Tag Archive: noise


The drinking problem

I`m Aqua and I have a drinking problem. (now you go „bravooooo! clap clap…“). No, it`s not that I am spilling the drinks every time I take a glass but I am having a serious problem with the alcohol. The odd one, but still.

The thing is that I can`t drink anymore. I do try, every now and then, but the result is always the same, after one drink, sometimes even before I finish it – I get a proper hangover. For example: one glass of wine means that after 15 minutes I will get a bad headache and max 2 hours later I will be passionately hugging the toilet bowl like a good old friend which I haven`t seen for ages. And I will stay in this position for hours. Then, for the next 24 hours, I will feel like I had 14 shots of vodka, 4 glasses of homemade schnaps and 2 bottles of Merlot from a very bad year. And maybe 3 beers more, just to be on the safe side.

Why? I have no idea.
I was a normal social drinker, nothing too much or regular. It just happened some time ago. And no, it`s not alcohol intolerance, because when you have that, you get properly drunk after a smallest glass of alcohol, which I don`t. I am completly sober with an absolute hangover.

So, after carefully preparing the performance to my doctor (the approach: „Doc, help me to become an alcoholic!“ wasn`t an option) from all points of view, she gave me an advice. Quoting: „Well….don`t drink for couple of years than try again“. Well done Yoda! That is brilliant! I would never think of it by myself!….#?%#!©!!!!!!!!!!

The thing is that I would really like to share a bottle of wine with my Loved one again. And that I would really like to spend some time out, without getting a decent headache from loud music. Yes, it has to be loud, I am a typical product of a rebel teenager, meaning that I still like alternative music, from metal to punk. Good jazz is more then welcome but I really enjoy quality noise.
And not taking a drink or two means that I will suffer. Don`t know if you have noticed, but alcohol, among other things, is blunting your sensitivity for loudness so that if you visit a punk concert you won`t feel so good. Once I went sober on a punk wedding once and trust me – that wasn`t a good move. I got a terrible headache and nausea which would pass every time I left the room. Yes, I tried it that night dozens of times, just to confirm the experiment. And it`s true. Take it from Dr.Aqua.

So, for it I have become a social outcast. A strange, weird and odd person, which won`t go out and mingle like normal people do. And to be sincere, I had it. I love to go out, I love to mingle, dance (or at least do what I call dancing), sing out loud and generally enjoy. I don`t think that`s fair. Not for me, anyway. I just can`t see myself as someone`s old aunt sitting at home with a cup of tea.

So, if any of you had or have similar problem, let me know and help the woman to become a convivial and diverting part of the society again.

P.S. friendly advice, if some doctor ever asks you „Do you drink alcohol?“ always, but always, answer with a big NO. This naive fool have answered once „Oh, here and then, you know…“ which left me with a permanent remark of a semi-alcoholic in my official chart, making me embarrassed every time when some doctor sees it and asks „Oh, I see it now….So, how many drinks do you have per a day?“ Incredible.

I live in a certain type of paradise. No matter how touristy it may sound, here in the heart of the Mediterranean, you may still find lots of untouched beaches where the sound of waves kissing the shore is your only companion.

And I love it. Can you immagine it? A beautiful pebble beach with crystal clear sea and great blue sky only for you…

Even if you don`t won`t to bother with it, and you choose a beach with few people already on it, you will still get a relaxation and piece and quite that you need. The people on it, like yourself, are looking for the same thing so that everyone respect the silent mode.

Well…almost everyone.

Living on such a place, we are used to tourists, people from all the world are coming here and they are all wellcome but one thing scare us all: August. Why August? `Cause this is the time of  Ferragosto, the Italian holiday season.

I love Italians. Have few Italian friends and they are all very cheerful, friendly and passionate but there is one annoying thing they all share – they are noisy. Extremly noisy. Incredibly noisy. And they just don`t realize how it effects people around them. They don`t even see, or better hear, the difference between them and others. Completly ignorant.

Example:

Last summer, a lovely beach in the suburbs. You can hear only the sound of waves, hushing few seagulls. There are 15 people on the beach, all talking silently and enjoying. Chilling. Until…

A car came. With Italian plates. And the got cavalry out: mamma, pappa`, nonna (who takes his mother in a law on the vacation?!?oh yes, the Italians!) and a small Italian bambino. Then they started to take out the logistic from the car: 10 towels, 4 fridges, 5 balls, 18 kg of fruit, 12 bottles of aqua minerale,…

After the camp was settled, they went into the water. All 4 of them. And that luscious ravishing regenerating time of complete wellness was over, suddenly ended with extermely rasping voices screaming:

Mamma: „E`insalata l`aqua?“

Nonna: „Si, e`insalata!“

Pappa`: „Ma come, e`insalata l`aqua?’“

Mamma: „Ma l`aqua e`insalata!“

Nonna. „Si, e`insalata!“

And like that for 20 minutes! Incredible! The bambino have realized that the water is salty as soon as he entered in the damn water! And I am sure that the rest of the people there where pretty aware of it!!! And why the hell are you yelling?!? And talking all in the same time?!?

15 people were enjoying in peace and quite, respecting each other before you arrived. Why, oh why are you screaming?!? We are not deaf!

Then you have the thing with the driving. It`s a classical fight in the arena for them. They are always speeding, double-parking, not looking at the signs, not respecting other drivers or usual traffic laws, like the rules don`t apply to them. Last summer we were watching a genious which didn`t want to wait in the que during the rush hour, and literally tried to SLIP GENTLY behind policeman`s back without being seen!?!? With the Mercedes?!?! The cop couldn`t bealive his own eyes…

And it`s not like they do it on purpose – it`s just the way they are. We now they don`t mean a thing, they are just… Italians. It is their way. And this is why you just can`t be mad on them, at least not for long. At least till nex August;-)