routine and get a little impish – come home and say you were with me.

Yes, you will make me curse you for a while because I really don`t want to remember all those dates when I was supposed to be partying with you, but I am your favorite and always efficient alibi. Your best half knows you won`t get in any trouble because I like pure clean fun. I will dance, lough, talk and have a drink or two…(or 3, 4, 5…:-p). But that`s it. No funny buisness.

 

No, really, few years back, I was going out much, didn`t have so much responsabilities, and you could meet almost everywhere. In clubs, concerts, bars, somewhere miles from civilisation just walking and admiring the nature, …Well, the last one I still do but partying… Let`s say that now you may see me in a club 3-4 times tops per a year, having a cup of coffee in a nice cozy place and sometimes you may see me on those few interesting exhibitions you may find. Not a perfect alibi maker anymore.

Yes, I was following Lenny Kravitz`s state of mind with that „dancing till dawn“ and I was using it the best way I could. (I was always joking with my One and only that he doesn`t knows how to go out and that I don`t know how to come home when I do). But, like I said, I had it and now I enjoy the calm harmony.

 

But…yesterday I got a message on FB from a friend of me, qouting „We have to talk, in private“. I know that she`s been going out solo for past few months, because her spouse was working, was tired, didn`t feel like partying…. And when I asked her, few days ago, when I can expect the two of them to come and see our new shiny apartment (let me brag a little) she started to shrik in a way letting me know, between the lines, that we shouldn`t contact or see her best half for now. Which is strange because her lovely Mr.D is somehow introvert and the two of us are almost the only people he wants to spend time with. Hm…

 

Me don`t likey. Don`t get me wrong, I am the first who will tap someone`s shoulder for doing something good for him/herself no matter what the rest of the world will think but this.. Looking it from the perspective of these few months, I kinda got a feeling that she has done, or doing, something really wrong. And I won`t surely be a part of that. I like that man, he is a good quality man, which I would reccomend to any woman. He is kind, romantic, strong, funny and she can always count on him. Best example: she knows to get crazy with shopping clothes and the thing makes him smile, just because it makes her happy. Now how often you meet that kind of man?!?!?

 

After all these years, I`ve come to conclusion that we shouldn`t do anything which we can`t tell our best halves. If we can`t, then we know that it will hurt that somebody, which is just wrong. (lying or deceiving is not an option for me, it takes too much energy and I really like to feel free, not tangled in anything). Or even worse, if you can`t tell it to your best half, maybe you are deceiving yourself, spending your time with a person which is clearly not for you. Don`t know which is worse.

 

So, now I am expecting. Will she or will she not ask me to cover her. Me, the troublemaker`s alibi. And I hope that she won`t. I hope that she will come out with the truth.

 

Because I (and everyone else) deserve it, 39.

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Aaaaaaah holidays!

The joy, the rush, the singing, the cursing, the partying, the exhaustion, the presents… Of which some really suck.

 

Here`s the thing, for Xmas I got a bowl of purple potpourri. It looks nice, the colour is beautiful, the glass bowl (a crystal wannabbe) is decent but the scent…it`s…it`s…hideous! Absolutely dreadful! Like something you may smell in the restroom of a cheap bar, a mix of air freshener and a strong cleaning product used for not so fancy result of some very private activities. You get the picture.

 

I got it from a neighbour which is visiting almost every day so the smelly thing should be placed on a visible place. Well, I did try but…First it was in the living room bur the smell was so irritating that I have transffered it to the kitchen entrance…which wasn`t good enough because how in world can I cook if I don`t smell any ingredient except for that bathroom…thing? So I took it and found a place on the highest cabinet but you can still smell it. In fact it is so strong that you actually feel some kind of tickling in the throat. Incredible.

 

What a person can do in such situations?

The only convicing thing that came to my mind is – blame it on the cat. The cat is vivacious, playful, always running around and jumping on the furniture, and for that reason represents the perfect candidate! And what is more important, the cat doesn`t has an alibi, she is already seen on the crime scene several times by several bonafied witnesses. Yes, I know it is not right, and I`m not proud of myself but I just can`t think of something else. And I promise I will grant her with some delicious goodies and a new toy as a fair compensation.

