Tag Archive: fuck


Damn Facebook. Beside all those silly informations that you get, like when someone woke up today, what did he/she have for lunch, I must also find out who is badly missing sex. Like I care. Like anyone does.

…but thinking about the known and unknown which publish on their wall things like „ha ha ha if only someone would do me“ or „I can`t wait to get it“, besides the gastrointestinal troubles, it have brought me straight down to some other fact: that types like that are actually rarely getting any.

The brief – excessive verbalism of sexuality leads to it`s exclusion.

Statement of grounds – some women, and men,when they hit their middle age (which come galopping, by the way) become insecure and for that reason they reach for extreme vulgarity when expressing sexuality.

Practical example: few years ago, I was working with an hm…lady (?!?), ok woman, for  which I still occasionally blush when I think of her. From that whole on her face called mouth were flying out such vulgarities that I, intonating I, was left speachless. And it`s not like I don`t swear. But with her I was feeling like a 13 year old girl which vexedly observes how her tities grow. You know the feeling.

Anyway, her expressions like „bite my c**t“ were actually very balmy and civilized from her point of view…And it`s not just the matter of personal culture of behavior. When you mix it with the feeling of reduced attraction to the opposite sex, you get a devastating cocktail that can be swallowed only by truck drivers.

The interesting thing is that the same type is often nagging how the opposite sex is, quoting „f***** up, they will only **** you then leave you“. Hm…oh really? What the hell did you expect?!? For crying out load, what were you thinking? And I don`t want hear those grand  speaches about emancipation, freedom and equality. It is simple, when you start with the conversation with „Sooooooo…who big it is?“ don`t expect that he will talk about his mother`s cookies and the height of the hedge of your future house!

Also, if you try this with the regular Joe and he backs off, or runs away, that doesn`t means that he is „totally gay“ because he doesn`t want to have anything with you again.

Get it already: if you act trashy, this is exactly how he is going to respond – he will dump you. Plain and simple.

 

The person for which I`m writting this didn`t have sex for some time now. Long time. She is in her late 30s, educated, quite attractive but she is always using sexual allusions talking to a man. The thing is that even if she gets a positive response, it is always coming from some neanderthal which is convinced to be the greatest stud who ever walked on Earth and functions by the laws of the Holy trinity: F******-Gorging-Sleeping.  And that, she doesn`t want. So deduces that all men are scum.

The thing that is missing to these women is simple: men WOULD. Fact of life. And because of it, there is no need to use that kind of amount of sex in the conversation. Playing cat and mouse can be more erotic, especially if you want something more.

But if you don`t – then don`t play around with the „Ho ho ho“ messages like a drunk Santa but take him by the hand and **** his brains out. And during THAT action THEN talk dirty to him. Knock yourself out!

Otherwise, zip it. To use the immortal words of Elvis – you ain`t nothin but a hound dog, cryin all the time.

That will do (you, him and the whole situation).

 

Because you deserve it, volume 24.

 

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Dear Dr.Ruth,

watched a movie the other day. About a female loving. I am quite a liberal type who honestly thinks that anything goes until both persons are fine and agree with it. The words „dirty“ and „kinky“ are written on the bonny and inspirational part of my dictionary.

Anyhow, watching 2 female entities falling in love and loving in general. They are lying in bed. She 1 under and She 2 above her. A classical missionary position. And they feel fine. They are both moaning. The She 2, which is above, seems to be pretty busy. She is nailing. The penetrator. At least that is how it looked like.

Considering that I am a woman, I don`t see anything disgusting or odd in it. I really don`t bother myself with questioning about my womanhood, or with the fear of it, like the Enemy. THEY are spending their whole lives in constant insecurity, wondering if they are men enough, for which they become very intimidated by the love of the same sex. And we…We are fine. No dilemmas. We are 100% women and that we will be forever.

