Tag Archive: mother


I am having a serious conversation. With a 8 year old child. A girl, to be more precise. Which is stirred, not shaken. Anyhow, she would like to know something, but then again maybe she wouldn`t, maybe it would be better for her to don`t know….SPIT IT OUT KIDDO!!! – I go  sympathetically and tactfully. „Uhhhhhhhhh“, says the kid, „Aaaaaaahm… how the babies are made?“. Ha! So she got me thinking how to explain sex to a child without provocing any trauma with all that pushing, flexible holes, self-willing swelling parts and cetera. And all of the sudden, here it comes my Loving one with a book in his hands named „Sexual education for 7-9 year old children“. Gift from above….. And I will adore and kiss your steps, won`t take ever your name from my lips….Give it! Right now!

So, we discovered that the one who`s name we shall not speak (and it`s not Prince/sign or Voldemort) but the one we call Mhhhhhmmmmm-thingy, boys use primerly for peeing, Ha ha ha, he he he, silly boys. Then we discovered that boys and girls too, when they are little older, get hair down there. Uuuuhhhhgh, I don`t want hair there! (though luck kiddo, but even getting lost in the forest has it`s avails, just be careful not to evolve fauna with the flora). Then we passed on a sexual maturity, with her real question: „What are they selling in a sex shop?“. BOOM,  BANG,  BAM, WHAM….. Excuse me?!?!?!?!?….And there goes child innocently explaining that her and her little friend saw the other day one of these shops and they wanted to get in because they can`t figure out what things are actually offered in a such a place. Weeeeeell, hmmmmmmm, you seeeeee, I meaaaaaaan, the people buuuuuuy, ahmmmmmmm…that….pretty-underwear-and-other-things-which-now-would-be-very-boring-to-you-and-for-which-some-adults-think-they-should-buy-it-to-their-sweethearts-with-whom-they-make-love-to-love-each-other-even-more. HA! Next question, please! Quickly! (….son of the…how in the world do they know about the dildo?!?!?!?)

And the she hits me with the next one: why do we have to avoid the sun when we get the period? „. What?????? Who said that???? Her mamma told her, she says, and after it she also said that when they get their period girls must avoid sun at all costs because then they bleed twice as much so now she is wondering what she shoud do during the summer?

To hell with her dim uneducated mother! What kind of nonsense is this?!? No sweety, that ain`t right. You don`t have to hide in caves when you get your period, nothing bad is going to happen, mummy just didn`t get it right. „Oooooh“, she says, „ and can`t you tell me why boys don`t cry?“ And there goes an intervention again, of course they cry, every normal man cries when he feels bad, you know, just like us, when they are sad, angry, or both. Even daddy cries sometimes. And your adored cousin Paul. „But my mom told me that real men don`t cry, ever!“. That mom of yours is a walking idiot, I`m thinking…What else did your mamma say?  „Weeeeell“, she goes “mom said that girls which are changing boys are whores and the boys that are no good are fags.“

 

Can you bealive it!?! But the kid had more of it: that she has to dress „well“ when she is going to the beach because nobody mustn`t see her tities (which tities?!? You`re 8, about which tities are speaking about?!?) or her tush, God forbid (what that she has to wear on the beach, a raincoat?). Then she said that depilation is very painful, that you have to hide from everyone when you have your period…. Incredible. That narrow minded mother of hers will make a a sexually deviant person, like she is, which won`t be able to love herself, or her future partner, or be capable to enjoy sex freely. Because that is disgusting.  All that. Including all the male population.

Then we are speaking about some programmes against discriminations and prejudices. Then you can hear us complaining that men are disrespecting us. No, no, my dear, you got it all wrong. Women are doing it, mostly, raising new generations of frustrated idiots of both sexes which just can`t embrace something normal, like their own bodies, delights and sincere love, labeling it like general shame and sin. Incredible. In this time and age…

 

P.S. what that mother needs is a genuine kick with a mace. Maybe, just maybe, then she would understand how backward she really is and let her child grow up in a happy and satisfied person.

 

 

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Went yesterday to a opening of a new drogstore. Me and about one million people too.And children. Running, screaming, curious, destructive children. And their mothers. Ignorant, indifferent, and apparently deaf mothers.

On the parfume and make up section, I saw a security guy who was helplessly observing the total chaos: kids, from 2-10 years old, were hosing and sprinkling each other with perfumes, spilling all the nail polish they could, drawing flowers on the floor with lipsticks… I mean demolishing the store. With the belonging sound background….While their mothers haven`t paid any attention to it. Let the children play… Aren`t they sweet?

Damn it, are you blind?!? And deaf??!!????

I read recently that a restaurant have decided not to tolerate the „nasty“ children and their parents. And for that decision, lots of people found themselves offended and shocked. Why???? How in the world did you mean that other people may find this behavior cute? Or funny. Or normal? Or desirable! Have mercy towards the others! And respect. You may be very proud on the product of your sexual activity, but the child is a HUGE responsability, and if you are not 100% sure that you are able to raise it, educated and train it, don`t do it!