 

How many times did you get something you hated? And what have you done with it? Once I got a vase from a very good friend of mine and it was the ugliest thing I ever saw. So, just to make some balance between my personal taste and friend`s expectations, I have placed that disputable item in the hall. …And how she got offeneded!…She wouldn`t be more resentful and insulted even if someone would spit on her favorite suede shoes. She was angry on me for months! I was sorry and I tried to explain numeruos times that I really love her very much but that this thing is…just not my thing, but with no result. Finally, years have passed before she realized that we have completly different taste in many, many, many things, including the eternal question of what is beautiful and what`s not. (which was always actually very practical because we never liked the same guys so we never argued about that:-)

 

Next move – go to the pet shop and buy something really nice to the cat.

 

Because the cat and I deserve it, 47.

 

P.S. I wish you a really truly fabulous New year!

You know those sick bastards (and I`m sure you do) which are hiding and beating behind the bushes? That perverted type which is addressing you with a larynigitic voice „I would fuck youuuuuuuu...“ then following you home? The one which is jerking off and running after you in the same time? Those sorrowful creatures which you discover in almost every block when the night falls and on every beach during the summer?

The ones for which today you never go out alone at night, avoid walking in the parks or, God forbids, on some strange quiet alleys. Terrible, isn`t it?

But have you ever asked yourself what made them that way? Well, maybe this is the answer.

I`m sitting in a pretty pleasent company, on a house party, sipping some nice wine. And there we are, a bunch of laid back friends and new kith, joking and talking… You know how those things go. Like I said, I`m sitting cosily and bibbing my Chardonney, feeling fine, when out of the blue, one broad, a woman and a mother, starts with her dilemma:

Woman/mother: „I real think there is something wrong with our kid…..“

Audience: „Why? How do you mean?“

Woman/mother: „He˙s not jerking off!“

Audience: „?!?!?!?“ (how should you react on such a statement anyway?) …“Hmmmm…weeeell…hmmmmm…How old is he?“ – we ask embarrassingly.

Woman/mother: „12“ – she says.

Audience: „How do you know he`s not…you know….beating the monkey?“ – we ask again blinking in abashment.

Woman/mother: „I check! Every now and then, I crash suddenly into his room or bathroom and I still have managed to catch him!“

JESUS! Holy…Say what?!?!?

I almost dropped the glass! WTF?!?!? She does what?…It`s…You`re…Unbelievable!

No wonder he`s not jerking off! How could he, poor thing?

How in the world she doesn`t sees how traumatic it must be to the kid, all the time living in the fear if his mother will fly in the room (or bathroom) while he is whacking?!?

Can you imagine what must be going in his head: there he is, cockering his little friend, his little pride and joy, dreaming of some delicious chick and her nice big boobs, just him and his right hand working together, and he feels fiiiiiiiiiine, yeah, ….that`s it….he`s almost there…oh yes…there he goes…oooooooooooh….and his mother comes bursting in! He would…he would… he would die!!! Jesus! To get caught in that age by your mother while you are masturbating!

And if he is not doing it, he surely doesn`t do it because of her, for crying out loud! Because he never knows when the perverted sicko of his mother will crash in like SWAT! And what would she say if she would „catch“ him? You`ve been punked?!? Or: let mamma see if you`re doing it properly?!?

What a control freak. What in the world do you have to do with his little ding-dong? Of course he`s not normal, how can he be? When every time he feels that strange but pleasant arising, he remembers his mother. Thinking how she will enter in the room right at this moment. Cathing him in the middle of the performance. Give the kid some privacy!

What a world! And then you ask how the perverts are made. In this very way, dear respected woman/mother! When a healthy, delightful and above all joyful act becomes a traumatic experience caused by such a parent! Who wants to think of his mother when he`s doing it?!? What a freak!

I am sincerely hoping that I won`t meet her again so soon. Or her kid, when he grows up, when I think of it.