It`s cold. So cold that your nipples look like you`re just headed to some porn editorial. Which reminds me on a story from last summer…

I have boobies.

They are not huge but I do have them. Two, to be more precise. They are round and each has a small brown nipple. I take care of them the best I can: I wear a bra worried about future gravitational issues, put moisturizing cream on, massagge them from time to time….And I love them. To me, they are very beautiful.

Every now and then, me and my boobs are going to the beach. We usually pick one which is at least few miles away from the „regular“ beaches, somewhere where we can enjoy in silence and solitude without too much noise and hussle. And there we feel fine. We are absorbing sunshine in our pores, swimming, churning…. Just fantastic!

So one day, me and my boobs, went to our usual source of marine blessings. We came, took  the clothes of, and accomodated. Aaaaaah, gorgeous! And we did enjoy, for an hour or so. Then, all of the sudden, I heard some noise. Oh, some people are coming! Two young families, to be precised. Lovely. So much for the peace, quiet and relaxation, but then again we have all support the birthrate boost. I decided to endure the screaming and crying and running and splashing. And everything was alright until one of the young mothers, I emphasise YOUNG not some old nun, haven`t noticed my boobs. Her young husband have also noticed them but his look was expressing curiosity and amusement while hers was full of hate and personal animosity sending the messagge „Really, from all the places in the world, you had to strip HERE you bitch!?!?“. (I must add that I live in Europe, where topless is usually a very common thing, God bless)

The young mother then started to throw children`s toys, swear and curse, something about „boobs on the loose“. And I do bealive, according to her behavior, that she was the only who heard the message transmitted for my boobs, who were probably chanting something like „la la la, we`re out and there`s nothing you can do!“.

I was confused: why such hate, maybe the young mother doesn`t have one? But no, I saw them, they are far more bigger then mine! Trapped in cloth, but they are both beautiful, healthy and romp. Hm… You see, I have other parts of the body: head, neck, legs, arms…But they don`t seem to provoke anyone. Then I remembered – she must think that boobs are made strictly for one thing and that is lactation. And for that reason, you must keep them in pitch black, where nobody can see them. Every now and then, you may set them free for your legally bonded partner but otherwise, they don`t exist.

Fuck it! Where are we?!? Are we living in Iran, Turkey maybe?!? This is western culture, as far as I remember! What would your mother say about showing your tits in public? That it is a great sin? So must be the sex too, sex is yacky, you do it every now and then just to prevent your husband not to fly in somebody else`s arms. And boobs. These are dark secrets, and dark is the only place where they should be kept.

Well, this is my body which I love and respect very much. The same body that is given to me by my parents and maybe some higher power. And no, I feel no shame for it. And I never will. Next time do yourself a favour and go somewhere where people are sunbathing in raincoats. Just to be on the safe side. Made for all the uber-moral nuns.

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