It is hard. It is often unbearable. It hurts like hell.

But…only for first two months. Then you discover that the Sun still shines, that people are still living around you and hey, so are you!

Then after some time, you start to lough to yourself and your reactions. My last time was:

Day 1: We broke up, I called my best friend, she picked me up and took me for a good cry (you know, sobbing and crying „Whyyyyyyyyyyyy?“ to the skies) and then she drove me to her apartment where I found a bed with sheets with red and black hearts on it and a box of tissues on a night stand. A very own Heartbreak hotel only for me! Aaaaaaah, isn`t that nice?

Day 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7: Crying, sobbing, some cursing.

Day 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14: More cursing and really little crying. Lot of walking.

Day 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22,… to 30: State of reflecting (why in the world have I entered in this relationship anyway? Even a blindman could see that he didn`t have what I need). And little more cursing, of course.

Day 30 to 60: Well, well, well, there is life on Earth! And look, I am here too!

Day 60 to 100: Having fun. Really having fun! Going out (hangovers included), dancing all night, meeting new people, re-discovering myself.

And THAT my friend is why a break up is a good thing.

You know those trust exercises people do when you have to let yourself fall into another man`s arms? Well, you have to do it alone. What do I mean? You have to learn to trust yourself. You probably didn`t had an issue with trusting other people in the first place at all, but the problem you do/did have is trusting yourself. Yes, you may fall but you don`t have to be scared, you may easily prevent it, learn how to do it and finally if it happens anyway, to stand up again on your own.

My fall and rise was going like this: OK, this will sound incredible but I never learned to ride a bike when I was a kid. Seriously, I didn`t have the need and I wasn`t too interested. And I always felt a little embarrassed when someone told „Hey, it`s like riding a bike! You never forget it“. Yeah, right…Like I would know how it feels… So I took a friend with the same problem (his excuse is an ununsual one: his parents are hard intelectuals, they encouraged him to play chess, read, and stuff like that which made him a very interesting person, with two master`s degrees, but no common knowledge like….riding a bike). So we took a bike and went on a deserted place. And I tried. And tried. But I was so scared and paralysed from fear that I couldn`t let myself go. Then, a half-miracle happened: an old man came along with this timeless words of wisdom „You have to let yourself fall, otherwise you are never going to learn“. And I thought „What the….?!? Who do you think you are, Yoda??? What kind a cr.. is this?!?“ I mean really, can you imagine the cliche, an old man coming out of nowhere and saying that?

And I did. True, after and hour and a half but I did it. It worked. I pushed myself and wittingly throwed myself to the ground. And it was beautiful. A revelation. Hell yes, I had large bruises on my legs all summer but I it was worth it. Just after that, I sat on it again and….I  was riding a bike! Me, on my own, with nobody holding it, alone, by myself! Riding. A bike. Ha! Look at me, I`m going! Yipeeeeeeeee!

That thing brought me a package of goodies. For example, after that relationship disaster I had few others but I never felt that bad again. Yes, after the break up you will feel the pain but it will never hurt that much again. And you`ll be on your fee in a jiffy. And you won`t ever feel that lost, or desperate again. Why? Because it is always you. Actually, it really doesn`t matter who is the other person. You know you always have yourself and you know that you are strong, that you can do whatever you like, make mistakes, make some incredibly stupid things, but you can will always depend on yourself.

Because you are The One.

The One dragging the rainy clouds over and calling the Sun back again.

And one more thing, use wisely the grieving period, try to concentrate on yourself, it is you that you are sorry for, not him/her and not your lost relationship.

Then, have a blast.

Embarrass yourself, be wild, dance on the tables if you like it, get a tattoo, whatever, just have fun. Treat yourself with beautiful and nice things, tribute yourself in every chance you have, because you are worth it.

And make your break up period a truly remembering experience.

Because you deserve it, 45.

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