Tag Archive: man


Like first, I`ve got to reveal a crucial information that for some idiotic virus I am spending my days laying, coughing, sneezing and driveling. And, I`m bored. I`m so bored that I tried watching ALL the channels trying to find something which will hold my interest for more than 7 seconds but so far nothing good came out of it. The delight of daily television is consisted of soap-trash from all part of the world, so that the only soap opera I haven`t found is the one about impossible love between a lovely girl from Uzbekistan towards a Kazahstanian shepard. Oh joy…

Anyway, I read the new book and decided that I don`t have anything better to do than to „travel“ through the web. And there….Oh revelation! I found a lovely little article from the group „How to be irresistibly sexy and drive the men completly wild“. Superb. Have you tried it yet? You haven`t? Oooooooh now it`s the perfect time! Go to the mirrow and experience these guaranteed advices. Maestro, drums please!

So, they say that the secret is in body language which you can easily learn. Once you master these skills, you will become the flirting guru followed by a mass of horny studs. Ready? Let`s do it.

 

  1. First you have to lean your head a little. (that will give you the impression of curiosity)
  2. Then you have to open your mouth and leave it that way (that will, so they say, create a truely sensual effect, but don`t exaggerate or you will look like you have facial paralysis)
  3. After that concentrate on your eyes – blink slowly, but even then don`t open it widely but keep your eyes half-opened (ok, here you risk to cry your eyes out, like you are a part of some bad military experiment but….anything for beauty, right?)
  4. To complete the impression, throw out your right hip and your left foot place forward simuntaniously turning your knee towards the inside (here be careful not to crash down and kiss the floor, trying to perform a triple axel because you will lose at least 10 points for the lack of elegance)

 

Theeeeeeeeeeere….

And now look yourself in the mirrow. Fantastic! You look like a true retard! THIS will guarantee you to drive any guy… away, as far as possible.

I just can`t help thinking that they are trying to idiotize us on every step. Including our sexual area.

And really, who is following these things?!? Anyone?

That`s why I seriously reccomend to avoid these „beneficient“ advices. Be who you really are. To paraphrase good old Hemingway – the secret of a charming and sexy woman is in the simple fact that she thinks that she is pretty. Whatever that beauty meant to her. At least then she is relaxed enough that she can think about sex at all and not on somebody`s distorted ideas. And they are twisted and distorted.

 

You are sexy. When you wake up, when you walk, when you talk, when you breath. Period.

 

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She`s got certain years. Actually, she doesn`t, but lets say that she is, according to some provincial criteria, passed the line for rosebud, fresh dew and busy bees. This is why she is very worried with the absence of a wedding ring on her finger which should be the indicator of successful living. So because of that, she is determined to find a husband at any cost.

 The scenario should go something like this:

her aunt, from her birthplace, knows a guy from that same town (after all, roots are roots) which is single. It doesn`t matter how he looks like, he`s got all hands, legs and a head. The aunt gave her his number of telephone and said that he will be celebrating his birthday, few days from today. The gameplan was that the mentioned Ringcovetor sends him a text message with birthday wishes to establish a first contact. Which was successfully done. The communication continued through few other messages and they have agreed to meet in their birthtown. There they had a drink, exchanged few usual weather/politics sentences, after which they have both returned into towns where they live and work.

And the show may begin….

The Singleman was classified into a high priority category which you don`t let go. To be more precised, the travesty with direct flirting, sighing and admiration, with detalied and careful planning was on. Actively.

This was going on about a month and a half ago. `Till now, they saw each other 3 times till then. In the meanwhile the Ringcovetor have requested and procured a transfer from her firm to a city where the Singleman lives and works. She is already making plans of which wedding dress will she buy and looking for an apartment where THEY will live. Should I say that not even one of this plans was mentioned to the Singleman and that he hasn`t a slighest idea of the diabolique plan? I guess not, you have figuared it out…..

I am standing in the street, after meeting this female hunter, and the Ringcovetor is euphorically „reporting“ the newest data of her grand plan. Like I said, I am standing there, nodding in silence but not bealiving. What the…?!?!? How…? What is wrong with her? How in the world can someone do that to another person?!? After the primary surprise, I dare to ask how he looks like (yes, I know, it is superficial, but after that kind of report, I couldn`t remember what would be the suitable response).