The way I picture a female sex, it is a very sensual thing. There are really lots of things to touch, grab, stroke, pet, lick…

But what after it? It all looks like a truely fantastic foreplay. Very hot, very exciting, very horny. And when you are aroused like that, the only thing you have on your mind is to get it. To take it in you. The quicker the better. NOOOOOOOOOW. I do bealive that out there, some women bealive that foreplay is actually the best thing in sex, but I get incredibly horny and in that moment I want it. This is why I am here. Give it. Now.

And for that reason, watching the movie, I`ve pictured myself in that role. I am apt to trying other`s shoes and jumping out the closet, trying to know how is it for somebody else. So I am sitting there and trying to imagine how it feels. Then I stopped. And now what?

In the respective situation mentioned above, on the edge of the mind and orgasm, the only thing that I would want is the Organ. Which is….missing in action. Not there. I`m raising the sheets, peeking under bed, tumbling pillows and blankets hoping to find it and finally get it! But there is none. What the fuck?!? Literally!

The only thing that comes in mind is that She 2 will come up, or even better come in, with a dildo. That soothes me for a while, but then again, I want the real thing. Which is not there.

And there I find myself disappointed. For not getting it. No cookie for me. A-a. Technically, yes, someone was eating, but that was not what I ordered! Check, please!

There I decided that this was not for me.

Yes, I was touched by the tenderness, profundity and understanding in their love, but what is a relationship without good sex?

So there, dear Dr.Ruth, I must admit…there will never be a good lesbian out of me. Or in me, in a matter of (s)peaking.

Somewhere, behind the 7 seas, there`s a guy, tall, blond (ah, with the colour of golden honey which pastes to the soul….),  very fit with the proper 6 pack instead of a beer sack (standad male package), an artistic soul (he claims ardently)…

So one day he meets a female entity, she blinks and sighs, and he stares into distance worryingly, probably for the spiritual state and the level of evolution of all the creatures from his yokel birthplace to Andromeda.

So he grabs her hand and takes her, with a promise of a stormy summer dusk on his lips. But alas!

A cardinal element of the story: scenography

The rest of the apartment was ok, if we ignore his impressionist reach sparsed all over the flat but… then they got to the bedroom. Yeah. Well…

The bed was located in the middle of a semicircular gap in the room, which wouldn`t be strange if there wasn`t one detail: on some 20 cm from the bed were narrow mirrors attached to the wall. Which wasn`t there presenting the hommage to 80s  but as a architectonic detail of  a very important role.

Foreplay:

He stripped and started with a performance: observe my biceps, then look at my triceps, then of course the quadriceps, watch the line on my back when I stand like this… and so for 15 minutes. God all mighty!

The female entitiy lays on the bed and waits.

Act:

And then he jumped. I shit you not. And nailed it. Flying.And started to plough.

Style: pneumatic drill.

Clasification of the fucker: banger (forwards the porn on full-action-hero part, memorizes the rythm-bang bang, proudly uses it in real life, the rest of the porn ignores- the pose, the girl, the place….

Sound background:

She sighs, moans (giving her best). But he is the star of the evening. The script is written just for him. And then he started to shine.

He: „I fuck you like a champ!“

She: „Oh!“

He: „You`re feeling so goooooooood!“

She: „Ah!“

He: „I am fantastic!“

She: „Mmm…“

He: „Nobody fucked you like this before!“

She: „Oooooh!“

He: „I am so hot!“

She: „Ha?“

Then she opens her eyes and looks at him. But he, he is not looking at her but in those mirrows above the bed, right above her head! He is looking at himself! His face and expressions. Not their action but his „lovely“ eyes. And cheers!

There the entity started to grab his attention. Like „helloooooooooooo, I am here, anyone?“. But nothiiiiiiiiiiiing. The guy is so self absorbed that he even doesn`t notice her.

And he proceeded with „I fuck you so good, nobody fucked you so good before, blah blah…..“. And like this for 2 fucking hours! No pauses, no slowing down, changing the rythm, or at least some silence for crying loud! Without this eulogies and odes to himself.

Post coitus:

He cums, gets up, goes to the big mirrow and stars to buckle in front of it and to marvel to his biceps for next 15 minutes. Without even looking at her.

 Now that is a classical idiot!