Tag Archive: affair

This is the exact way how the story was brought to me, and now I am giving it to you….

There`s a guy. Actually, a representative of a certain type of the man. He is the walking nightmare for the majority of the male sex.

He is The One.

The Chosen One…

His name is Patrick. He is 38. French or Canadian, he is speaking with a hard French accent. Which sounds so….damn good! He is 6`4, his face is slightly peaked, with a dominant chin and a strong jaw. His body is tense and muscular, but not too much. Just about that, when you touch it, the hand may send to the brain informations about a living rock. That perfect body, so tough and firm, has a history. Le Patrick is a free climber. When his strong hands pry every curve on the rock, his mind is sharpened. In that moment, he can devote to his hidden passion-philosophy.

There is something magnificent in his climbing style. Especially when he takes of the shirt and lets the small drops of sweat to shimmer on a tight surface of his skin…And glide on his back, without any thought of doubt or insecurity. He knows. And may.

His moves are slow and silent. His face has a mysterious smile, always ready for a conversation. He is full of understanding and always in a good mood. Turbo friendly towards the whole universe, he has enough strenght to bare every challenge. And to reward all it`s participants….

Die bastard, die!!!

Damn you!

Damn the Patrick and all his representatives!

Why? Because there is no woman which will resist him! Because all the other men, compared to him, are assholes!

Because Le Patrick will never fell asleep whith a dry dick! Because however you may work and try around some hottie, she will melt like a fine jello and pour over Le Patrick`s figure and leave the guy with who she was before him. Without a simple goodbye.

Because when HE shows up, there isn`t a thing which a normal, ordinary guy may say or do, not to become totally insignificant, dull, boring and stupid. Because HE is quite ok, friendly and correct towards all those ordinary guys, not giving them a good reason to punch him right in the face!

Because He is The Chosen One.

Every chick will choose Him. No Regular Joe doesn`t have a chance while He is around. They are all His. Drooling, blinking, giggling on every His word watching Him with admiration.

Which leaves Regular Joe all alone on the bar, sipping his lonely drink. Because he doesn`t exist any more. Not a trace. His presence and prevalence are irreversibly erased….

I do hope that the story is funny to you how it was to me. They told me the story with such a passion and bitterness that I was loughing out loud all the time while they were telling it!!Imagine what is bothering them! Le Patrick! Some fictitious guy in their head which they admire and hate!

A secret nightmare for which they loath every guy with a stronger chin, free climbing and foreign accents. Leaving them to live in fear deep down.

For some Le Patrick which may show up on their, always unsecured, territory!

Just too damn funny. And then they say that women are dramatic and insecure…Ha!


We sung last night, Iggy and I…. No fun to be alone… And somehow we synced. With the rythm and general condition. Without the applause of the crowd went wild. Just the two of us.

Then I replaced the heartbreaking atmosphere with a social glass of wine, offered by a friend. Logical as he is, he didn`t saw any downers, just a win-win situation. Fuck it, wrong audience!

Somehow we started talking about a guy we both know. They call him The Magician.

He replaced the cylinder hat with black Doc Martens and the rabbits with pure sex. Must emphasize that the guy is far from the general apprehension of attractiveness or hotness but he scores. Oh, he scores bigtime! And the ones he scores ARE pretty and really hot!

He`s not tall, acually he is quite short, not goodlooking, not rich. But his score is just fantastic. Sweet young peaches, older broads, married ones, ordinary ones, truely and really hot ones – all his.

The question is how?

Why him, howcome not somebody else, someone far more hotter, gets his piece of action so much sparsely?

Then I had an an epiphany – go with the flow. That`s it!

The thing is… he`s got an excellent style. And a very refreshing one. You just don`t feel any burden with him. He is always sunny, on a silent and gentle way. He doesn`t have any, so commonly met, peacock excesses, when a guy boasts and shows of. Men, when they try to impress a woman, so often exaggerate with wittiness, narcissistic performances, their importance in this world, their relevance at work, among his friends… You always get a „look at me!“ modus operandi.

But not with the Magician. With him, you can expect just absolute cosiness. He doesn`t harass you or disturb you, his compliments are always friendly never ambiguous…He always glides by the woman, following her rythm and needs.

No always means no.

He is patient and tactful, always pleasant, never ever agressive. He doesn`t protrudes, preaches, moans, complains, he always gives a feeling to the woman that it is all about her. On his calm and smiling way.

That`s it. No mince, no Oscar nomination, just slow and easy sliding.

And damn, he`s good at it!

Somewhere, behind the 7 seas, there`s a guy, tall, blond (ah, with the colour of golden honey which pastes to the soul….),  very fit with the proper 6 pack instead of a beer sack (standad male package), an artistic soul (he claims ardently)…

So one day he meets a female entity, she blinks and sighs, and he stares into distance worryingly, probably for the spiritual state and the level of evolution of all the creatures from his yokel birthplace to Andromeda.

So he grabs her hand and takes her, with a promise of a stormy summer dusk on his lips. But alas!

A cardinal element of the story: scenography

The rest of the apartment was ok, if we ignore his impressionist reach sparsed all over the flat but… then they got to the bedroom. Yeah. Well…

The bed was located in the middle of a semicircular gap in the room, which wouldn`t be strange if there wasn`t one detail: on some 20 cm from the bed were narrow mirrors attached to the wall. Which wasn`t there presenting the hommage to 80s  but as a architectonic detail of  a very important role.


He stripped and started with a performance: observe my biceps, then look at my triceps, then of course the quadriceps, watch the line on my back when I stand like this… and so for 15 minutes. God all mighty!

The female entitiy lays on the bed and waits.


And then he jumped. I shit you not. And nailed it. Flying.And started to plough.

Style: pneumatic drill.

Clasification of the fucker: banger (forwards the porn on full-action-hero part, memorizes the rythm-bang bang, proudly uses it in real life, the rest of the porn ignores- the pose, the girl, the place….

Sound background:

She sighs, moans (giving her best). But he is the star of the evening. The script is written just for him. And then he started to shine.

He: „I fuck you like a champ!“

She: „Oh!“

He: „You`re feeling so goooooooood!“

She: „Ah!“

He: „I am fantastic!“

She: „Mmm…“

He: „Nobody fucked you like this before!“

She: „Oooooh!“

He: „I am so hot!“

She: „Ha?“

Then she opens her eyes and looks at him. But he, he is not looking at her but in those mirrows above the bed, right above her head! He is looking at himself! His face and expressions. Not their action but his „lovely“ eyes. And cheers!

There the entity started to grab his attention. Like „helloooooooooooo, I am here, anyone?“. But nothiiiiiiiiiiiing. The guy is so self absorbed that he even doesn`t notice her.

And he proceeded with „I fuck you so good, nobody fucked you so good before, blah blah…..“. And like this for 2 fucking hours! No pauses, no slowing down, changing the rythm, or at least some silence for crying loud! Without this eulogies and odes to himself.

Post coitus:

He cums, gets up, goes to the big mirrow and stars to buckle in front of it and to marvel to his biceps for next 15 minutes. Without even looking at her.

 Now that is a classical idiot!