Long, long time ago, long before our time, the courtship rules were very clear. For example, the ladies had dance cards on which the interested male representatives could write down their names with which they would express their unambiguous interest for a certain female soul. And they had no dilemma.

Now, the situation is far more perplexed. Say that you like a certain male individual for some time now. You`re looking at him and he, sometimes, looks at you. After few eons, you actually interchange few words. And there you decide that he is not just hot, but also funny. Like a true and proper gal, you already start to project flashes of your pink and peachy future: two of you taking a walk in the sunset, with bumblebees buzzing around you, happy sparrows above you, and you… you are laughing happiliy… he brings you flowers and you kiss him in return with tears in your eyes, then you lick the strawberry icecream together…then you buy a condom with banana flavour…then he licks you only… You know, idyll.

And than one day….beep…beep…beep…WAKE UP CALL!

From a friend of yours you hear this words:

You know…I don`t think that he is…hm…right for you...“ – says him peskily

How do you mean?“ – you ask vexedly

Well…. I think he`s gay….“

And… the music stops. With all those butterflies and bees dropping to the floor and the birds flying away.

What?!? How do you mean gay? No, no, no, gay is not ok! How can he be gay?!?!?

And then the friend starts talking, how in all those years that he knows him, nobody actually ever saw him with a girl. Which is really strange because the guy is incredibly hot… Right, he is well educated, and funny, and sympathetic but somehow just too subtile. On all your and others flirting in the past few years, he always responded kindly but distanced… Hm…Right, this is it, he is gay! How you couldn`t see that???

Damn!…And you give up.

You can`t fight the nature forces, can you!

But then, few months after it, one day walking down the street you bump into him. And gues what is he holding in his hand? Not a bag, not a dog but a woman`s hand with a belonging body (and a pretty one too). Ha! You didn`t see that one coming, didn`t you? Sooooo, Mister I-would-do-you-and-maybe-your-brother-too is not gay after all! And again, ha! Son of the…

What the hell happened? Hooooooow you could made a mistake like THAT?

There are only 2 solutions:

– or the guy has too much integrity and he just wouldn`t be with anyone,  unless he really really likes her, which sounds somehow fantastic, because it blows down the theory that a guy will score, even with his eyes closed, just because he can

– or he`s got a particular sense for beauty and sex appeal (for example, I know a guy who thinks that Olympia Snow is pretty hot. He is into her and you can`t do a thing about it)

So, what do you do? How can you really tell if you really have something, if you really click or not? And how in the name of God you may know if he plays for your team?!?

The answer is… feel it. No really, you should feel it. When two individuals of the opposite sex meet – there is always a certain tension in the air. Don`t ignore it. This is how you can tell.

(I remember a cousin of my ex, a tough guy, heavy metal fan, all pierced up, with about 1000 tatoos on him. When I said to my ex that he is gay, he just laughed about it… but then, after few years, the heavy metal wrecker exposed his Cher side to the world. Everyone were shocked. But I know when we met, that there was nothing, the air between us was… tepid. He didn`t emit anything)

So, the messagge is – listen to yourself. Always. Ignore the learned and listen your heart.

Or you may just say- spit it out, Nancy! Yes or no?!?