And this was the answer. „…well…he is not exactly what we would say goodlooking…Normally, I like strong developed men and he is.. hm…kind of tiny. His face is not the prettiest neither….“. And again, what the…..????

So my next question was what do they have in common. And…silence. She is not saying anything and I – I am waiting…

She is probably thinking „who the hell she thinks she is, bothering me with some irrelevant questions???“ and I am thinking „Well honey, if you took the liberty to bother ME with it, and you really picked the wrong day, let`s go all the way down!“

After a minute or so she answers: „We…we are made for each other!“

So this is why I tweet innocently: „Really? Why do you think that? What do you like about him? What are his favorite things?“

She is looking at me irritated and says:“ I know it! What does it matters what are his favorite things?!?“.

Aaaaaah, soooo, THAT`s why! He is alive, single and you are under pressure for the time-table! …Anyhow, we said goodbye, she went her way and I took mine, still not bealiving what I have just heard. She has to marry at any cost, using all means, not giving a s..t how and with who.

I had this conversation a week ago and I still can`t understand it. I presume that when she stopped me in the street, she wanted to brag with her story of success, to me and God knows  who else, but she just can`t see how that makes her…perfid, low, pathetic and how that is degrading for both sides. And that this isn`t something with which you should brag with, au contraire – you should keep your mouth shout.

On the other hand, if the guy is blind enough not to see it, then I guess he deserves that. Otherway, he would move from this platform of super-fast trains for belated destinations.

P.S. in case I hear the sequel of this story, I will let you know.

„Career woman,  educated, funny, charming, looking for a male regarding good sex. Relationship and marriage possible, after consumating his good(ie)s.“

How that sounds?

If you`re a guy, bloody scary, that`s how.

Predatory.

We are talking about sexual equality, about sexual freedom, about all those nicely packed sh.t, with a bow on the top.

The truth is very simple – they are hunters and we are the prey, which doesn`t has much value in their eyes if it surrenders right away. To make it even more simple, if you sleep with the guy the same evening, you often become dull. Yes, you  may see each other for a while, have few good sexual encounters, but for something serious he will choose someone who put at least a little fight. Raising it`s price, in the same time.

Let`s be honest – we can yell, scream, write books, protest as much as we want, but when sex is considered,  they are still very conservative. They still like to try, to fight, even a little, to get their object of desire. Otherwise, they just loose interest and respect. So, we are left with what? To be stubborn, to do it our way, to get mad, cry, curse or just to take the things as they are.

That, I`ve been explaining to a creature, very dear to me,  for the past 10 years. Every now and then, she gets caught in the specific blues, repeating how she would like to have an official boyfriend, how she would like to be loved, cuddled, but it`s ain`t happening. All she has are dates which are starting and finishing as one night stands. The closest she ever came to a relationship, in all this years, are horny calls of the certain guy, in the middle of the night. That kind of „relationship“ lasted over a year. Tears, pleasure and fury were mixing through time, until she finally had it.

All this time she was playing her favorite happy-go-lucky song, saying that she is liberal, opened and that she has the right on it. And she really does.

But…

It`s doesn`t have anything to do with love but with consumation. A fine restaurant dinner vs. fast food. Making a fine dinner takes some effort, time and energy. If you`re not up to it, then take a hot-dog. But then don`t expect some magical flavours.

Seriously, this is how the things are regarding sex, we are still living in the age of caveman. If we get something right away, on a easy way – we just don`t appreciate it. If we have to fight for it, then it`s estimated value is far more higher.

On the other side, sex is a great thing, but if we take to a level to just satisfy our biological need, how in the world we can expect something more?

This is the time of consumerism, where we are actually receiving the message that nothing is priceless and that everyone are replaceble. We can`t praise on that altair expecting that somebody will appreciate us too much, not in that way, that`s sure. That would be prudish.

Let`s make it simple, like true hedonists – if you decide to guttle, to stack food in yourself just to survive, not thinking about it and not giving it a second thought, how do you expect a strong healthy body and some heavenly peaks?

Just decide. Who do you want to be? A predator or a prey? When you do, the things will be much easier. For you and for everyone else.