Tag Archive: cheating


I feel it. It`s happening again…

Still don`t have any tactile proof but all requirements are here.

First to introduce myslef – I am Aqua, an ex notorius troublemaker alibi.

Want to escape from your one and only, every now and then, to get wasted so much you can barely walk, come home at completly unapropriete hour, and still get away with with it?

Then blame it on me!

It`s easy, just say „I was with Aqua“ or „I run into Aqua and you know how she is, she won`t let you go after only one drink…“. There, everything solved. Just like that.

How it works? Simple, get loved, or just liked even, by your friend`s best half, get her/his trust as a decent well-behaved person but who likes to go out much and whenever you feel to break up your daily routine and get a little impish – come home and say you were with me.

Yes, you will make me curse you for a while because I really don`t want to remember all those dates when I was supposed to be partying with you, but I am your favorite and always efficient alibi. Your best half knows you won`t get in any trouble because I like pure clean fun. I will dance, lough, talk and have a drink or two…(or 3, 4, 5…:-p). But that`s it. No funny buisness.

 

No, really, few years back, I was going out much, didn`t have so much responsabilities, and you could meet almost everywhere. In clubs, concerts, bars, somewhere miles from civilisation just walking and admiring the nature, …Well, the last one I still do but partying… Let`s say that now you may see me in a club 3-4 times tops per a year, having a cup of coffee in a nice cozy place and sometimes you may see me on those few interesting exhibitions you may find. Not a perfect alibi maker anymore.

Yes, I was following Lenny Kravitz`s state of mind with that „dancing till dawn“ and I was using it the best way I could. (I was always joking with my One and only that he doesn`t knows how to go out and that I don`t know how to come home when I do). But, like I said, I had it and now I enjoy the calm harmony.

 

But…yesterday I got a message on FB from a friend of me, qouting „We have to talk, in private“. I know that she`s been going out solo for past few months, because her spouse was working, was tired, didn`t feel like partying…. And when I asked her, few days ago, when I can expect the two of them to come and see our new shiny apartment (let me brag a little) she started to shrik in a way letting me know, between the lines, that we shouldn`t contact or see her best half for now. Which is strange because her lovely Mr.D is somehow introvert and the two of us are almost the only people he wants to spend time with. Hm…

 

Me don`t likey. Don`t get me wrong, I am the first who will tap someone`s shoulder for doing something good for him/herself no matter what the rest of the world will think but this.. Looking it from the perspective of these few months, I kinda got a feeling that she has done, or doing, something really wrong. And I won`t surely be a part of that. I like that man, he is a good quality man, which I would reccomend to any woman. He is kind, romantic, strong, funny and she can always count on him. Best example: she knows to get crazy with shopping clothes and the thing makes him smile, just because it makes her happy. Now how often you meet that kind of man?!?!?

 

After all these years, I`ve come to conclusion that we shouldn`t do anything which we can`t tell our best halves. If we can`t, then we know that it will hurt that somebody, which is just wrong. (lying or deceiving is not an option for me, it takes too much energy and I really like to feel free, not tangled in anything). Or even worse, if you can`t tell it to your best half, maybe you are deceiving yourself, spending your time with a person which is clearly not for you. Don`t know which is worse.

 

So, now I am expecting. Will she or will she not ask me to cover her. Me, the troublemaker`s alibi. And I hope that she won`t. I hope that she will come out with the truth.

 

Because I (and everyone else) deserve it, 39.

Public illusion

Searching…Searching…Searching…Target located. Lock and load.

You have found the wanted targer which mostly suits your prefrences.

A man, attractive, mostly bested, educated, with similar affinities, free…

Eye contact have been established several times, same as the mutual visual estimation. You staring at him, he˙s staring back to you. Positive feedback.

You see him usually at night. He is mostly with his male buddies. And for that reason you zaključiti da he is single. And ready to mingle. With you.

Of course he is free, otherwise he would be companioned by a female speciment. Because people do that. When they „have“ someone, they go out togeter, that way declaring to the world their mutual attraction and the desire for spending their free time together. So men take their proud choice by the hand and show it to the public – the female representative with which He is sharing his…intimate juices. And his time and space.

On several occasions, you haven`t seen any such activity in the space of your dark object of desire,  so you feel invited to step into his intimate territory. With doors wide opened.

Not surmising anything…

Well behind the carefully built facade of the attractive FREE male you will find a twofaced selfish maggot which is already sharing his intimate space with someone. Far from your eyes. While you are flerting with him. And seeding your wishes and hopes on his ground.

