Tag Archive: girls


Are you single? Feeling ok with it? Good.

 

And what if one day you decide to share your beautiful world with someone and you find out that the competition is changed?

I am a big fan of singleism. Used to be one and really enjoyed it. And for that reason, I always defend someone`s choice to be single. Let`s face it – it is not always easy. You will be judged by your family (why can`t you find somebody nice and settle down?), by your married friends (the time is flying, you know, you can`t go on like this forever), your work colleagues (you think you`re something special?) and the public in general.

It takes cojones to be solo, to live by your own rules, to comfort and cheer yourself when rainy days come, to solve everyday dramas and always give 100% because you have to, because there is no other half who will do it for you. Not to mention that everything is more expensive, for you, single as you are.

But that kind of freedom, if you want it, worths every penny.

 

Now, let`s say that one day you decide that you are ready for sharing yourself with someone? (have a friend which uses this term, qouting „I want to share myself with someone“). Let`s say that now you are in your late 30s. You look younger than you are, having this bless because you haven`t given any birth, had all the time in the world for yourself and everything that comes with it.

What do you expect, who will be your competition on the market? Have you already prepared yourself to curse the 20 year old bimbos?

Well think again because the ones who you should be aiming are the socially praised married ones.

My best friend is actually „looking“ after 20 and something beautiful years of singleism….and surprise, suprise, her competition are actually married girls and women who go out a lot and somehow forget to mention that they are married. They flirt, sometimes push for something more juicier, sometime are in a relationship with single guys telling them how it is hard for them, that their best half doesn`t has any understanding for their needs, how much he is working, they are always alone, and blah, blah, blah…The dame in distress bulls…. You know the drill.

 

How do I fit in the story? Because one of my best friend`s „rivals“ turned out to be someone I know. Someone with who recently I had several discussions regarding this kind of life. My point of view is very simple – don`t do anything what you don`t want to be done to you. Cheating someone who is devoted to you, just because you are bored, is idiotic and cowardly. It takes COURAGE to enjoy the benefits of being single. Living under someone`s wing, lying, just that you may have a safe port after the exciting storm is … It makes you a pure zero.

If you want to have this kind of life, be honest and fair, and take the „single“ step. Yes, it is a big step, a complicated one, often hard, but it is the only right step you can do. That is if you have any respect for yourself and for other people.

 

To use the immortal wisdom of the Beastie Boys, you gotta fight for your right to party. Otherwise, you don`t deserve it and the others do not deserve all the c..p you`re pulling off either.. In fact, you are taking someone`s place on that thrill ride, so get up and move on.

There are people waiting in line here, so c`mon!:-p

 

Because we don`t deserve it, 39. (me for listening to this s… almost every day, those poor partners who still doesn`t suspect anything, the other sides which don`t expect to be deceived and used, and finally the single ones for taking their indentity, place and rights)

 

The hommage also goes to another friend which have boldly and fairly taken the single step, after 20 years of marriage. That`s to way to do it!

 

 

 

 

 

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I am having a serious conversation. With a 8 year old child. A girl, to be more precise. Which is stirred, not shaken. Anyhow, she would like to know something, but then again maybe she wouldn`t, maybe it would be better for her to don`t know….SPIT IT OUT KIDDO!!! – I go  sympathetically and tactfully. „Uhhhhhhhhh“, says the kid, „Aaaaaaahm… how the babies are made?“. Ha! So she got me thinking how to explain sex to a child without provocing any trauma with all that pushing, flexible holes, self-willing swelling parts and cetera. And all of the sudden, here it comes my Loving one with a book in his hands named „Sexual education for 7-9 year old children“. Gift from above….. And I will adore and kiss your steps, won`t take ever your name from my lips….Give it! Right now!

So, we discovered that the one who`s name we shall not speak (and it`s not Prince/sign or Voldemort) but the one we call Mhhhhhmmmmm-thingy, boys use primerly for peeing, Ha ha ha, he he he, silly boys. Then we discovered that boys and girls too, when they are little older, get hair down there. Uuuuhhhhgh, I don`t want hair there! (though luck kiddo, but even getting lost in the forest has it`s avails, just be careful not to evolve fauna with the flora). Then we passed on a sexual maturity, with her real question: „What are they selling in a sex shop?“. BOOM,  BANG,  BAM, WHAM….. Excuse me?!?!?!?!?….And there goes child innocently explaining that her and her little friend saw the other day one of these shops and they wanted to get in because they can`t figure out what things are actually offered in a such a place. Weeeeeell, hmmmmmmm, you seeeeee, I meaaaaaaan, the people buuuuuuy, ahmmmmmmm…that….pretty-underwear-and-other-things-which-now-would-be-very-boring-to-you-and-for-which-some-adults-think-they-should-buy-it-to-their-sweethearts-with-whom-they-make-love-to-love-each-other-even-more. HA! Next question, please! Quickly! (….son of the…how in the world do they know about the dildo?!?!?!?)

