Tag Archive: fall in love


Isn`t it beautiful when people fall in love? You remember, the butterflies in your stomach, the sparkling energy which you generate like a smaller nuclear plant, the joy you want to share with the whole world. And of course, the changes you make to yourself – taking more care of your appearance and even polishing your little possible flaws. You know, like saying you absolutely love how your chosen one enjoys football. Everything just to be more likable to the object of your infatuation.

And like they say, it is all fair in love and war. Well, at least until that love really grows into a war.

Robert was a fairly reasonable guy, but 10 years ago he met Diane and deeply fell in love. The feeling was so strong that he couldn`t wait to marry her. She was the one, the perfect one for him. So only 5 months after, they organized a small ceremony and exchanged the rings in front of the family and close friends.

But what Robert didn`t expect is that his loving Diane has also brushed her character flaws and interests. Just like he did in the beginning. Time was passing by slowly, discovering how different they really were. He really enjoyed in martial arts, becoming a real sensei as the years passed by, and she hated the physical activity so much that his enthusiasm made her hate herself. He enjoyed literacy so much that he started to write himself, while she spent her time watching the soap operas every afternoon. Robert adores children and started to feel quite unhappy realizing that Diane wouldn`t even think of having them. While his spiritual side is something he cares about, Robert led his life just trying to be a good person, but without visiting the God`s house. Diane, on the other side, found that she liked going to church a few times a week. And resented him for not going with her. The list goes on and on.

So they decided to split. For good. Before the hate becomes their only mutual connection.
All this time, the whole 10 years, Robert hasn`t said a single ugly word about Diane or their life. Not to her, not to anyone else. His parents thought him that being a good man means also to be kind and civilized and to always defend your family. And for long ten years, Diane was his family.
A month ago, my phone rung. I answered and heard:

„I did it! I finally did it!”, Robert yelled on the other side. „The marriage is over, we signed the papers and I said it!”

„Said what?”, I asked, completely confused.

„I said: Diane, %#& you! Did you hear? %#& you, Diane!”, he shouted.

„Ahm, I`m sorry, what? What`s the big deal?”

„Because now I can finally say what I feel!”

As it turned out, through all those long years, he never came even close to say what he really thinks or feels. He didn`t allow himself to do it. When I asked why he kept quiet, he said that it wasn`t appropriate. To swear in front of his own wife. Because, according to him, he didn`t want to hurt her feelings. Like the divorce wouldn`t.

We are talking about the freedom of speech, but forget to take that right in our own intimate universes. It is important to say it, to express our feelings and elaborate our stands. Even if it`s a bad and ugly word.

So take that right. Say it. Just let it out. Maybe it`s not appropriate all the time, but sometimes that one word means freedom. For your close ones and for yourself. And maybe that ugly word will give the future to your whole life story.

Because you deserve it, dammit, vol.197.

from the bottom of the heart

 

 

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Female post

This is a female post.

Post for women.

So I would reccomend to all the guys just to leave and not bother with it.

The Almighty knows that I don`t fall for brands. I`m just not touched by all this grand names.

I know that lots of woman save, starve and doing whatever they can, just to get that dark piece of signatured desire. Because they want it. They want it bad. I presume that then, that fabulous piece, represents the compensation for something far more expensive, like selfconfidence or sometimes even love. Just to get that feeling…

But, how it usually goes, when you are not sighing and trembeling about something, that something simply walks into your life. Without any stress. And so, day before yesterday, a red Dior bag walked into my life. A very beautiful red Dior bag. It was given to me, I said thank you, took it and left.  When we were left alone, the bag and me, I looked at it more carefully. A very simple design, the way I like it, but fantasticly red. And it`s mine.

Considering that at the moment I really didn`t have a clue where am I going to take it, I`ve just  drop it on the dresser. And then we looked at each other for a while. The bag and me…

She, so joyful and playful, tipically French, with that joie the vivre sparkling from her, just stands there observing me with glee, asking „where will we go, the two of us?“ with the inevitable giggling. I am sitting on the armchair, returing her the look and smiling gracefully, just how you should with fine ladies, and answering her that I don`t know. Because I really don`t. Don`t have a clue.

And then I discovered something else – that I feel like a highlander in her presence.As a lumberjack, to be more precised. I do because, in the past few months, I have totally neglected my female appearing dimension.

The external, easy fixing, high heel-make-uping, shining, colorful, sexy, seducing dimension. The one with mandatory dressing up from at least half an hour of carefuly picking clothes, make up and shoes. I have replaced it with I`m-in-a-hurry-give-something-practical-and-comfortable dimension.

How it happened? You know, first I`ve decided not to buy any new clothes for a while because my closets are already bursting from it, then I got so many engagements for which that dressed up look it`s just not practical, so I`ve just pushed the fine pieces at the back and placed the comfortable clothes at the front. Easy peasy.

So I`ve post-poned the good looks for some other times. Left my feminality in post tense.

And I must say that I did almost fanatically. Because it is really not important that I look good when I have so many things to do! OK, I don`t wear flanel without the bra and I don`t wear sweat pants but I definitively don`t look raveshing.

But it is important. For a woman. To feel sexy. To dress up, look herself in the mirror and loves what she sees. To feel like a fine expensive artwork.

And now I know why that wonderful red thing came  into my life – to wake me up. With that shiny red colour. On it`s gentle non-verbal way, it touched that unfailing point of femininity. And brought a sanguinel playful breath of personal pampering and caring.

Love. The word is love.

Because I`m here. In all dimensions.

Also as a fine dressed up babe who looks herself pleased in the mirror.

Because I deserve it, vol.3.