Tag Archive: girl


Watching the tv last night. Jumping from channel to channel looking for something watchable. And there, on one of them, I saw a reality show with a 50-and-something woman jumping in front of the camera as a yorkshire terrier in front of a beaf can. Watched it for about a minute, felt sorry for her and changed the chanell.

But she got me thinking – how many of them do you know? The ones who are making a fool of themselves in certain years, playing the role of „if I feel like a teenager, then I probably am one“? Don`t get me wrong, I do bealive that we should be active and alive all our lives but some lines of good taste must be drawn.

And I don`t know who looks more silly doing it, men or women.

Female example: a mature lady, which desperatly wants to look as a teenager, shopping just the „goodies“ made for them and acting in the same way. You saw it, with the mini skirt, wearing a glittering t-shirt with the sign „sexy girl“, with the hair totally burned of peroxid and with 3 tons of make up on their face, usually with quite….interesting colours.

Usually very loud, giggles all the time, with a disturbingly happy expression on her face.

Or

Male example: „cool“ jeans, so tight that it really brings his ass in the spotlight, again a t-shirt with a „cool“ sign on it, Ray Ban glasses, wears a belonging neckless.

Also loud, checks ALL the girls on the street (from 15-45), usually throws a line to all of them, which is, according to him, very funny too. And yeah, he digs it all! (while the girl, on which he is drulling, looks at him with pity, poor granpa….)

Feeling pathetic anyone?

The thing that I don`t understand is if they truely bealive that this will pass? If this kind of man just doesn`t get it, that his targeted audience sees him as a silly, and often irittating, old fart? While the woman of the same model presents just a comical smeared halfing?

I know that it is „in“ to be young but the clock is ticking people. And everybody hears and sees it. And also, what happened to the old saying that every time brings it`s joy?

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How many times have you heard the phrase „life is now“?

What have you done about it?

The strange thing about people is that they somehow bealive that they will live forever. They sure act that they will! How do I mean, you ask? It`s simple – how many times lately, now be honest, have you refused to go somewhere, to do something, for stupid reasons like your favorite show on the tv, cleaning of your house, or for some deeper issues like fear or shame of something?

I don`t how about you but my guiding star was my neighbour.

At the time, my life was turning around work, after which I found thousands excuses not to go or to do all that I could. I was always tired, in a dull relationship, avoiding the tray of life beause or the offred event was not too interesting, or the presented acivity was too demanding, or something was too expensive, or even on some things I haven`t been present  `cause I was too cynical to admit that maybe I could have fun or learn something there.

But then one day I met my neighbour. She was in the middle of a wedding rush, preparing the big event with the guy she met 2 years ago. She was deeply in love and full of sparks. This is the guy that really suits her, she said, and she is happy as she can be! Oh she is having so much fun! They are constantly mingling around, going on theatre shows, movie shows, concerts, exhibits, lunches, dinners, parties, dancing clubs, at least once a week they are going on short trips in the area, they are taking romantic walks every single day no matter how`s the weather… And she loves it!

I was happy for her. I really was.

But some other thing bothered me – she made me feel stupid, lazy, limited, arogant and God knows what more!

Why? Because she was 77, that`s why!!!

Can you imaggine it? I, in my peak, was drowning in almost complete lack of activities, chronical discontent, picky to the highest level and always with a ready excuse why I won`t do something or go somewhere. Almost nothing was „my thing“.

Oh yes, we were „engaged“ too, but with work and those pityful goings out every weekend to our usual club (pour respectable amount of alcohol in urself and suffer the next day), 2 or 2 drinks after or coffee after work, or with spending the evening in front of tv. Ain`t life great? Aaaaaah!

And they, in their late 70s, both with the advancing arthritis, heart problems, and all those „lovely“ gifts given to them sincerly by their age, THEY were running around like 2 kids, with their eyes wide open and a smile on their faces, enjoying every sound, taste, sight, wondering around on every meadow they saw and steping in every fresh river they could.

And me… I was… I realized I was hopeless like a Somalian trading policy!

Boring?!? What is „boring“? Complete lazyness, that`s what it is! A total and shameful resistance to every idea, change or activity!

They were not old, I was!!!

I was the senior citizien, not them, I was completly and comprehensively geriatrisited!

I had two choices: or to wait the retirement, hoping to be as vivid as she is, or to move my lazy selfish ass and start living as I should.

I chosed the second solution. After all, who knows what will happen in another 40-50 years..

`Cause this today`s pensioners are not like they used to be. They are some ****** competition!

Got a call last night. On the other side of the line was a familar and dear female creature with a lot of excitment in her voice, saying: „Wooooooooooooow honey, I met a Lovely! It was… unreal. You have to see him… I`ve almost died, he`s…. Ah! Soooooooo  hot!!!“.

The classical definition of a Lovely is: a man, late 30s or early 40s, charming, well preserved, with magnetic attraction, painfully hot, has all hair which is greyish on the sides.

So she asked if I`m online and if I could Google him. (A classical stalker approach.) She said his name and Google revealed a well known intelectual. Just as an info, her last One was an old, chubby, cranky, boldy…something so now I expected something really good.

Her next line was: „Find his photo! There must be a photo!“.

So I did, sincerly hoping to see this:

In stead of it I got…  Noooooooo…. Can`t be…. This just can`t be it…..Is this a joke?….Damn!!!

Jesus Mary and… ! And again, damn woman!!! What the….?!?

The guy is over 50, maybe even older. In stead of the hair, he`s got few white….fluffy… bushes which are struting on his shiny bald spots, to be precise – every 15 inches you find a grmičak followed by an airport run… And his face, pure pedophile. You know, chubby and wrinkled, with a pretty disturbing smile. Short, chubby, all lard and swing.

And again, damn!

Then she asked: „Isn`t he georgious????“ – and I… I couldn`t speak.

I couldn`t because THAT was one of the ugliest creatures I ever saw! 100% sleezy.

So I kept my mouth shot in disbelief, trying to recuperate, while she was sighing. And smiling. And giggling. And sighing again.

And I finally said…. `Cause….This is… This…is… I mean was….Well…

Woman, are you feeling alright? That fever that you`re mentioning, have you been eating something strange today? Or perhaps you started to use some drugs? Helooooooo? Anyone?

Like first, he`s surely more than 20 years older from you! Probably more. Secondly, if you like older men, at least choose something really sexy and attractive! You call this hot?!? THIS couldn`t be loved not even by his own mother!

There are some really hot examples of the Lovely but this… He looks like someone`s horny uncle!

And why you need older men anyway? What`s wrong with your father? Why do you need two?!? And for crying out loud, why, oh why they have to be so ugly??? You`re young, attractive, educated and funny, you can choose amongst an army of goodlooking guys!

And no, here you can`t use the phrase „Beauty is a realtive thing“. This is not relative, this is completly and totally old, ugly and sleezy.

When they say Oldie and goldie, they don`t reffer to that.

There must be a fault in the evolutional code. Some nasty mistake which pushes the Beauties towards the arms of geriatric Beasts. So that they could push them back (or their wheels) towards infinity.

And I must say, I understand the Oldies, we all like the spring,  but what`s with the Spring roses? Were their fathers so cold and distant that they keep searching for that love forever?

And what when Spring roses get older, then what? How to teach them to give themselves all the love they missed?

Surely not through some dry wrinkled hands.