Tag Archive: joy


QueenThere was a time when she would wait for his call. The same call which would mean that He is on his way. His arrival was always something special: flowers in his hand, a nice dinner, lots of laughs, and pretty good sex. She loved the way he was looking at her with those deep brown eyes, always hiding a spark of something unsaid. He was polite, kind and thoughtful. And distant.

Yes, distant. At first, she was sure that it was just a result of physical distance. He lived in another city and they didn’t have the luxury of everyday things, like a simple afternoon stroll in the park. And she didn’t mind, not really, thinking that these are the perks of the long-distance relationship – every date and every weekend are special. But a year passed. Then another. Their third anniversary came so quickly that it surprised even her. But after four years, she found herself thinking. Will they ever be a normal couple?

She started noticing all those sometimes happy and sometimes miserable couples on the street. Especially the last ones. They were important because they had a privilege to get into a fight, to get bored with each other, to have to luxury of experiencing dirty socks tossed away on the bedroom floor. It made her restless. So she started to count – they were seeing each other twice a month, sometimes less, most of her nights were made of the lonely evenings in front of the TV and emptiness of her own bed, her friends were talking about their children or the quality of their dates… All in all, her list was sad. Empty. Like her.

They say that longing is a good thing only if it’s short. If it grows, it becomes a frustration. And that’s exactly how she felt, frustrated and disappointed. So next time when they met she started The Conversation. Trying to find out will they ever have a future in which they will occupy the same place and time. That time he didn’t answer. After two weeks, she tried again. And again. He was polite, but he always managed to avoid the answer. And then she had it. She got mad and asked him directly. And he finally gave her his stand – he felt that their thing was perfect. He didn’t have the need to make it “common”, as he underlined it.

She wasn’t shocked. Not even surprised. She wasn’t a little girl anymore. So she gave herself little time to think about how much is she afraid of loneliness. And it turned out that she wasn’t scared at all. How could she, after all, she was practically alone all those years. The decision was made, she called him and said what she had on her heart. Strangely, he was surprised. It turned out that it never occurred to him that she is not happy with their relationship. And they split. Oh, he called few times, he even came one evening holding roses in his hand, trying to convince her that their thing was special.

But she didn’t buy it. Actually, she felt deliberated. She realized that all those years she was carrying an anxious lump on her chest. That every evening in the front of her TV she was waiting for his call or even just a short text. Her time was her own. And it felt great. She felt great. Finally free. She wasn’t Miss Lonely Waiting, she became Liberty from the House of Solitude. The great large house where she was the ruler.

It’s been a year since the coronation. And she still feels the happiness of her independence in every second of every day. Maybe someday a prince will arrive. But then again, maybe it would be better if he didn’t. Her reign is strong and beautiful and now it would take a really special knight to fight for his place by her throne.

Because she deserves it, 175.

 

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Oh she looks fine! Not just for a 40 year old, I mean that she really looks great. No age considered. I, for example, didn`t have THAT body when I was 20 but she still has it. And she`s not missing to show it lately.

She has always been a true beauty, she knew it and because of it she never really had the need to act like an insecure 16 year old girl, that is stripping in every possible occasion and opportunity. Which made the Beauty`s sudden offence, with no recognizable tactic or detectable target, pretty fishy and strange.

And when I say offence, I mean daily photographic explosions on almost every social channel you can think of. Every day you will get a fresh delivery of her face, hair, different poses in swimming suit, mini skirts, tiny tops… Skin and curves everywhere. Oh, she is still sexy, but walking on a very thin line towards tacky.

The question is why? Why would a young-looking beautiful woman suddenly started to act like a cheap doubtful and scared teenager?

The answer is – try to merry a younger man and hit 40, that`s why.

There`s a big difference between a 35 year old sportive man and his 40 year old woman that gave birth to 2 kids. And the woman knows it. And she is not happy about it. Oh hell yes, she is still hot, but in the same time she is aware that they look different, and after 15 years of marriage he is not so keen to lavish her with compliments, seduction, passion and interest that he did in the beginning.

And she hit 40.

He didn`t, SHE did. And she just can`t stop thinking about it.

40 is a big number for women. So big that it may completely turn their lives away. Some of them fall, scared, lost and insecure making them negative, agressive and sad, no matter if they would admit it to themselves or not. And some of them actually bloom.

Why? Very simple, because they still have their looks but now they have the „brains“ too. With it, with the experience, knowledge and freedom of selfesteem, they can literally rule the world. Now, with the assets only a 40 year old woman has, it`s the perfect time to start something really big. And I mean REALLY big. The sky is the limit.

So, don`t let yourself down in middle age crisis, make it a blooming chatarsis.

Now you have everything, every little thing for every great thing you ever wanted to be and do. Go. Fly. Make yourself truly happy. And proud. Happiness is actually the sexiest thing in the world, no one can resist it.

(this doesn`t works for Benicio del Toro, he may be gloomy as hell and he would still be hot)

 

P.S. and look at yourself in the mirrow again, yeah you still got it. And damn you look good!

Because you deserve it, 99.

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OK, real life situation.

For me it`s definitely real because it`s my own.

 

The story goes like this.

There`s a garden, something more than 100 years ago it was a small park. You know, that old fashioned one, with a stone pool, a fountain, few palm trees… But until recently, it use to be just a small part of the green area in town, surrounded by stone walls and covered only with grass and weed.

 

Well, few weeks ago, I`ve decided to become a Green guerilla, and to plant there some vegetables. The soil was so damn hard, dry and almost lifeless (if you forget the weed) that I have literally worked my a… off to make it gentle and tender again. Oh, And how soft it is! Even our cats love to lay down there, turn on it and tap it with their little paws!

So I bought tomato, cucumber, carrot and lavender seeds, placed it with love and affection prepared for that warm feeling of growing green life to come. And it did.

Not so much for other, but tomatoes…. From one small bag of seeds, now I have more than 300 nice, aromatic tomato plants! Am I happy? Of course I am! 300!!! You can you imagine it! Bravo me and bravo tomatoes! What a team!

So what`s the problem? Well, for all this time I haven`t managed not even once to take the damn hose and water the bloody tomatoes!

I don`t know if you have tried it but actually it`s like a reward after all this work. You take the hose, this lovely gift of nature called water stars running and you feel…. so relaxed. And happy. Beautiful feeling.

But howcome the others have discovered it too, some how they always manage to do it before me. It`s incredible!

 

Yesterday I got up at 5 (yes five, can you bealive it?!?), had my coffee, bathroom ritual and off to the garden. After few hours, when the work was done and I was preparing to finally water it, there goes my mother with the hose! Aaaaaaaaaaaaa! OK, I realized now I really have a problem. So today I said, „Mom, at 5 pm I (and I have underlined that I) will water the garden“. You know what happened? At 16:45 she came to my door saying that she wants to feed the „poor cats, they must be starving“.

20 minutes later she was on my door again with „I fed the cats, and oh, I have watered the garden!“. Jesus Mary and… What a woman must do over here to water her own garden!

 

I have decided – I still don`t know how and when but I`m gonna take the hose into my own hands! Me, not others. No way Jose`!  The hose is mine!

 

P.S. I just remembered, maybe I should use, for those 300 plants, the approach „This is Spartaaaaaaaaa!“ line. Or „back off from the hose Jose`“. You never know. Or to take the hose and arange them a nice cold shower.

 

Because I deserve it, 44.