Tag Archive: divorce


„I red about it recently, it`s called financial mobbing!“ – she said and I just couldn`t help agreeing. Not in the name of the feminine solidarity but because of the simple human sympathy.

As we all know it, things are far from fine. OK, we`re still in the middle of the crisis, no matter what they say. People are afraid of losing their jobs, everyone are up to their noses in debts and loans, the costs and expenses are rising and when you pay all the sxxt you`re suppose to you may say you can barely buy the food. And what my favorite aunt says, the man is a hunter, he is inborn with a social role of the family provider. And when he is not capable to do it as he should on the required level – he suffers. Sure, but how, in which way he will express it – that is a completely other topic.

Hear, hear!

He watches closely, on daily basis, how, where and on what she spends every cent. They are not going anywhere, not even visiting their friends, because he always says no. But the fights about the money are taking place every day in every occasion for almost every single thing. In the same time, he insists to check every bill and receipt she ever paid, he daily checks her and his account, just in case she may spend on something they don`t really need.

Where are they now? Huh, everyday arguments, fights, groans, sighs, snorts, grumble, shouting, and the worst of all they came to long loathing silences. Hard, right? She says that she tries to explain that life is full of ups and downs, that she remembers when her parents had it, that is will pass, that`s just life but he won`t listen.

So what she does? Well, at this point, for her little needs, she is trying to avoid using the credit card, that in every opportunity she gets, hides a buck or two every day, and even if she buys something to herself, like a face cream, she hides it somewhere in the house, sometimes even in their child`s toys. For the new shoes she bought she said it was a gift from her mother. I mean the woman is tricking and jilting that much that she feels like a crock or at least a secret agent in her own house! So for that reason, she is thinking about leaving him.

What about their intimacy? None. Zip. Zero. And I mean not a trace, like looking for a decent meal in a vegan restaurant. Sex? She doesn`t remembers when something even close happened last time. And how will she? Seriously, who sleeps with it`s enemy? They keep each other on the shooting line from the time they wake up until they are asleep. She doesn`t feels like it. He doesn`t understands.

Really? Can`t figure it out why? OK, let me explain, from a woman`s perspective. This kind of fascist patronizing behavior is sending only one message – that she is an idiot, a small irresponsible child for which someone else has to bring the decisions because she is simply not capable for it. And then after such a humiliating treatment you expect the reimbursement of anything and even physical love? Really? How interesting. Wake up ego-khan, trust me, it ain`t gonna happen! Respect is a two-way street, same as the appreciation. She is not a moron, or your child, or your property. Capisce?

You can often hear how people are simply disgust by just a mention that somebody have actually paid for sex with a prostitute. They got married but didn`t properly understood that you have to earn your wife`s love. You never ever take her for granted.

So, if you are asking are you paying for sex the answer is affirmative – yes you are. Always. The thing is that it is not always with money. There are actually only few things that woman needs to be felt loved and to return that love with huge interests. Just three words with the most powerful meaning and remember them well – respect, attention, trust.

And now go, run as your feet carry you to show it!

Because we deserve it, 176.

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Happy end

Discontetment has been long. Actually, almost from the beginning. As soon as that initial passion has disappeared , it`s place was taken by the frustration and the feeling of a huge mistake. But there were the children, and the decency, for which those real, sincere and thrutful words were never spoken.

So it lasted for years. Until one lovely Christmass and a carefully prepared dinner. The guests came around 8 that evening, at 8:30 the dinner was served and suddenly at 9 the phone rung. The wife have picked up and… Well, well, well, on the other side she heard her husband`s mistress. Ha!

The wife have given the phone to the husband and waited patiently until the conversation was finished. Then he asked: „What now?“ and the wife calmly responded „Nothing. Now we are going back to our guests and finish the dinner like civilized people. After it, be so kind to pack up your things and leave. And I mean tonight, please. I don`t know and I am not interested where you are going to go. Shall we?“…..

So, the guests left at midnight. He have, still not bealiving, packed his things, stepped out of the house, entered into the car and sitting there for at least half on hour. For crying out loud, I mean really – where should go the one which is leaving his home and family on the Christmass eve?!? In the middle of the night?!? Really!

And her? Well…First she sat down in the kitchen and made herself a cup of coffee. The sipped it slowly, carefully placing all the fresh received puzzles in her head. And then, she have suddenly jumped on her feet and opened a bottle of wine. Hey, it`s finished! It is really over! No more! No more of him, of anguish, misery and the frustration. She should thank the Allmighty that his lover actually called tonight. OK, maybe it is a little peskily, it is Christmass, but still…. Freedom, choice, relief…Finally!

