Tag Archive: child


When he met her she seemed like the sweetest thing. So caring and loving, full of compassion and understanding for everyone, a little emotional, yes, but all in all a wonderful creature. They married and she was possibly the greatest wife ever.

And then the baby arrived.

The little bundle of joy made him incredibly happy. He couldn’t wait to get back home from work just to see his precious little girl.  But as the time passed it turned out that this was his primary role – to watch the baby. Literally. No picking up or such nonsense because according to his dear wife, he wasn’t doing it right, he could drop the baby, that was not the proper way to change the diapers, she said, turn off the TV because it’s bad for the little one, she hissed. And the things went on and on.

The first year passed, then the second. Mommy dearest turned into Momzilla. All that hissing and biting spread on other people. Almost all the people. She started writing long angry posts on the social networks about anything that she couldn’t stand and it was all connected to their little girl. She was angry at people on the street because they were talking too loud when she took her little one on a walk. She had a fight with every neighbor in their building because she suspected one is smoking in his flat, the second was cooking something she could smell, the other was listening the music the baby could hear, and the list could go on and on. Nobody could visit them in their apartment because they were all annoying and not good for their daughter. In the meanwhile, the little girl continued to grow and started to become, well, to put it simply, a spoiled brat. That kind of a child that must always be the center of the universe, that won’t allow any adult to actually say the whole sentence without her screaming, yelling or throwing things just to get attention. Because everyone all the time must be listening what she had to say. All must be listening to her. Like her mother does.

As the time passed, the husband started to become quieter. He was still adoring his little one but from a distance. Because this was the only way he was allowed. He was sad and as the years come by, ashamed. Because of his wife behavior. Because of that mean, harsh and vicious woman she has become. And afraid that his little one is starting to grow into the same type as her momma. So he tried to talk with his once lovely wife, but then he discovered the hell’s fury. Her family tried to put some sense into it, but she furiously chased them away. Their friends tried a gentle approach and she spilled all her wrath on them.

And finally, she became bitter. Because from her point of view people were horrible, selfish, they betrayed her,  and she was just trying to raise her child. Not realizing that she is the mother source for all that misery.

Love is grand. Love is beautiful. Love can exist in so many ways and transform into most incredible shapes. But only if we respect it. And the people who are giving it.

Because we all deserve it, 177. Momzilla

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I am having a serious conversation. With a 8 year old child. A girl, to be more precise. Which is stirred, not shaken. Anyhow, she would like to know something, but then again maybe she wouldn`t, maybe it would be better for her to don`t know….SPIT IT OUT KIDDO!!! – I go  sympathetically and tactfully. „Uhhhhhhhhh“, says the kid, „Aaaaaaahm… how the babies are made?“. Ha! So she got me thinking how to explain sex to a child without provocing any trauma with all that pushing, flexible holes, self-willing swelling parts and cetera. And all of the sudden, here it comes my Loving one with a book in his hands named „Sexual education for 7-9 year old children“. Gift from above….. And I will adore and kiss your steps, won`t take ever your name from my lips….Give it! Right now!

So, we discovered that the one who`s name we shall not speak (and it`s not Prince/sign or Voldemort) but the one we call Mhhhhhmmmmm-thingy, boys use primerly for peeing, Ha ha ha, he he he, silly boys. Then we discovered that boys and girls too, when they are little older, get hair down there. Uuuuhhhhgh, I don`t want hair there! (though luck kiddo, but even getting lost in the forest has it`s avails, just be careful not to evolve fauna with the flora). Then we passed on a sexual maturity, with her real question: „What are they selling in a sex shop?“. BOOM,  BANG,  BAM, WHAM….. Excuse me?!?!?!?!?….And there goes child innocently explaining that her and her little friend saw the other day one of these shops and they wanted to get in because they can`t figure out what things are actually offered in a such a place. Weeeeeell, hmmmmmmm, you seeeeee, I meaaaaaaan, the people buuuuuuy, ahmmmmmmm…that….pretty-underwear-and-other-things-which-now-would-be-very-boring-to-you-and-for-which-some-adults-think-they-should-buy-it-to-their-sweethearts-with-whom-they-make-love-to-love-each-other-even-more. HA! Next question, please! Quickly! (….son of the…how in the world do they know about the dildo?!?!?!?)

And the she hits me with the next one: why do we have to avoid the sun when we get the period? „. What?????? Who said that???? Her mamma told her, she says, and after it she also said that when they get their period girls must avoid sun at all costs because then they bleed twice as much so now she is wondering what she shoud do during the summer?

