Category: Church


Isn`t it beautiful when people fall in love? You remember, the butterflies in your stomach, the sparkling energy which you generate like a smaller nuclear plant, the joy you want to share with the whole world. And of course, the changes you make to yourself – taking more care of your appearance and even polishing your little possible flaws. You know, like saying you absolutely love how your chosen one enjoys football. Everything just to be more likable to the object of your infatuation.

And like they say, it is all fair in love and war. Well, at least until that love really grows into a war.

Robert was a fairly reasonable guy, but 10 years ago he met Diane and deeply fell in love. The feeling was so strong that he couldn`t wait to marry her. She was the one, the perfect one for him. So only 5 months after, they organized a small ceremony and exchanged the rings in front of the family and close friends.

But what Robert didn`t expect is that his loving Diane has also brushed her character flaws and interests. Just like he did in the beginning. Time was passing by slowly, discovering how different they really were. He really enjoyed in martial arts, becoming a real sensei as the years passed by, and she hated the physical activity so much that his enthusiasm made her hate herself. He enjoyed literacy so much that he started to write himself, while she spent her time watching the soap operas every afternoon. Robert adores children and started to feel quite unhappy realizing that Diane wouldn`t even think of having them. While his spiritual side is something he cares about, Robert led his life just trying to be a good person, but without visiting the God`s house. Diane, on the other side, found that she liked going to church a few times a week. And resented him for not going with her. The list goes on and on.

So they decided to split. For good. Before the hate becomes their only mutual connection.
All this time, the whole 10 years, Robert hasn`t said a single ugly word about Diane or their life. Not to her, not to anyone else. His parents thought him that being a good man means also to be kind and civilized and to always defend your family. And for long ten years, Diane was his family.
A month ago, my phone rung. I answered and heard:

„I did it! I finally did it!”, Robert yelled on the other side. „The marriage is over, we signed the papers and I said it!”

„Said what?”, I asked, completely confused.

„I said: Diane, %#& you! Did you hear? %#& you, Diane!”, he shouted.

„Ahm, I`m sorry, what? What`s the big deal?”

„Because now I can finally say what I feel!”

As it turned out, through all those long years, he never came even close to say what he really thinks or feels. He didn`t allow himself to do it. When I asked why he kept quiet, he said that it wasn`t appropriate. To swear in front of his own wife. Because, according to him, he didn`t want to hurt her feelings. Like the divorce wouldn`t.

We are talking about the freedom of speech, but forget to take that right in our own intimate universes. It is important to say it, to express our feelings and elaborate our stands. Even if it`s a bad and ugly word.

So take that right. Say it. Just let it out. Maybe it`s not appropriate all the time, but sometimes that one word means freedom. For your close ones and for yourself. And maybe that ugly word will give the future to your whole life story.

Because you deserve it, dammit, vol.197.

from the bottom of the heart

 

 

I drag myself home. Eat something, gracefully lay on the couch and take the remote. A nirvana. For about whole 8 minutes.

Suddenly, someone starts buzzing on my door bell like crazy, simultaneously beating on it: ding-dong, ding-dong, boom-boom, boom-boom, ding-dong…! I jump up, and 3 seconds later the alarming condition starts again: that someone is beating on my door, not moving it`s finger from the door bell. What the…? What is going on? Is it a fire, have the war started, what is it for crying out loud??? I`m yelling „juuust a minute“ while the pandemonium continues.

I opened the door to find a pissed off battle tank! A lady, with the size of a wardrobe closet, with an agressive attitude and interesting look (I almost shit my pants form it), starts waving in front of my face with a piece of paper. Blah, blah, she is selling catholic calenders, she says. Correction – selling is an affable offer of the product, which you can or don`t buy. This was…this was…unbealievable!

I try to explain that I don`t want it, not my cup of tea, I lie impiously saying that my neighbour is an active member of the church and that I already have those…

But, the battle tank is not giving up. Grand as the Faith itself. She is on the mission. She stands there, with that incredible look, fixiting me. Not moving. Not for an inch.

We stand there in silence. Not saying a word. I am waiting for her to give up, and she is waiting for my next move.

After 2 or 3 minutes of speachless staring I try to say something, but in the same second she starts reapeting her respected lines: „These are the catholic calenders, made by our beloved catholic church…“. Damn woman! I have a date with a couch and the tv! What, are we going to stand here all afternoon, gaping like idiots?!?

Then I had it. I asked her how much, she said her price, I cashed it out and amen! You may go in peace sister. Godspeed.

What happened to those kind old ladies which have caressingly offered the calenders, admonishing on charity and other tender things, which made you feel…warm around your heart?

This one could easily be recruted by the Opus Dei!

I should have known better. Few years ago, I was debating for half an hour with couple of Jehova Witnesses, again on my doorstep. With no result. It`s like they are programmed not to be fluctuated by anything they could hear or see until they get what they want. Take no prisoners.

Anyhow, if someone needs a calender, just let me know. Have a small-fit-in-the-wallet one and grand-centre-of-the-living-room-wall versions. And it`s not like I`m going to use it anytime soon, the memories from the last skirmish are still too fresh.;-)