Tag Archive: child


You know those sick bastards (and I`m sure you do) which are hiding and beating behind the bushes? That perverted type which is addressing you with a larynigitic voice „I would fuck youuuuuuuu...“ then following you home? The one which is jerking off and running after you in the same time? Those sorrowful creatures which you discover in almost every block when the night falls and on every beach during the summer?

The ones for which today you never go out alone at night, avoid walking in the parks or, God forbids, on some strange quiet alleys. Terrible, isn`t it?

But have you ever asked yourself what made them that way? Well, maybe this is the answer.

I`m sitting in a pretty pleasent company, on a house party, sipping some nice wine. And there we are, a bunch of laid back friends and new kith, joking and talking… You know how those things go. Like I said, I`m sitting cosily and bibbing my Chardonney, feeling fine, when out of the blue, one broad, a woman and a mother, starts with her dilemma:

Woman/mother: „I real think there is something wrong with our kid…..“

Audience: „Why? How do you mean?“

Woman/mother: „He˙s not jerking off!“

Audience: „?!?!?!?“ (how should you react on such a statement anyway?) …“Hmmmm…weeeell…hmmmmm…How old is he?“ – we ask embarrassingly.

Woman/mother: „12“ – she says.

Audience: „How do you know he`s not…you know….beating the monkey?“ – we ask again blinking in abashment.

Woman/mother: „I check! Every now and then, I crash suddenly into his room or bathroom and I still have managed to catch him!“

JESUS! Holy…Say what?!?!?

I almost dropped the glass! WTF?!?!? She does what?…It`s…You`re…Unbelievable!

No wonder he`s not jerking off! How could he, poor thing?

How in the world she doesn`t sees how traumatic it must be to the kid, all the time living in the fear if his mother will fly in the room (or bathroom) while he is whacking?!?

Can you imagine what must be going in his head: there he is, cockering his little friend, his little pride and joy, dreaming of some delicious chick and her nice big boobs, just him and his right hand working together, and he feels fiiiiiiiiiine, yeah, ….that`s it….he`s almost there…oh yes…there he goes…oooooooooooh….and his mother comes bursting in! He would…he would… he would die!!! Jesus! To get caught in that age by your mother while you are masturbating!

And if he is not doing it, he surely doesn`t do it because of her, for crying out loud! Because he never knows when the perverted sicko of his mother will crash in like SWAT! And what would she say if she would „catch“ him? You`ve been punked?!? Or: let mamma see if you`re doing it properly?!?

What a control freak. What in the world do you have to do with his little ding-dong? Of course he`s not normal, how can he be? When every time he feels that strange but pleasant arising, he remembers his mother. Thinking how she will enter in the room right at this moment. Cathing him in the middle of the performance. Give the kid some privacy!

What a world! And then you ask how the perverts are made. In this very way, dear respected woman/mother! When a healthy, delightful and above all joyful act becomes a traumatic experience caused by such a parent! Who wants to think of his mother when he`s doing it?!? What a freak!

I am sincerely hoping that I won`t meet her again so soon. Or her kid, when he grows up, when I think of it.

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Went yesterday to a opening of a new drogstore. Me and about one million people too.And children. Running, screaming, curious, destructive children. And their mothers. Ignorant, indifferent, and apparently deaf mothers.

On the parfume and make up section, I saw a security guy who was helplessly observing the total chaos: kids, from 2-10 years old, were hosing and sprinkling each other with perfumes, spilling all the nail polish they could, drawing flowers on the floor with lipsticks… I mean demolishing the store. With the belonging sound background….While their mothers haven`t paid any attention to it. Let the children play… Aren`t they sweet?

Damn it, are you blind?!? And deaf??!!????

I read recently that a restaurant have decided not to tolerate the „nasty“ children and their parents. And for that decision, lots of people found themselves offended and shocked. Why???? How in the world did you mean that other people may find this behavior cute? Or funny. Or normal? Or desirable! Have mercy towards the others! And respect. You may be very proud on the product of your sexual activity, but the child is a HUGE responsability, and if you are not 100% sure that you are able to raise it, educated and train it, don`t do it!

