Tag Archive: lie


She`s got certain years. Actually, she doesn`t, but lets say that she is, according to some provincial criteria, passed the line for rosebud, fresh dew and busy bees. This is why she is very worried with the absence of a wedding ring on her finger which should be the indicator of successful living. So because of that, she is determined to find a husband at any cost.

 The scenario should go something like this:

her aunt, from her birthplace, knows a guy from that same town (after all, roots are roots) which is single. It doesn`t matter how he looks like, he`s got all hands, legs and a head. The aunt gave her his number of telephone and said that he will be celebrating his birthday, few days from today. The gameplan was that the mentioned Ringcovetor sends him a text message with birthday wishes to establish a first contact. Which was successfully done. The communication continued through few other messages and they have agreed to meet in their birthtown. There they had a drink, exchanged few usual weather/politics sentences, after which they have both returned into towns where they live and work.

And the show may begin….

The Singleman was classified into a high priority category which you don`t let go. To be more precised, the travesty with direct flirting, sighing and admiration, with detalied and careful planning was on. Actively.

This was going on about a month and a half ago. `Till now, they saw each other 3 times till then. In the meanwhile the Ringcovetor have requested and procured a transfer from her firm to a city where the Singleman lives and works. She is already making plans of which wedding dress will she buy and looking for an apartment where THEY will live. Should I say that not even one of this plans was mentioned to the Singleman and that he hasn`t a slighest idea of the diabolique plan? I guess not, you have figuared it out…..

I am standing in the street, after meeting this female hunter, and the Ringcovetor is euphorically „reporting“ the newest data of her grand plan. Like I said, I am standing there, nodding in silence but not bealiving. What the…?!?!? How…? What is wrong with her? How in the world can someone do that to another person?!? After the primary surprise, I dare to ask how he looks like (yes, I know, it is superficial, but after that kind of report, I couldn`t remember what would be the suitable response).

And this was the answer. „…well…he is not exactly what we would say goodlooking…Normally, I like strong developed men and he is.. hm…kind of tiny. His face is not the prettiest neither….“. And again, what the…..????

So my next question was what do they have in common. And…silence. She is not saying anything and I – I am waiting…

She is probably thinking „who the hell she thinks she is, bothering me with some irrelevant questions???“ and I am thinking „Well honey, if you took the liberty to bother ME with it, and you really picked the wrong day, let`s go all the way down!“

After a minute or so she answers: „We…we are made for each other!“

So this is why I tweet innocently: „Really? Why do you think that? What do you like about him? What are his favorite things?“

She is looking at me irritated and says:“ I know it! What does it matters what are his favorite things?!?“.

Aaaaaah, soooo, THAT`s why! He is alive, single and you are under pressure for the time-table! …Anyhow, we said goodbye, she went her way and I took mine, still not bealiving what I have just heard. She has to marry at any cost, using all means, not giving a s..t how and with who.

I had this conversation a week ago and I still can`t understand it. I presume that when she stopped me in the street, she wanted to brag with her story of success, to me and God knows  who else, but she just can`t see how that makes her…perfid, low, pathetic and how that is degrading for both sides. And that this isn`t something with which you should brag with, au contraire – you should keep your mouth shout.

On the other hand, if the guy is blind enough not to see it, then I guess he deserves that. Otherway, he would move from this platform of super-fast trains for belated destinations.

P.S. in case I hear the sequel of this story, I will let you know.

Before I start, here`s a short messagge to a guy who loves dogs a little too much: THERE ARE NO DOGS FUCKING HERE. At least not in my posts.

Yes, I love sex and I really love dogs, but this two I don`t „combine“. Get it? Good.

I mean, some of mine ex-s I may classify as animals, but zoophilia is not my thing. (one of my ex-s was lying like a dog, the other one was often playing with his monkey, the third one ate like the pig,…Oh, and another one was so hairy that he looked more like a bear…but still-no sodomy here)

Talking about sexual deviations and the thrill that they bring, we will easly slip into the problem. To cut to the chase, let`s say that people who are in it, have a fear of rejection. Simple as that. They are grown up but their cojones haven`t followed them. Instead, they developed in some other form. Hm.

