Like first, I`ve got to reveal a crucial information that for some idiotic virus I am spending my days laying, coughing, sneezing and driveling. And, I`m bored. I`m so bored that I tried watching ALL the channels trying to find something which will hold my interest for more than 7 seconds but so far nothing good came out of it. The delight of daily television is consisted of soap-trash from all part of the world, so that the only soap opera I haven`t found is the one about impossible love between a lovely girl from Uzbekistan towards a Kazahstanian shepard. Oh joy…

Anyway, I read the new book and decided that I don`t have anything better to do than to „travel“ through the web. And there….Oh revelation! I found a lovely little article from the group „How to be irresistibly sexy and drive the men completly wild“. Superb. Have you tried it yet? You haven`t? Oooooooh now it`s the perfect time! Go to the mirrow and experience these guaranteed advices. Maestro, drums please!

So, they say that the secret is in body language which you can easily learn. Once you master these skills, you will become the flirting guru followed by a mass of horny studs. Ready? Let`s do it.

 

  1. First you have to lean your head a little. (that will give you the impression of curiosity)
  2. Then you have to open your mouth and leave it that way (that will, so they say, create a truely sensual effect, but don`t exaggerate or you will look like you have facial paralysis)
  3. After that concentrate on your eyes – blink slowly, but even then don`t open it widely but keep your eyes half-opened (ok, here you risk to cry your eyes out, like you are a part of some bad military experiment but….anything for beauty, right?)
  4. To complete the impression, throw out your right hip and your left foot place forward simuntaniously turning your knee towards the inside (here be careful not to crash down and kiss the floor, trying to perform a triple axel because you will lose at least 10 points for the lack of elegance)

 

Theeeeeeeeeeere….

And now look yourself in the mirrow. Fantastic! You look like a true retard! THIS will guarantee you to drive any guy… away, as far as possible.

I just can`t help thinking that they are trying to idiotize us on every step. Including our sexual area.

And really, who is following these things?!? Anyone?

That`s why I seriously reccomend to avoid these „beneficient“ advices. Be who you really are. To paraphrase good old Hemingway – the secret of a charming and sexy woman is in the simple fact that she thinks that she is pretty. Whatever that beauty meant to her. At least then she is relaxed enough that she can think about sex at all and not on somebody`s distorted ideas. And they are twisted and distorted.

 

You are sexy. When you wake up, when you walk, when you talk, when you breath. Period.

 

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