You must have a permit for driving your car or for fishing, but nobody asks you anything if you decide to bring and raise a new person. So that every idiot may brag with his offspring. Lots of them can`t even take care of themselves but they sure know how to „stick it“ (or „take it“) not to mention what it takes to raise a new human being and help him become a man/woman. Then, few years later, if their „little miracle“ does something really bad, and turns into a reject, they wonder how it happened.

Do you have what it takes? Think about it. Do you bealive that you have enough strenght, selfcontrol, authority, personal education and training that you may bring up a person with qualities? Are you prepared to listen for few hours or days crying, screaming and booing after a simple NO? Are you capable to endure child`s begging or emotional extortions without backing down? Or to hear „I HATE YOU!“ if you don`t give him/her something, or let him do or go somewhere, hoping that one day he/she will grow up and understand that your decision was for his/her best? Are you prepared to be his parent, and not his best friend, his pal, someone who „digs him“, someone who is cool, just not to start a conflict? Because you want your child`s endless love. After all, this is your blood, you adore it, you would give your life for it…wouldn`t you?

I deeply respect those strong good parents who know what it takes and what they have to take to raise a good person. My standing ovations, really.

But to the others… No, it is not cute if your „bundle of joy“ is breaking things around, smashing everything on it`s way or screaming out loud while you try to speak on the phone with someone. And that someone is screaming back to you , because you didn`t understand a word what he/she said. No, it is not sweet how you raise your voice so that we can hear you. We don`t want to get a serious hearing damage or a huge headache.

So that next time, if you call us, and you spoiled brat is screaming like an idiot, seeking for your undivided attention for 24 hours, don`t be surprised if the conversation will be somehow strange and don`t be shocked on what you will hear.

Thanks a lot.

I SAID….THAAAANKS A LOOOOOT!

Click. Beeep…beeeep…beeeeep…. Please don`t call us if you don`t have at least some respect for us, so that you can explain to your child that the grown-ups are important too.

When we are small the world is a fascinating place. Every plane that flyes through the sky, every snowflake which lands on our palm, every found treasure even if it`s a ordinary plastic bead on the road, seems incredible. Then they convince us that we have to be practical, serious, with both feet on the ground, without too much dreams. They teach us to dissect every information, dismiss unecessary decorations and leave just useble facts. Forget the wings, forget the magic powder, forget the colorful clouds made for jumping. Do not dream.

Welll bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh! Magic exists!

Oh yes, I saw it last night! Me and dozens of other people. Dozens of grown up serious people. Really. Not some dreamers or lunatics but some responsable and often sceptical, cynical people.

In this town exists a man. He`s not exceling in any way. He doesn`t wears a pointy hat, long gray bear, or shiny cloak. He doesn`t hides a crystal ball, not even a bag with mysterious ingrediants and he doesn`t mumble words of some strange language in his chin. But from time to time he draws a magical stick. And then the Time stops. And the people around him. Because what he does is a real bonified magic! He is a glassblower. And what a glassblower!

The shapes that materialize from his flame, breath and stick are truely unbealivable. Every piece is carefuly shaped, every incredibly tiny detail is pulled with fantastic care. From thin air, in front of our very eyes mystical creatures from ancient tales are arising, but also some modern dreams of today`s hidden dreamers, even the ones which are carefuly cloacked from others big serious people. And they are all perfect. They are here but not quit.?? You see them but somehow dreamy. And they are becoming your personal prism through which you see the world.

But the thing that truely makes him a wizard is the power to make you a child again. I appreciate his skill but I enjoy more in observing the people around him. This, up till know, serious, hasty, grinned and worried people, are now small children which stand speechlessly and watching him with shiny and widely opened eyes. And they are really standing for half an hour, sometimes even a whole hour, sighing, smiling, ocassionaly looking at each other with true joy on their faces. Have you seen that? Heeeeeeeeeeeeey! This is…. fantastic!

And it is. The thing he does and what he does to you. Magic. From the fingers and the breath of a real wizard. So do not bealive to those evil witches which tell you the opposite. `Cause they are laying. The magic exists and you are still a child.

The fascinated and amazed joyful child which bealives in miracles. I know, I`ve seen it with my own eyes. Have you?