Tag Archive: life


So, there’s me, standing on the street, minding my own business. After few minutes of such performance, a woman comes along. She stops and starts some light conversation, adding that she is just waiting for her husband to pick her up. A minute later, a car stops, the woman smiles, waves to her good man, turns to me and… She hugs me! She really hugged me! Like she knew me for years. I met a real true street hugger!

I was so surprised that I just stood there and remembered to pat her on the back because I really didn’t know what else to do. And it was a long hug. I mean, I don’t know if my mother hugged me for that long in my whole life. Don’t get me wrong, the woman seemed really pleasant, but I was so shocked that I was blinking like an idiot way after she was gone.

What in the world came to her? Why would you hug a total stranger? On the street, someone you don’t know, who is just sharing a piece of a public space with you for few minutes. And she looked really happy during and after the act. Then she got me thinking, maybe I looked sad and she thought that I needed it. If I did, maybe I should wear a t-shirt with the sign “It’s just my face. Move along”. I’m not a big hugger. I have only a few friends with which I would do it and those hugs are saved for special occasions, like birthdays and so. OK, few more when one of those friends gets a little drunk and starts to compulsively hug everyone around.

But somehow, that day that woman felt the need to do it.

And I accepted it.

You know what?

I have probably deserved it, 177. Bear hug

 

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Are you single? Feeling ok with it? Good.

 

And what if one day you decide to share your beautiful world with someone and you find out that the competition is changed?

I am a big fan of singleism. Used to be one and really enjoyed it. And for that reason, I always defend someone`s choice to be single. Let`s face it – it is not always easy. You will be judged by your family (why can`t you find somebody nice and settle down?), by your married friends (the time is flying, you know, you can`t go on like this forever), your work colleagues (you think you`re something special?) and the public in general.

It takes cojones to be solo, to live by your own rules, to comfort and cheer yourself when rainy days come, to solve everyday dramas and always give 100% because you have to, because there is no other half who will do it for you. Not to mention that everything is more expensive, for you, single as you are.

But that kind of freedom, if you want it, worths every penny.

 

Now, let`s say that one day you decide that you are ready for sharing yourself with someone? (have a friend which uses this term, qouting „I want to share myself with someone“). Let`s say that now you are in your late 30s. You look younger than you are, having this bless because you haven`t given any birth, had all the time in the world for yourself and everything that comes with it.

What do you expect, who will be your competition on the market? Have you already prepared yourself to curse the 20 year old bimbos?

Well think again because the ones who you should be aiming are the socially praised married ones.

My best friend is actually „looking“ after 20 and something beautiful years of singleism….and surprise, suprise, her competition are actually married girls and women who go out a lot and somehow forget to mention that they are married. They flirt, sometimes push for something more juicier, sometime are in a relationship with single guys telling them how it is hard for them, that their best half doesn`t has any understanding for their needs, how much he is working, they are always alone, and blah, blah, blah…The dame in distress bulls…. You know the drill.

 

How do I fit in the story? Because one of my best friend`s „rivals“ turned out to be someone I know. Someone with who recently I had several discussions regarding this kind of life. My point of view is very simple – don`t do anything what you don`t want to be done to you. Cheating someone who is devoted to you, just because you are bored, is idiotic and cowardly. It takes COURAGE to enjoy the benefits of being single. Living under someone`s wing, lying, just that you may have a safe port after the exciting storm is … It makes you a pure zero.

If you want to have this kind of life, be honest and fair, and take the „single“ step. Yes, it is a big step, a complicated one, often hard, but it is the only right step you can do. That is if you have any respect for yourself and for other people.

 

To use the immortal wisdom of the Beastie Boys, you gotta fight for your right to party. Otherwise, you don`t deserve it and the others do not deserve all the c..p you`re pulling off either.. In fact, you are taking someone`s place on that thrill ride, so get up and move on.

There are people waiting in line here, so c`mon!:-p

 

Because we don`t deserve it, 39. (me for listening to this s… almost every day, those poor partners who still doesn`t suspect anything, the other sides which don`t expect to be deceived and used, and finally the single ones for taking their indentity, place and rights)

 

The hommage also goes to another friend which have boldly and fairly taken the single step, after 20 years of marriage. That`s to way to do it!

 

 

 

 

 

Have someone ever called you a cold selfish ….? And why is that?

 

A friend of mine called me yesterday very upset because someone is very mad at her. That certain someone is sick.The problem is that he stopped taking medications 3 years ago and, even more, he is not taking care of himself in any term, drinking a lot and doing nothing to help his body and mind. Now, that friend of mine was always there for him, day and night, in all the ways she could think of. She`s got lots of problems too, but she gave her best to the Sick one. And she had it yesterday. Because what is the use to try to ease someone`s life if that someone won`t help himself in any way?

I have backed her up. I have totally backed her up.

 

You see, I was the „duty officer“ almost all my life. The one which has the obligation to be at disposal 24/7. The needs of others were always before my own because that is the way they taught me. Until one morning I saw that all of them have a life, a relationship, a marriage, children and a carieer and that I was left behind. Without any of that. Because my family role was to make sure that all of them get what they need. And the trick is that you are never good enough in anything you do and whatever you give is insufficient. It is the endless pit.

 

Oh yes, I tried to argue, trying to explain my position, telling that even the Constitution gives me the right to work at least, for crying out loud, but it always ended with big scenes and the  accusation qouting „How can you be so selfish? Poor Mary/John/Maria/James/Lily/Robert/Lind/Shaniqua/Mumtembe Kurtungue/ Changchang Li.…(please continue the queue, any name will do)…needs that!“. Oh really? And what do I need? Do I exist as a living breating being at all?!?

So I`ve decided that I will be just like that – selfish, whatever that would mean.

Yes, if someone of them really needs the help I am still here, but I won`t waste my time and energy on something like „Call the library and ask them if the new S.E. Phillips book have arrived. And do it now! Mary/Jane/Linda… is waiting!“. And why in the hell wouldn`t she pick up the phone and call herself?!?!? And that kind of irrelevant stuff, you know the drill.

 

So for it, I have decided to draw a line. A proper border, to be more specific. Here is your teritory, there is no man`s land, and there, you see, is my teritory. Anything to declare? No? Are you bringing anything which may be harmful to the Aqualand or it`s residents? Like everlasting guilt, constant accusations, insults or total disregard? No? OK then, enjoy your stay and remember to respect the enviroment. We are very proud of it, our high peaks and deep waters are beautiful but also very sensitive to pollution. Of any kind.

And oh yes, please make sure to be always properly dressed; this way up north the winter comes suddenly and you don`t want to get frozen or to be find under the avalanche for being careless, do you?

 

Respectufully,

 

your border guard Aqua.

 

Because I deserve it, 39.