When we are small, making new friends comes as easy as breathing. We see the other kid playing and without any thinking we run towards it. And this is it – we have a new friend.

As the years pass by, they teach us what is decent, acceptable, desirable and what isn`t. With all that informations, and corrections, in our head we continue dashing through life.

Now let`s take a very common example: you are a woman in the best years of your life. You are not a small brat anymore and hell, you are miles away from becoming a biddy!  With great passion, you will claim to anyone that you just love people, going out and general mingling. But, you are lonely, very lonely. Most of your friends are married with children or in some other serious relationships with plenty of „time-eaters“. That`s why you`re nagging and whining how you don`t have anyone to go out with and your daily social coffee cups have become very, very rare.

So you are sighing.

It is sooooo hard.

To be alone like this. And you can`t stop yoursef „moaning“ to so called friends how they are neglecting you. For their important everyday „obligations“. Every now and then you shed a tear.

Poor little me. Sniff.

Nobody loves me. Sniff, sniff.

I am so…so..nice and I am all alone. Sniff, sniff, sniff.

IS THERE ANY LOVING IN THIS ROOM????? Booooohooohoooaaaaaa!!! Tears are dropping, saturating those cold, hostile walls of solitude.

Bollocks.

We have few very strong enemies and they are self-pity and laziness. That`s right. And don`t even try to use the „…but I`m not like that! I just…“. Yeah right…Cut the crap. Every now and then, all of us have been playing that role. And then we blamed everyone else. `Cause we are soooo great and the others can`t see it. Aha. Think again.

OK, people are connecting, bounding and linking. And after some time, they do things which are taking them in some other direction from yours. For that reason, they often leave from your mutual world, some physically and some emotionally. Which leaves you… Playing the martyr. Alone…miserable…left by everyone…with nobody around…

Well move your lazy butt! Look again. There are literally tons of good, high quality people with who you can mingle and become friends. But they need some effort too, you should offer a part of you. For crying out loud, even if you are the shyest creature in the galaxy, now in our time, we have like a zillion social networks – bless the internet, where you can meet so many people to blow your mind.

But company and familiarzing alludes interaction, giving-taking, listening, effort, thinking…a that present a Greek drama, does it? It is too hard probably.

Nothing has changed. You can still approach the other child, offer it a ball or a doll asking: „Wanna play with me?“. Because everyone has it`s favorite toy, material one, intelectual or emotional, which he/she can share with another person.

The main advantage is that you don`t have to yell like crazy under someone`s window asking: „Mrs.Jones, can Linda come out and play?“.

So take your best, your worst, all that makes you special as you are, and share it. Your future friends are tapping in expectation.

Advertisements