Tag Archive: church


I drag myself home. Eat something, gracefully lay on the couch and take the remote. A nirvana. For about whole 8 minutes.

Suddenly, someone starts buzzing on my door bell like crazy, simultaneously beating on it: ding-dong, ding-dong, boom-boom, boom-boom, ding-dong…! I jump up, and 3 seconds later the alarming condition starts again: that someone is beating on my door, not moving it`s finger from the door bell. What the…? What is going on? Is it a fire, have the war started, what is it for crying out loud??? I`m yelling „juuust a minute“ while the pandemonium continues.

I opened the door to find a pissed off battle tank! A lady, with the size of a wardrobe closet, with an agressive attitude and interesting look (I almost shit my pants form it), starts waving in front of my face with a piece of paper. Blah, blah, she is selling catholic calenders, she says. Correction – selling is an affable offer of the product, which you can or don`t buy. This was…this was…unbealievable!

I try to explain that I don`t want it, not my cup of tea, I lie impiously saying that my neighbour is an active member of the church and that I already have those…

But, the battle tank is not giving up. Grand as the Faith itself. She is on the mission. She stands there, with that incredible look, fixiting me. Not moving. Not for an inch.

We stand there in silence. Not saying a word. I am waiting for her to give up, and she is waiting for my next move.

After 2 or 3 minutes of speachless staring I try to say something, but in the same second she starts reapeting her respected lines: „These are the catholic calenders, made by our beloved catholic church…“. Damn woman! I have a date with a couch and the tv! What, are we going to stand here all afternoon, gaping like idiots?!?

Then I had it. I asked her how much, she said her price, I cashed it out and amen! You may go in peace sister. Godspeed.

What happened to those kind old ladies which have caressingly offered the calenders, admonishing on charity and other tender things, which made you feel…warm around your heart?

This one could easily be recruted by the Opus Dei!

I should have known better. Few years ago, I was debating for half an hour with couple of Jehova Witnesses, again on my doorstep. With no result. It`s like they are programmed not to be fluctuated by anything they could hear or see until they get what they want. Take no prisoners.

Anyhow, if someone needs a calender, just let me know. Have a small-fit-in-the-wallet one and grand-centre-of-the-living-room-wall versions. And it`s not like I`m going to use it anytime soon, the memories from the last skirmish are still too fresh.;-)

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In the last few years, every day, literally every day, on various websites and magazines, you will find a title with a imbecil intimate statement from a „celebrity“.

I dream about doing it 7 times a day“ or „I did it in all the states“ or „I just loooove to take it behind!“…… And? Who cares?!?

Like that, it can also stand: „I`m incredible dumb, my IQ is around 25, I can`t act, I sing like a one year old donkey, I dance like a Baboon, so that`s why I wil show you my tits!  And I will be super!!!“ Right. But of course.

Sex sales.

Till when?

We are so bombed with other`s sexual preferences and their desire for any kind of attention, that the whole thing is so worthless that it have become dull. Absolutely boring.

Nothing can shock us anymore. We don`t have erotic any more, we don`t even have that fine line which separates teasing of immagination, which arouses and stimulate to action, from today`s serving of sexual package from the microwave. There is no effort, no value, no interest. Only cheapness. Which doesn`t lasts. And causes only dullness and lazyness.

What I`m trying to say is that with this they are making us stupid. And insensitive.Very much. And paradoxically, from all that pushing of sex towards us, we are loosing our interest to it.

Sex is in the head. A sexual fantasy is a impulse to action. But if we get it all ready, cooked and baked, right to the table, and already consumed – we lose are interest for it after few minutes. And we move on. To something more interesting.

The church is really not my game but I must admit that in the past the church have done more for that kind of pleasure from all the provocative liberal media. Because, back then, the sex was half-hidden, cloacked, not so…touchable, and with that more interesting and important. For the same reason, it gave more thrill during the salacious actions.

Did you know that in the last few years, in the domain of porn industry, the most wanted term is amateur sex?  Because of all that offering we are actually witnessing the overload of perfect fucking with perfect people. Because it have become boring.

Because it is fake.

So does the shaking of tits, buts and vaginas of various wannabbies. It have become stupid, boring and non-interesting. No fantasy, no hunting, no longing. It`s a simple equation.

Everything is here, in front of us, so what`s the point?

You`ve found yourself a new man.

You˛re good together, everything goes smothly and you feel fine. But after a certain time you will probably hear this question: how many guys did you had before me?

Hm….. Well, let`s seeee….

If you`re really naive, and crazy about him, and you are convinced that you two shouldn`t have secrets between you, because this is the greatest love story in the history…you will tell him the truth. Aaaaaaaand….. he will flip! Completly! He will fall apart in one million pieces. From that gentle self-confident guy he will transform into a burning jello.

Because THAT was not what he was expecting to hear. In that second, when you say it, through his head will pass a respectable selection of hard porns of you and all your ex-s, how they fuck you hard and you are screaming in indescridable pleasure.

What he really wanted to hear is a pitifully small number, followed by your comment that they weren`t something anyway. And that nobody fucked you like he did. Because he is definitely the best.

The whole drama with sluts and saints is about male insecurity. The „sluts“ have some experience and they surely know if he is good in bed or not. And how much he sucks, if he does. Have in mind that he wants to be great. Always. To every woman.

And don`t even bother, after the confession, to explain that according to you the experience is a good thing.  That you are glad that he also had a number of partners because that makes you sexually compatible. He doesn`t hears you anymore.

The only sounds in his head are your wild moaning provoced by the hyper-potent ex-s, exchanging with the slides of Roman orgies with you as the main star. From His beloved Sweety you have metamorphosed into Somebody else`s Jezebel.

And this, my friends, is the reason for male virgin fascination. They don`t know if he is and how bad he is in the bed. They can`t compare it and he automatically becomes a great lover. Which will overflow his ego like the Mississippi in 1927.

So be smart. When he pops that question, stay cool. Think about it and give an acceptable answer. The one he can swallow, don`t try the „Bur darling, you`re the first“. It ain`t gonna work. Give him the one after which everything will stay fine, like it was before it.

And repeat it to all the guys after him:-)

That is, if you want a long-term relationship.

(after all, you don`t really think that he tells YOU everything, don`t you?)