To hell with her dim uneducated mother! What kind of nonsense is this?!? No sweety, that ain`t right. You don`t have to hide in caves when you get your period, nothing bad is going to happen, mummy just didn`t get it right. „Oooooh“, she says, „ and can`t you tell me why boys don`t cry?“ And there goes an intervention again, of course they cry, every normal man cries when he feels bad, you know, just like us, when they are sad, angry, or both. Even daddy cries sometimes. And your adored cousin Paul. „But my mom told me that real men don`t cry, ever!“. That mom of yours is a walking idiot, I`m thinking…What else did your mamma say?  „Weeeeell“, she goes “mom said that girls which are changing boys are whores and the boys that are no good are fags.“

 

Can you bealive it!?! But the kid had more of it: that she has to dress „well“ when she is going to the beach because nobody mustn`t see her tities (which tities?!? You`re 8, about which tities are speaking about?!?) or her tush, God forbid (what that she has to wear on the beach, a raincoat?). Then she said that depilation is very painful, that you have to hide from everyone when you have your period…. Incredible. That narrow minded mother of hers will make a a sexually deviant person, like she is, which won`t be able to love herself, or her future partner, or be capable to enjoy sex freely. Because that is disgusting.  All that. Including all the male population.

Then we are speaking about some programmes against discriminations and prejudices. Then you can hear us complaining that men are disrespecting us. No, no, my dear, you got it all wrong. Women are doing it, mostly, raising new generations of frustrated idiots of both sexes which just can`t embrace something normal, like their own bodies, delights and sincere love, labeling it like general shame and sin. Incredible. In this time and age…

 

P.S. what that mother needs is a genuine kick with a mace. Maybe, just maybe, then she would understand how backward she really is and let her child grow up in a happy and satisfied person.

 

 

I am trying to be polite so I say: „She is really sweet but, don`t take this personally, she is a litlle bit…slow.“. He stands there in silence for few seconds, then answers: „Yes…She is. I don`t know what`s wrong with her. At first I thought that she`s stoned but now I see she isn`t. She really wasn`t like that before. Really. Can`t understand what happened to her….“.

We are talking about His friend, that He hadn`t see for some time now. And he hadn`t because the mentioned Slowie got married, got pregnant and gave birth (in that order exactly, a miracle!). We met her the other day and she invited us on a cup of coffee, euphorically, and we said yes, of course. At first, I didn`t get it, I thought that it`s just the way she is – little slow, but positive and cheerful, can`t hate her even if you want it to. You know the type.

Beeeeeep! Wrong!

He said that she was always very sharp, quick and everything that comes in the package with and intelligent, creative, witted and funny person. Hm…But now she`s not. Oh, she is funny, but in a different way. She is over-jolly ( playing Puff the Magic Dragon in the background) but you have to  e-x-p-l-a-i-n everything, slooooowly, with all details…Every joke and comment you make are received with a confused look and lots of questions…Exhausting. Very. I mean, she is sweet but… Just too much.

Then the phone ringed last night. I picked it up. On the other line I found a friend, a woman and a mother of a 4 year old girl.

37 minutes. To make it clear: thirty-seven-minute conversation of cooking, various symptoms, the child, it`s health, nurturing and education, upcoming precaution regarding sun, sunburns and everything which represents a danger for a child.

37 minutes until she just stopped. I heard nothing but complete silence for a minute or so. Then I heard a sigh, followed by: „Jesus, how I would like to go alone on a beach this summer, to jump in the water, swim slowly without any pressure, lay on the sand and just enjoy the sun in silenceYou know, not to jump every 2 seconds because the child is thirsty, hungry, because she`s bored, because… Just to enjoy myself. Me, understand? Me.“

Which remembered me on that Slowie with euphoric outbursts. Damn it! I get it! She was high on freedom! That`s it! She made it! She escaped! Only for an hour or two..fresh air, freedom… Doped, stoned, baked, toasted, buzzed, mashed, fried, blitzed…Then I remembered all the others which allowed the grindstone, the ones which allowed that everything is  subjected to their child and house, the ones that don`t exist anymore, the ones that can`t afford to take an hour or two per day of freedom. For a cup of coffee, of undisturbed staring in TV, of reading, of leaving the house alone for an hour where there will be only them, without children….or anything else. Just them.

When I was a kid, my parents were different. They could BREATH. We were outside playing, almost all the time (coming home only to grab a bite). When they were talking we couldn`t interrupt, if they were watching they favorite show – we weren`t crying and banging, yelling that we are bored, that we want to watch a cartoon…Their friends were coming, and we weren`t seeking for attention, they went to work, they were going out… And we turned OK. We really did. So did they.

But this moms… No wonder they lose it every now and then. The only thing they think about are children and home, they can`t remember when was the last time they done something for themselves. They are behaving like they are serving a deity. Prasing. A cult. A cult of a child.

That is a pressure. Coming from the society. It actually demands from the parents to become completly abnormal, to treat their children like they are retarted, because the poor kids just can`t be or do anything by themselves. Well, THAT is retarded and abnormal.

From now on you should do this: the next time your kid starts badgering and crying that he/she is bored, take a deep breath, shrug, and say: „I don` t give a damn. Work something out. Mom will take some time for herself. And don`t bother her for a while. Go, shush!“.

Then go out, lay down, get stoned, whatever.

 Because mom deserves it. Every day.