At the time he is playing naive. He is very kind with you, he doesn`t push it, which seems to you like a polite human being, who respects the women. Yeah right…

You had the pleasure to meet a sleezy weasel which loves to sit on two chairs. No, he is not timid, shy or full of respect, as you may presume but caution. At this time, he is already sharing his precious tool with someone but you haven`t figured it out `cause he is alone or with his friends everytime you run to him when you go out.

Soon you find out that he is seeing somebody, to be precise, he is in the relationship. In the same time playing the role of the „Lost in the dark“, blinking with his pretty eyes cause he`s flashed by your sudden lighting phenomenon.

What a….

You have every right to be dissapointed but you know what to do. You do because you know that even if he breaks up with his current female choice, he would do the same thing to you. While you would cuddle him during the week, he would be playing a free spirit during the weekend, available for new acquaintances. No strings. No mercy.

Because he needs space.

A fucking architect.

So much for respect. Hope. And trust.

So put a cross on the thing.

Write a R.I.P. on it.

Barry it to be rotten.

He belongs to maggots anyway.

Not to you.

You will find something else. Something real. Something good.

Because you deserve it.

In cooperation with my friends, wrote which kind of men are very bad for a woman. Here are few categories of men that you definitely want to avoid. With them, they only question what can bother you is „what and how much will I lose?“. Every type has it`s own symptoms and it would good if you can recognize it when you`re still ahead.

  1. „Unhappily“ married men or the ones in exclusive relationships which are still searching for the One

 

This kind of parasites are actually quite often. He is tided up but that definitly doesn`t stops him to look for a softer pillow for his anguished little head. „She“ doesn`t understands him, or She is not excatly what he was looking for but that`s not a good reason to leave her. Never or not until he is 100% sure that you will give him everything what he wants. Translating, somebody who will take all his shit and forgive him everything. Because he needs to be understood.

Then he leaves Her without any mercy. Don`t kid yourself, you will be his only one just until he gets a new itch or when he suddenly gets that even you are not what he was looking for. And he never will. He will be always playing the field and he will never commit totally to anyone.

You will recognize him for his slickness, he is always tided up, his shirts are ironed, perfectly clean, and he always has lots of neodgodive obaveze. When his cells rings he usually leaves the room and somehow he often just can`t see you when you want to. `Cause he is busy. Completly. With somebody else.

  1. Man child type

 

Do you know the saying „don`t sleep with the child because you will awake pissed“? He needs to be nourished of all the time and you always must be there for him. His needs and wishes are more important than yours. If something doesn`t goes how he wanted to, you can expect his yelling, shouting, pouting or complete silence that will last for hours and sometimes days. And you will never love him enough. He needs his mom not a equal being beside him. It has nothing to do with his age, he will never grow up. He is looking for a fairytale, without any problems or compromises. As soon as some problems occur and he needs to invest a little effort in the relationship, you will become undesirable.

You can recognize him by his eternal playfulness and his affinity to dream most of the time. He is quite amusing in the beginning, you will never be bored because he will always want to do something or go somewhere. As long as it`s not boring.

Let him get a dog.

Wait a sec, that`s a bad idea. Then he would have to feed it, walk it, pet it…  The poor thing would probably die or run away. Like you should too. As fast as possible.

  1. Damaged good

 

Once upon a time there was a certain someone who have hurted him badly and from that time he just can not love again. Wrong! He didin`t love that one either. This kind of goblin is a plain simple coward. His balls were amputated at his birth and from then he is just screwing any woman he meets. The line „Maybe…I just can`t love anyone anymore….“ is a simple lie. No asshole, you`re just too lazy and egocentric. A type of the men which always places his boundaries out of your reach just that something wouldn`t hurt him. He can`t stand any pain. Because he is too weak. Oh, you poor baby…

He usually dies alone. Because nobody wants to get only 10% for a fully paid good.

You will recognize him easily: he refuses to change any of his habits, however bad or silly they may be. He won`t take any responsability or a commitment because for him it is always too soon. As soon as you suggest that you would like a normal relationship, he will get agitated and say that you are suffocating him.

Well my dear…. I hope you`ll choke!

  1. Peacocks

 

He needs your eternal admiration. You will never stand beside him on a throne because he is the Sun around which the whole universe is turning. He is smart, beautiful as Adonis, talented, charming, funny, a star evryewhere he goes.

