Tag Archive: Christmas


Aaaaaaah holidays!

The joy, the rush, the singing, the cursing, the partying, the exhaustion, the presents… Of which some really suck.

 

Here`s the thing, for Xmas I got a bowl of purple potpourri. It looks nice, the colour is beautiful, the glass bowl (a crystal wannabbe) is decent but the scent…it`s…it`s…hideous! Absolutely dreadful! Like something you may smell in the restroom of a cheap bar, a mix of air freshener and a strong cleaning product used for not so fancy result of some very private activities. You get the picture.

 

I got it from a neighbour which is visiting almost every day so the smelly thing should be placed on a visible place. Well, I did try but…First it was in the living room bur the smell was so irritating that I have transffered it to the kitchen entrance…which wasn`t good enough because how in world can I cook if I don`t smell any ingredient except for that bathroom…thing? So I took it and found a place on the highest cabinet but you can still smell it. In fact it is so strong that you actually feel some kind of tickling in the throat. Incredible.

 

What a person can do in such situations?

The only convicing thing that came to my mind is – blame it on the cat. The cat is vivacious, playful, always running around and jumping on the furniture, and for that reason represents the perfect candidate! And what is more important, the cat doesn`t has an alibi, she is already seen on the crime scene several times by several bonafied witnesses. Yes, I know it is not right, and I`m not proud of myself but I just can`t think of something else. And I promise I will grant her with some delicious goodies and a new toy as a fair compensation.

 

How many times did you get something you hated? And what have you done with it? Once I got a vase from a very good friend of mine and it was the ugliest thing I ever saw. So, just to make some balance between my personal taste and friend`s expectations, I have placed that disputable item in the hall. …And how she got offeneded!…She wouldn`t be more resentful and insulted even if someone would spit on her favorite suede shoes. She was angry on me for months! I was sorry and I tried to explain numeruos times that I really love her very much but that this thing is…just not my thing, but with no result. Finally, years have passed before she realized that we have completly different taste in many, many, many things, including the eternal question of what is beautiful and what`s not. (which was always actually very practical because we never liked the same guys so we never argued about that:-)

 

Next move – go to the pet shop and buy something really nice to the cat.

 

Because the cat and I deserve it, 47.

 

P.S. I wish you a really truly fabulous New year!

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December joys

I love winter. Really, I just adore that sharp promissing cold air which fills you with vivid energy every time you take a breath. I suppose I wouldn`t sing the same song if my homeland would be let`s say Siberia, but how I`m blessed to enjoy all the benifits of a „normal“ climate, yeeeeees I loooove winter. (By the way, just as an interesting fact: this summer I met few tourists from Siberia on the hottest summer day and I realized that they don`t sweat! Really, it looks like that their sweat glands are simply not developed, so I was waiting the whole time if somebody will faint, reminding them all the time to drink the water. Never seen that before ).

 

And I love the fun, the lights, sharp winter Sun, hugging the heaters, the hope, wearing caps and hats (have them in almost all colours and shapes), the Xmas ornaments and almost everything that comes along in December package. Except that brain washing with Xmas tunes in every, but every, shop, mall, fruitstand, tv commercial or even those hyper-Xmas lovers which have it on their cell phones. Where ever you go, what ever you do you`ll be attacked with it. Too much is too much people!… Where were we? Ah, the winter mirths.

Like every year, besides the summer, December is the month when you have tons of parties, concerts and all sorts of events you can think of. Except the Wet t-shirt contests, beach volleyball championships and beach parties in general. (must admit that we tried it few times when we were younger, strongly bealiving that the good vibes will keep us warm but miraculously it didn`t work out as we planned) Anyhow, December means fun.

 

But like every party time, it requires some precaution for those „funny“ things that it may happen, for example:

 

  1. Losing your windshield – two friends of mine found out that somebody have actually stolen their windshield while they were having the time of their life in a club. The funny thing was that they came out wasted, sat in the car and then after driving some 5 minutes they started to scream at each other „Shut your f…… window! It is freezing!!!!“. You can imagine the rest.
  2. Forgetting your spouse at the parking – this actually happened few years ago. A couple was in a middle of a shopping frenzy, trying not to forget all the food for the dinner, the gifts, and everything that comes along. Trying to save the time, they took separate ways, one went to buy the food and the other went searching for perfect gifts. Anyway, He came home, started the check the shopping list „…oil is here, so is the turkey, sugar, …but I still feel I forgot something...“. His wife, that was waiting for hour and a half on the parking lot. It is still funny.
  3. Sending your sexy Xmas edition photo to a complete stranger – no explanation needed. Except if you send it to a family member. Then you will have to explain yourself to the rest of your life.

 

 

There are many, many ways how you can embarras yourself and amuse everyone else during the holidays, but let`s try to keep it under the control and still have fun this year. It is possible. And you don`t need a miracle to make it.

 

I wish you all a happy happy Christmas!

 

Because you and I deserve it, 47.