You must have a permit for driving your car or for fishing, but nobody asks you anything if you decide to bring and raise a new person. So that every idiot may brag with his offspring. Lots of them can`t even take care of themselves but they sure know how to „stick it“ (or „take it“) not to mention what it takes to raise a new human being and help him become a man/woman. Then, few years later, if their „little miracle“ does something really bad, and turns into a reject, they wonder how it happened.

Do you have what it takes? Think about it. Do you bealive that you have enough strenght, selfcontrol, authority, personal education and training that you may bring up a person with qualities? Are you prepared to listen for few hours or days crying, screaming and booing after a simple NO? Are you capable to endure child`s begging or emotional extortions without backing down? Or to hear „I HATE YOU!“ if you don`t give him/her something, or let him do or go somewhere, hoping that one day he/she will grow up and understand that your decision was for his/her best? Are you prepared to be his parent, and not his best friend, his pal, someone who „digs him“, someone who is cool, just not to start a conflict? Because you want your child`s endless love. After all, this is your blood, you adore it, you would give your life for it…wouldn`t you?

I deeply respect those strong good parents who know what it takes and what they have to take to raise a good person. My standing ovations, really.

But to the others… No, it is not cute if your „bundle of joy“ is breaking things around, smashing everything on it`s way or screaming out loud while you try to speak on the phone with someone. And that someone is screaming back to you , because you didn`t understand a word what he/she said. No, it is not sweet how you raise your voice so that we can hear you. We don`t want to get a serious hearing damage or a huge headache.

So that next time, if you call us, and you spoiled brat is screaming like an idiot, seeking for your undivided attention for 24 hours, don`t be surprised if the conversation will be somehow strange and don`t be shocked on what you will hear.

Thanks a lot.

I SAID….THAAAANKS A LOOOOOT!

Click. Beeep…beeeep…beeeeep…. Please don`t call us if you don`t have at least some respect for us, so that you can explain to your child that the grown-ups are important too.

The phone is ringing. I`m picking it up and hear my dear friend screaming:

„She`s completly insane! She˙s making me nuts!“

What happened? She, the friend, has a mother. And the mother is not well, somewhat from her age, then from the lifestyle (bacon is woman`s best friend theory) all accompanioned with stubbornness. So the mother got sick again and the Friend took her to the hospital. There she got therapy and further testings.

Which lasted for 2 days.

The 3rd day, dear mom packed her things and left. To the other part of the country for a wedding. She left a note, that she will get back on Monday. A promise.

Till Monday my friend will eat her heart out worrying. Not a promise. A fact.

I understand her completly.

My grandma, for example, gives the prefix „shoemaker“ to all the doctors. So that the actual title of the doctor, upon her opinion, goes: dr.shoemaker .Tony Smith PhD. Because they don`t have a clue. So she is fighting with her arms and legs every time she have to visit one.

The thing that really worries me now is that my mother took the same modus operandi lately.

She won`t see a doctor.

Not for a million.

Yes, she is suffocating, has vertigos, nauseas,… but she won`t go. `Quoting „Cause they suck!“. She claims that they will only harass her and that they surely won`t help her. Which arises the argument because I bealive that this is very selfish and irrisponssible from her on what she responds that she have already prepared the money for her funeral?!? so I don`t have to think about a thing. Like, everything is all right now.

Right, thank you mom! I am much calmer now!…

When she pisses me like that, the only thing I can think of is to put few sedatives in her food, tie her with a solid rope and drag her to the doctor!

If she keeps on with this insane ignorant crusade, I will probably do it. I risk a suit for domestic violence but she asked for it.

The interesting thing about it is that my Friend, no matter how she is angry on her mother, is also avoiding the doctors. And she is very affectionate to self-healing. When she is sick, she just empties the medicine cabinet, takes all the pills that she finds in her home, and waits till it passes. But the drugs don`t wooooork….

And now even my mother started to behave like my grandma. No matter how she was freaking out before about it. Now she just burries herself on the sofa and repeats I don`t waaaanaaaaaa like a 3year old. Which again activates my dark kidnapping-drug-abuse urges.

All that makes me think that how much we hate the behavior of our parents, no matter how much we are trying not to repeat their mistakes and how much we work on ourselves to be better persons – the legacy is still alive.

We are and we will always be children of our parents.

I don`t know about you but I just freeze every time when I catch myself telling or doing something which drove me nuts with my falks. And then I wonder, will I have enough time/years to see, correct and don`t pass further those family faults which they have generously given to me?

Because they are here for so long that I still don`t perceive it, they are still laying in the usual/normal drawer.

Or to write and notarize the document to my close ones where I will state that I allow  kindapping, drugging and dragging of yours truely to the doctors in case of dogged stubbornness and selfishness? At least to give them some peace of mind.

Scanning, that`s will I do.

I will upgrade my personal anti-malware program which will sistematicaly search and eliminate potential treaths. Integrated with a similar program of my close ones. Just to be sure.

To be certain not to copy-paste and send fwd those malicious folders.

Because me and my loved ones deserve it.