For example, I know a guy who often fantasies about gang bang. The 1 on 1 action it`s just not enough for him. But he freaks on 4:1 formation. And he just can`t see that, THAT is incredible fear and hate towards women, and so protrutedly supressed homosexuality that is…unbelievable. Which he can`t admit to himself. Not in a million years.

But considering that he lives in a very macho culture, where homosexuality wears a big negative sign, he have „flipped over“ the thing on a way that according to him s more…appropriate.

Because this way, the woman is still a very degraded  and very irrelevant object, while the male sexuality is almighty.

Imagine several naked male bodies, their prides and joys which dangle and only one little woman. Hm… There is something…fishy in the scene. You like women? Really? And again, hm…

Soooo, there is no chance in hell that you enjoy in that nice male bodies which are petting on you? Oh! That`s grues you say? Aha! Right.

Of course you don`t. Everything is alright, baby. Hush.

And then the frog turned into a princ and the dragon….

The resume is: it is nice to be kinky a bit, as long as you don`t exaggerate. When the things become just too weird. Like dogs, sheeps, calamaries… Then it`s time for somebody to shout „hold your horses!“ what is too much is too much.

And to you, dog man, you are a sick puppy!

The phone rings. With a cry for help. (literally, I`ve picked it up and heard „aaaaaaaaaaa“). A couple I know, friends of mine, demanded to meet because, I quote“they can`t take it anymore“. Well, when you put it that way….

They are together for, what, 4 months now. Total love, they say. Inseparable from day one, they sleep together, go shopping together, eat together, scream together…

And that is the problem.

They fight. Oh my God they really do! And the fights are brutal, sometimes they take all night. As they are both insecure, when the first one bites, the other one returns with heavy artillery. Not even thinking about it. After all this time, it have become a habbit, a reflex move for both of them.

One of the things on which they are proud is that they talked, reported and recounted everything to each other. Whole emotional and sexual past. With all the juicy details…hm. Bad move.

The actual problem is:

-she have declared that her ex, with whom she spent several years, is still in her heart, as a good friend and a nice person, that they call each other from time to time, and blah blah blah…. Ooooooooooooh woman! You… you…. you….did what?!? You can`t say that to HIM!!! What is wrong with you?!? First you tell him, illustrate him with all the technical details, what have you been doing, where, how long, how often and then you spice it with a „he is still in my heart“!?!?!

Who wants to hear that??? He is already dazed and doubtful! So what He actually heard was: „we remained close after all that time after the break up, because he is sooooooooo fantastic and if you make a mistake, if you even slip, I will pick up the phone and return in his arms (and bed)„. Ha!

And why, WHY, are you telling each other everything? What`s that twisted urge of exibitional massacre? That`s official and classical torture!

I don`t want to carry around pictures of my boyfriend with all his ex-s! No details, please.

Give me the basics – we-were-together-and-now-we`re not. Why the hell would I need all the details?!? I don`t wanna know how much fun did you have, how was the sex, how you did it, where you did it, where you`ve been, on which places, which excursions, how she cooked, what she cooked, your funny stories, your romantic tales, how much did you loved her and she….

I don`t ask for it and I don`t want to hear it either. That is cruel. Why would anyone fill me with this informations? Or why would I do it to somebody else? It is a bygone, a past tense and that is a good condition. For us.

We are here now, you and I, and let`s try to do and give the best that we can. Here, now. I don`t want 300 ghosts which will hunt us. I don`t want orgies with all our ex-s, I want just us. We are interesting and loving enough.

When you are pushing them between us, you are not close to me. You are fencing, enclosuring and protecting yourself with them. Be here with me. Let it go.

There, I said it. To them too. To Boo Fighters – the ones that are fighting with scarrying the loved ones away. Don`t be one of them `cause the failure is guaranteed.