Tag Archive: girlfriend


When we are small, making new friends comes as easy as breathing. We see the other kid playing and without any thinking we run towards it. And this is it – we have a new friend.

As the years pass by, they teach us what is decent, acceptable, desirable and what isn`t. With all that informations, and corrections, in our head we continue dashing through life.

Now let`s take a very common example: you are a woman in the best years of your life. You are not a small brat anymore and hell, you are miles away from becoming a biddy!  With great passion, you will claim to anyone that you just love people, going out and general mingling. But, you are lonely, very lonely. Most of your friends are married with children or in some other serious relationships with plenty of „time-eaters“. That`s why you`re nagging and whining how you don`t have anyone to go out with and your daily social coffee cups have become very, very rare.

So you are sighing.

It is sooooo hard.

To be alone like this. And you can`t stop yoursef „moaning“ to so called friends how they are neglecting you. For their important everyday „obligations“. Every now and then you shed a tear.

Poor little me. Sniff.

Nobody loves me. Sniff, sniff.

I am so…so..nice and I am all alone. Sniff, sniff, sniff.

IS THERE ANY LOVING IN THIS ROOM????? Booooohooohoooaaaaaa!!! Tears are dropping, saturating those cold, hostile walls of solitude.

Bollocks.

We have few very strong enemies and they are self-pity and laziness. That`s right. And don`t even try to use the „…but I`m not like that! I just…“. Yeah right…Cut the crap. Every now and then, all of us have been playing that role. And then we blamed everyone else. `Cause we are soooo great and the others can`t see it. Aha. Think again.

OK, people are connecting, bounding and linking. And after some time, they do things which are taking them in some other direction from yours. For that reason, they often leave from your mutual world, some physically and some emotionally. Which leaves you… Playing the martyr. Alone…miserable…left by everyone…with nobody around…

Well move your lazy butt! Look again. There are literally tons of good, high quality people with who you can mingle and become friends. But they need some effort too, you should offer a part of you. For crying out loud, even if you are the shyest creature in the galaxy, now in our time, we have like a zillion social networks – bless the internet, where you can meet so many people to blow your mind.

But company and familiarzing alludes interaction, giving-taking, listening, effort, thinking…a that present a Greek drama, does it? It is too hard probably.

Nothing has changed. You can still approach the other child, offer it a ball or a doll asking: „Wanna play with me?“. Because everyone has it`s favorite toy, material one, intelectual or emotional, which he/she can share with another person.

The main advantage is that you don`t have to yell like crazy under someone`s window asking: „Mrs.Jones, can Linda come out and play?“.

So take your best, your worst, all that makes you special as you are, and share it. Your future friends are tapping in expectation.

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For the last few days I`ve heard about several break ups.

Personally, I congratulate everyone on the occasion because that someone has learned something about himself, about relationships in general and because that someone has given himself a chance for a nice new beginning.

Good for you!

Pop that bottle!

But what about the ones who haven`t took anything from it?

And I don`t mean on I-got-the car-you-got-the-dog but on the personal upgrade. What about them? When someone tells you that his ex have cruely suddenly broke up something which he/she thought it was a certain thing and for no reason at all? Then, we usually presume that this cruel ex one has to be a total jerk/bitch and complete human trash. But is it really so?

Have a similar case, from few years time.

He called crying that She left him. Without any explanations at all, she just packed her things and slammed the door. How could she??? After all that time?!? After everything??? They were together for so long, everything was ok, they had plans…

And for that, all their friends have concluded that they are almost obligated to attach to the heartless girl about a dozen deragotary epithets. Nobody, only if it`s a total moron or have found somebody new, is leaving and breaking a good solid relationship for no reason at all.

And so, time flew by, and after few months I run into The Ex. We exchanged the usual How-re-you-how˙s-work-mother-dog phrases and then we went for a coffee. Wanting it or not, somehow we started to talk about her ex, formerly known as The Shocked and Left Behind For No Reason. And… she had something to say. And how!

Oh everything looked perfectly between them…. from the outside. But on the inside it was a different story.

After exchanging the big words in the beginning, everything got down to the fact that he wanted all attention and understanding in the world but in the same time not giving any. He have probably presumed that he took the territory and therefore he doesn`t have to try anymore.

If they had any plans, he would discharge them without any thought – if his friends would call for a drink he just grabbed the keys and left, because he knew that she will wait.

When they haven`t been intimate for weeks, for example, he didn`t worry about it. He had his own buzz at the time, for which he didn`t felt he had to explain it and for the fact that he doesn`t even treats her like a woman but as a relative – he didn`t bother. Didn`t have time for that now.

She will always be here, no matter what. He doesn`t have to compliment her – doh, she knows how she looks like, if he changed a plan that they made – how she can be mad, they will be together all their lives, there is always time….How she can get so pissed about it?!?

How? Because he haven`t won her on a lottery, he doesn`t owns her, so that he can dispose with her time, wishes and needs! She just won`t always be here this way..

So she left. She got tired explaining hundreds of times things that he won`t see or hear. Too much is too much. And she was gone. Bye bye!

Leaving him in shock and disbeleif. What a „bitch“! How could she?!?

The worst part is that he have never asked himself if He have done something wrong. So that he can actually learn something from it, that his next relationship wouldn`t end in the same way.

But noooooooooo, there he is now, in the fresh relationship, complaining again that his new partner is unreasonble. Even gets insulted if she, or somebody else, tells him something. He is perfect! He doesn`t cheat, beats her up, has serious intentions… what is her problem?!?

The problem is that he takes her for granted. Like he did before.

Which, by now, he had to learn. But he didn`t.

That way the break up would hurt him but after it he would rise as a new better man.

Not as a bitter spoiled creature, finding every excuse in the world to avoid the facing.

Not to the ex but to himself.

Now, we are all waiting how long will it take until the Present one decides she had enough.

The bets are open.

At least this way someone will get something from it!