Tag Archive: flirt


Severely attacked (and insulted) by a nasty cold. Howcome the daytime television become a synonym for stupidity, I had nothing better to do than to surf upon all grand and small waves of the web. Uuuuuuh and goes what I found – one of the chick sites with all the „guaranteed, bonified and verified“ advices for, quoting „How to drive a man wild“.

Read it, done it and had fun.

So I advice you to do the same, just follow these few simple steps. Ready?

 1.  First lean your head a little to one side (that will, so thay say, send a signal that you are interested)

2, Then open your mouth a little and stay that way (don`t over do it otherwise you`ll look like you have a facial paralises, really don`t want that)

3. Ater that you have to concentrate on your eyes – you have to blink slooooowly but don`t you dare closing it, just leave them half-opened (here you are taking a risk to cry your eyes out like you are involved in some strange new military experiment, but hey – you do want to look sexy, don`t you?)

4. To bring the new look to perfection, throw one hip to the right and your left leg to the front, while in the same time you have to turn your knee towards your right (just be careful not to crash down to the floor otherwise Paula Abdul will spit on you like a llama on a unsuspecting child for the lack of elegance, and you reaaally don`t what THAT)

There.

Done it?

Now look yourself in the mirrow. Fantastic, isn`t it? You look like a real retard! THIS will guarantee you to drive every man wild. The only problem is that he will run wild too, but in the other direction from where you`re standing. But then again, hey you can`t have it all!

Like we have agreed before the secret of the sex appeal is…..to be yourself. Relaxed yourself. I mean, how in the hell you may even think of sex when you are concentrated on your body trying to perform some strange mixture of Jiu-Jitsu, Swan Lake and Thriller dance?!?

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That was the exact messagge that a friend of mine got to her cell the other day. Incredible but true. It`s poetic and sensitive author is still unknown. Fortunatelly. Hoping that he will remain the mistery…Unbealivable.

We loughed about it but then the other friend asked „No really, why is it so complicated? You know, to get some.“. Hm… Actually,  it IS complicated.

For example, watching and the listening the frustration of one of my she-buddies last Saturday, let`s call her Maya, that „light sex“ is a highly complicated operation which requires several years of trainning and a master`s degree. Anyway, Maya discovered a guy close to the bar.  At first he was standing alone but after some 10 minutes or so, he was granted with a female company. Which was his…friend? Girlfriend? Wife? Sister? Neighbour? Cousin?!?!? Hell, she could be anything! She was leaning on him every now and then, but we weren`t sure if it was for the loud music, affection or for something completly different. So, Maya started to observe his body language. He was…he was…looking at her, every now and then, but most of the time he was staring into a nice small spot in the wall. Is he shy? Not interested? Gay? Drunk? Or just stupid?!?

Wanna know how the epopee finished? After almost two hours of blinking, dashing, smiling and God-knows-what, she gave up. Walked away mad as a dog.

What she was supposed to do, she asked, send a memo?!?

It would be much easier if we could just sniff each other`s butt, like dogs,  and automaticaly know – in or out. Like me or like me not. Some time ago, one company have actually started to sell parfumes with pheromones convincing the people that it really works. According to them, all you have to do is just to spray yourself with it and you will get them all. Opposite sex, same sex, dogs, flies, giraffes and penguins. No matter how you look, if you`re dumb as a log, irritating as a brasilian killer bee, with pheromon spray everything is easy peasy. Which turned out to be total bullshit. Obviesly.

But sex is a powerful marketing agent, it can sell you almost anything. Making you forget one simple thing – it`s about you. And how much, and if, another person is attracted to you.

If somebody is into you, he will show it. He may be shy, he may be totally gooffy, the one that trips and falls every 5 minutes, he may be cocky, arrogant and selfabsord, but he or she will show it. He or she will find the way. And you will know it. There is no room for doubts.