I know many people.

And every time when I think that I have seen it all, something somehow still may surprise me. Like for example, I was always wondering why do the manufactures put those silly warning labels on their products…until I actually met that…hmmm…interesing individuals that are not an urban legend. They do exist and yes, they really need that warnings.

 

Like the one on deep-frozen food. You know, it says something like „After defrosting bake for 5 minutes“. Which is common reason for most of the people. I mean, you won`t just defrost it and eat it, it is still raw for crying out loud! That is, you would think so… Some – won`t. I met a creature that actually ate it like that and declared „…well…it wasn`t sooooo good like they say…it was somehow…sluggish..“. Of course it was sluggish, it was RAW!!! When I asked her didin`t she at least see the warning, she said „Why? Who reads that?!?“.

Then you have that incredible warning on the iron. There you may read: „Do not iron clothes on body“. I mean, WHO irons clothes on himself?!? Well someone does. I`ve seen it with my own eyes. And she is not affraid of getting her skin burned, or thinks that it is stupid. Au contraire, she says that it is a very practical move. Ha!

But the thing that really got me thinking is the Cesar Millan show. There you may see the dog whisperer restraining various best friends, curs, bitches and doggies. In the show, on almost every „action“ scene you may read „Do not try this at home without professional help“ or something like it. And? I wonder how many people have taken this advice?

You see, I like dogs very much, but I never trust them 100% (this one goes for the people too). I don`t because every living creature can be pretty agressive and irrational when it feels insecure. With people it is manifestated on various ways, but dogs – they bite. Hard.

And they have the proper equipment too (except in the situation of doggy geriatric case, caused mostly by the tones of eaten kibbles during the years, these dogs suck, literally). And now you have, after the seen show, many venturesome heads, totally fascinated (and infatuaded, if I may say) who think that this is easy-peasy. Ha, piece of cake! Is that all that I have to do? So this means that all I have to do, when I meet an agressive dog, is to crouch, look to the ground and  reach my hand towards the dog! Isn`t this great or what! Fantastic!Simply…

People like this do not even think on the probable epilogue, that is on „I-crouch-reach-my-hand-and-finish-without-it“. Or the „I-crouch-and-the-sweet-little-rottweiler-jumps-on-my-throat“. How adorable! Ha!

 

And for that reason, I am thinking about a new educational campaign called „Don`t be an idiot!“. The targeted individuals would be all that overconfident types for which the game of  cerebral marbles is just too damn hard. The slogans would be „No, you really can`t do it“, then „You are not brave, you`re an idiot“ and „Only for the ones with the valid health insurance“.  Only then some of the ambitious will maybe stop BEFORE providing traumas to it`s family and friends. Before the story ends with stitches or that horrible solution  of dog putting to sleep. For some idiot`s fault, of course.

 

So this is why, in the Cesar Millan fashion, I whisper: ….look into my arm……..feel my energy…..this is not for you…this is not for you……….you are not the dog whisperer, you are number 87 in the emergency room....

 

Because we (and dogs) deserve it, vol. 23.

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