Let`s put it this way – you are single.

No husband, no kids, no serious relationships. Doesn`t matter why.

But what it does matter is: do you have your life?

Do you exist as a trashcan or as a full package individual?

Definition of the Trashcan:

– family and friends are calling you frequently but mostly, not for pleasantly spent time, but because they need something. Which means that your free time is consisted of running around for them and helping the „needy“. And they often need something. Because they have obligations and problems. Oh really?

You, who are single by definition, in their eyes, have so much time, you don`t have some serious shit going on, that`s why you are not so tired like they are, and therefore you have to be available.

The result? Your social life is on moribund. But the „needy“ are your close ones, so you can`t refuse them. And for all that „I am here for you“ attitude you feel important and needed.

Definition of the Full package individual:

– full package individual exists for itself. Which means that it`s life is fulfilled with personal obligations and passions, family gatherings and consultations are done at maximum twice a month, which applies for that needy friends too, the ones that are calling not just to help and support them, but because they feel lucky and satisfied to share their best with it. The time of Full package individual is it`s own, and it`s own only.

It is going out, it mingles, it has hobbies and it takes good care of itself.

Why the „Trash can“?

Because they are filling you with all their personal trash. Which makes them feel better. And that gives you the feeling of importance. And engaged into the Life.

All their messes, their shits, their joys, you are experiencing deeply emotional. Because this feels like the part of your life.

Well guess again.

THAT is not your life. Because, practically you don`t have one. You are vegetating, plugged to the life support. And to somebody else`s life support, not your own.

They have chosen the life that they are living, with all the obligations, problems, ups and downs, so let them take care of it. Let them manage it, swimm, dive or surf it. Because this, what they do to you, and what you permit to yourself, is not ok. It is just wrong.

Selfishness may have various faces and it`s not necessarily negative.

Because, face it, the things they want from you are very selfish. Even scornful. For now, your personal life is so less important that their`s. And with it, you as a person too.

So, what you should do?

Tell them to go to hell. Yes, they will be offended, possibbly angry, at first (remember . you are the one who teached them that this kind of behavior is OK) but with time – they will accept it. And you won`t be „parasiting“ on other`s lives no more. Because this is exactly what you have been doing.

Instead, turn to yourself. This is what it really matters. Instead of driving your aunts, someone else`s children, dogs, cats and grasshoppers, choose a drink or cup of coffee with somebody pleasent, a nice movie or just dance byself in your living room.

Then you won`t no longer ask yourself why are you feeling so miserable, why you feel exhausted and worn-out, and why are your sitting alone in front of TV when the night comes. And you won`t banging your head with the question „why I am feeling so down when everyone tells me that I am sooooo lucky?“. You won`t feel unsatisfied, nervuos and frustrated. But fulfilled, calm and alive.

So, here is a short message: get a life.

Your own.

Because you deserve it.

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