He always must be in the centre, surrounded by his loving fans who will faint on his arrival. When you go out, you are not so important as the reactions of other people. Actually, it is not really important if it`s you or somebody else as long as he gets the admiration he needs. Your undivided attention…As long as you feed his ego. If you try to accent yourself, his love will nepovratno fade away. You will get a lot of „Lets talk about me/mine….“. You are always talking about he and his, analyzing for hours his moves, looks or thoughts, competitions, how someone talked to him…

And you do that every day. In case you  kneel or praise enough and never look directly in the eyes there is a chance that he will rewarded you for loyalty and stay with you. In the meanwhile, you will get serious problems with your spine and skined knees.

You will recognize him for his incredible confidence and royal behavior. He is a star and he knows it. Are you the satellite?

  1. Classic player

 

You`re great for him. Really cool. He may call you when he wants and be with you when he wants. The only problem is that you would like to see him more often. To have a rythm and a constant. Not to be usually together only on a weekend (late hours) or when if he suddenly suprises you during the week when, finishing in the bed again after which he doesn`t shows or calls for days or even weeks. When you try to talk about it , about you, he says that he is having a great time with you but he is just not ready, or that this is not the time,  that now is a very delicate period for him, altough he would really like more, but now…at this time…he doesn`t have the….now… is not possible.

But he is more than willing for going out with his buddies and other girls. That is a fact. For them, he will always find and make time. And you will blush as soon as he calls. Whenever that is. Mr. Uncatchable.

And don`t kid yourself with „Maybe soon he will….“. Never. Remember that.

  1. Hidden player

 

So called Wondering eye. He is with you but whenever something passes by and it`s female,  he will absorbing with implacable intesity. When you go out he stares in other chicks, he often charms them with his brain and wit and treats you like you`re his sister or and old friend. The fact that this makes you feel inferior, unattractive and neglected is YOUR problem. Not his. Cause in the end, he is with you, what more do you want?

He needs his freedom and he will rather go out with his friends on the weekend than with you because he „relaxes so much better that way“. Oh really? So you`re comfortable but the others are more fun.

As long as you don`t nug him too much – he will stay wih you. Regular sex is a good thing… if you`re into that only. But as soon as you said anything, and pass that magic level of his tolerance (which is very low) he will leave.

Here, take the passport. And don`t come back.

  1. Mama`s boy

 

His mom is great. Or terrible. Either way he is mentioning her at least few times per a day. They usually have love-hate relationship. If his mom needs or wants something, he runs there like hell. You can wait. The mom always comes first. The reasons may be different but the end is always the same.

If you`re ready and willing to always be the 2nd one – knock youreslf out! No plan of yours will  be important enough if she calls and suggests something. Had plans for a trip together? Looking forward to it? Well if mom wants to have lunch, or something else, with her boy that day, take a rain check. Or you may take her with you. Or have always a back up plan with someone who knows the difference between a family trip and a romantic getaway.

Even if you agree on this type of arrangement be ready to hear:

–         my mom cooks it this way and I think it`s delicious

–         mom says that it`s better to do it this way

–         mom called and I have go to help her with..

–         I have to7 cause I can`t listen to my mom`s nugging

Well honey, next time you want some lovin` ask your mom!

  1. Addicts

 

Actually for this type you don`t need a special warning. No matter if it`s drug or booze. In any case remember – they are not here. Not with their head or their heart. They are using isolators, no matter which kind, because it makes them feel better. They are not really here. This type is a special kind of wimps apt to self-destruction, which is very hard – for themselves and especially for you. They can promise you anything and they are usually claiming that they are not addicted and that they can stop whenever they want.

If they could they would stop. Most of them are not retarted, they are aware of consequences. But they ignore it. The point is that you will be the one who will take all his crap: the apathy, depression or nervousness. It`s got nothing to do with you, they are just selfish and weak. Anyhow, no good. No good at all. Rarely, you may run into an exception but usually it`s pure SF. The statistics don`t lie.

How the recognize him is easy – beside the mentioned moodyness and unexpected over-reaction to things, try for example to see how many glasses (or bottles) is he consuming and how often is he drinking. Addiction is a desease which destroys not only the consument but also his close ones.

A friend of mine, who is a cop, told me a story about a woman who was beaten by her drunk husband. When they`ve asked her how long is he drinking she said: „Oh, he was a drinker since I met him!“. When they asked her howcome she didn`t react to his booze right at the beginning of the relationship she answered: „Oh but back then, when he was drinking, he was a stud!  He was acting funny, amusing and confident. I didn`t know he will be like this!

Well she should, just like you. Just say no. To the addicts too.

There, hope my little group have helped you with their experiences so that they don`t turn into becoming yours. Give your love to someone who can appreciate it and give it back to you.

Godspeed!