QueenThere was a time when she would wait for his call. The same call which would mean that He is on his way. His arrival was always something special: flowers in his hand, a nice dinner, lots of laughs, and pretty good sex. She loved the way he was looking at her with those deep brown eyes, always hiding a spark of something unsaid. He was polite, kind and thoughtful. And distant.

Yes, distant. At first, she was sure that it was just a result of physical distance. He lived in another city and they didn’t have the luxury of everyday things, like a simple afternoon stroll in the park. And she didn’t mind, not really, thinking that these are the perks of the long-distance relationship – every date and every weekend are special. But a year passed. Then another. Their third anniversary came so quickly that it surprised even her. But after four years, she found herself thinking. Will they ever be a normal couple?

She started noticing all those sometimes happy and sometimes miserable couples on the street. Especially the last ones. They were important because they had a privilege to get into a fight, to get bored with each other, to have to luxury of experiencing dirty socks tossed away on the bedroom floor. It made her restless. So she started to count – they were seeing each other twice a month, sometimes less, most of her nights were made of the lonely evenings in front of the TV and emptiness of her own bed, her friends were talking about their children or the quality of their dates… All in all, her list was sad. Empty. Like her.

They say that longing is a good thing only if it’s short. If it grows, it becomes a frustration. And that’s exactly how she felt, frustrated and disappointed. So next time when they met she started The Conversation. Trying to find out will they ever have a future in which they will occupy the same place and time. That time he didn’t answer. After two weeks, she tried again. And again. He was polite, but he always managed to avoid the answer. And then she had it. She got mad and asked him directly. And he finally gave her his stand – he felt that their thing was perfect. He didn’t have the need to make it “common”, as he underlined it.

She wasn’t shocked. Not even surprised. She wasn’t a little girl anymore. So she gave herself little time to think about how much is she afraid of loneliness. And it turned out that she wasn’t scared at all. How could she, after all, she was practically alone all those years. The decision was made, she called him and said what she had on her heart. Strangely, he was surprised. It turned out that it never occurred to him that she is not happy with their relationship. And they split. Oh, he called few times, he even came one evening holding roses in his hand, trying to convince her that their thing was special.

But she didn’t buy it. Actually, she felt deliberated. She realized that all those years she was carrying an anxious lump on her chest. That every evening in the front of her TV she was waiting for his call or even just a short text. Her time was her own. And it felt great. She felt great. Finally free. She wasn’t Miss Lonely Waiting, she became Liberty from the House of Solitude. The great large house where she was the ruler.

It’s been a year since the coronation. And she still feels the happiness of her independence in every second of every day. Maybe someday a prince will arrive. But then again, maybe it would be better if he didn’t. Her reign is strong and beautiful and now it would take a really special knight to fight for his place by her throne.

Because she deserves it, 175.

 

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