And the she hits me with the next one: why do we have to avoid the sun when we get the period? „. What?????? Who said that???? Her mamma told her, she says, and after it she also said that when they get their period girls must avoid sun at all costs because then they bleed twice as much so now she is wondering what she shoud do during the summer?

To hell with her dim uneducated mother! What kind of nonsense is this?!? No sweety, that ain`t right. You don`t have to hide in caves when you get your period, nothing bad is going to happen, mummy just didn`t get it right. „Oooooh“, she says, „ and can`t you tell me why boys don`t cry?“ And there goes an intervention again, of course they cry, every normal man cries when he feels bad, you know, just like us, when they are sad, angry, or both. Even daddy cries sometimes. And your adored cousin Paul. „But my mom told me that real men don`t cry, ever!“. That mom of yours is a walking idiot, I`m thinking…What else did your mamma say?  „Weeeeell“, she goes “mom said that girls which are changing boys are whores and the boys that are no good are fags.“

 

Can you bealive it!?! But the kid had more of it: that she has to dress „well“ when she is going to the beach because nobody mustn`t see her tities (which tities?!? You`re 8, about which tities are speaking about?!?) or her tush, God forbid (what that she has to wear on the beach, a raincoat?). Then she said that depilation is very painful, that you have to hide from everyone when you have your period…. Incredible. That narrow minded mother of hers will make a a sexually deviant person, like she is, which won`t be able to love herself, or her future partner, or be capable to enjoy sex freely. Because that is disgusting.  All that. Including all the male population.

Then we are speaking about some programmes against discriminations and prejudices. Then you can hear us complaining that men are disrespecting us. No, no, my dear, you got it all wrong. Women are doing it, mostly, raising new generations of frustrated idiots of both sexes which just can`t embrace something normal, like their own bodies, delights and sincere love, labeling it like general shame and sin. Incredible. In this time and age…

 

P.S. what that mother needs is a genuine kick with a mace. Maybe, just maybe, then she would understand how backward she really is and let her child grow up in a happy and satisfied person.

 

 

Like first, I`ve got to reveal a crucial information that for some idiotic virus I am spending my days laying, coughing, sneezing and driveling. And, I`m bored. I`m so bored that I tried watching ALL the channels trying to find something which will hold my interest for more than 7 seconds but so far nothing good came out of it. The delight of daily television is consisted of soap-trash from all part of the world, so that the only soap opera I haven`t found is the one about impossible love between a lovely girl from Uzbekistan towards a Kazahstanian shepard. Oh joy…

Anyway, I read the new book and decided that I don`t have anything better to do than to „travel“ through the web. And there….Oh revelation! I found a lovely little article from the group „How to be irresistibly sexy and drive the men completly wild“. Superb. Have you tried it yet? You haven`t? Oooooooh now it`s the perfect time! Go to the mirrow and experience these guaranteed advices. Maestro, drums please!

So, they say that the secret is in body language which you can easily learn. Once you master these skills, you will become the flirting guru followed by a mass of horny studs. Ready? Let`s do it.

 

  1. First you have to lean your head a little. (that will give you the impression of curiosity)
  2. Then you have to open your mouth and leave it that way (that will, so they say, create a truely sensual effect, but don`t exaggerate or you will look like you have facial paralysis)
  3. After that concentrate on your eyes – blink slowly, but even then don`t open it widely but keep your eyes half-opened (ok, here you risk to cry your eyes out, like you are a part of some bad military experiment but….anything for beauty, right?)
  4. To complete the impression, throw out your right hip and your left foot place forward simuntaniously turning your knee towards the inside (here be careful not to crash down and kiss the floor, trying to perform a triple axel because you will lose at least 10 points for the lack of elegance)

 

Theeeeeeeeeeere….

And now look yourself in the mirrow. Fantastic! You look like a true retard! THIS will guarantee you to drive any guy… away, as far as possible.

I just can`t help thinking that they are trying to idiotize us on every step. Including our sexual area.

And really, who is following these things?!? Anyone?

That`s why I seriously reccomend to avoid these „beneficient“ advices. Be who you really are. To paraphrase good old Hemingway – the secret of a charming and sexy woman is in the simple fact that she thinks that she is pretty. Whatever that beauty meant to her. At least then she is relaxed enough that she can think about sex at all and not on somebody`s distorted ideas. And they are twisted and distorted.

 

You are sexy. When you wake up, when you walk, when you talk, when you breath. Period.