The woman has been partying till the dawn.

 

And there I am, listening the story and hardly bealiving. But I have no choice because the same thing has been told by the Finally-deliberated-wife and her daughter. „And, have you ever regretted?“ – I ask politely. „Not a chance!“ – she says, „from that  day 23 years have passed. 23 years of pure bless and happiness!“. I`m sitting silently, thinking about it and then the „kid“, which now is in her mid 30s, starts to lough – „From that day, mom is a completly new woman. And we are all feeling better.“. To hell with it, I just can stop and I must ask: „Did she really celebrated?“. The „Kid“ bursts into loughter again- „Celebrated? She was singing until 6 a.m.!“.

What about him’“ – I bodger, „what happened to him?“. The Finally-deliberated sighs and says: „Aaaaah…poor guy. I`m afraid he is not at the top for years now. Soon after that…hap, the things between him and his…girlfriend have finished, to be more precise – she left him. His carieer has gone down the drain, every now and then he finds some short-term work and this is it. Oh, he comes by, every now and then, asking for a buck or few, and leaves.“

 

There. Just to be able to say that being bored on somebody`s wedding and stuck with the people I don`t know isn`t always a  drag. You may hear incredible stories. Thinking about it, that awful divorce may bring a true Renaissance. It starts like a Greek tragedy but it finishes as a pastourelle.

 

Because sometimes you do get what you deserve, 23.

Aaaaaaah! There we go, this is life! Laying on the couch after a hard day`s work, light lunch and with a medium size of ice-cream box. The sun is still out and hot, the birds and the bees are feeling lazy but then again I am too.

Then, all of the sudden, I`m startled by a screaming children jamboree from the street:

Little girl 1 screaming: „Never!!! You will never see the child again! Do you get that???“

Little girl 2 yelling: „Don`t even think about it! Give it to me!!!“

Little girl 1 returns: „When I get back, I want ALL your stuff to disappear! Don`t want to see  your face ever again!!!“

Little girl 2 furiously: „Oh really! This is my house and my kid! And I`m not leaving anywhere!“

Little girl 1 explodes: „Get out of my face! I hate you!!!“

(..and then I hear a boom, than a bam followed by some strange squall and another loud bam)

Little girls 2 not bealiving: „Let me go! What are you doing?!?!?…Leave the child!!!!“

Little girl 1 in complete desperation: „ Nooooooooo! You can`t have it! It is mine!!!!!

Little girls 3, weakly: „Ahm…aaah…listen… I`m going home, may arms and legs hurt …See ya….“

What the hell?!?… – I`m asking politely the Little girl 3, the youngest among them. The kid looks at me with her last ounce of strenght and says that they are playing the divorce game….Excuse me???? You are playing what?!? Divorce? How do you mean divorce, what kind of game is this?!?

And here I have the child explaining me, The-ooooold-out-of-everything-cool-and-awesome-ignoramus, your`s truly, how the game goes:

–         Little girl 1 is the mother which have decided to get a divorce, the child, the house and the whole package;

–         Little girl 2 is the father who wants the child, house, and everything else too;

–         Little girl 3 is their child who`s been for the last 15 minutes literally dragged and stretched from the two belligerent sides, then thrown into a car, which all have blessed her with several bruises, joint pains and the ephemeral hearing problems…

Hm…Then I ask the child how in the world they have come up to the idea to play the divorce game and the child answers „We saw it in a soap!“ Aaaaaah, there you go! And we are nagging that the today`s youth can`t learn anything from staring into the tv box! Mea culpa, I whisper, returning into the well deserved isolation…

 

So…From my perspective, I can see that we are developing a complete new generaton which have already adopted a new standard of communication. The kids have learned what is normal and expected in the situations like divorce, relationships and the matters of a heart in general. If you don`t scream, threat or hurt somebody – this is just not it. Being civilized and respectful is just not the way.

A short one : turn of the tv! Let the children out, give them a good book, or at least change the channel to something which will broaden their horizons, knowledge, positive imagination and emotional freedom.

This one goes for the big ones, too. And don`t cheat! Give yourself something good, something priceless like…like your life with all the goodies to make you a even better, smarter and, by all means, a healthier person.