The phone rings. With a cry for help. (literally, I`ve picked it up and heard „aaaaaaaaaaa“). A couple I know, friends of mine, demanded to meet because, I quote“they can`t take it anymore“. Well, when you put it that way….

They are together for, what, 4 months now. Total love, they say. Inseparable from day one, they sleep together, go shopping together, eat together, scream together…

And that is the problem.

They fight. Oh my God they really do! And the fights are brutal, sometimes they take all night. As they are both insecure, when the first one bites, the other one returns with heavy artillery. Not even thinking about it. After all this time, it have become a habbit, a reflex move for both of them.

One of the things on which they are proud is that they talked, reported and recounted everything to each other. Whole emotional and sexual past. With all the juicy details…hm. Bad move.

The actual problem is:

-she have declared that her ex, with whom she spent several years, is still in her heart, as a good friend and a nice person, that they call each other from time to time, and blah blah blah…. Ooooooooooooh woman! You… you…. you….did what?!? You can`t say that to HIM!!! What is wrong with you?!? First you tell him, illustrate him with all the technical details, what have you been doing, where, how long, how often and then you spice it with a „he is still in my heart“!?!?!

Who wants to hear that??? He is already dazed and doubtful! So what He actually heard was: „we remained close after all that time after the break up, because he is sooooooooo fantastic and if you make a mistake, if you even slip, I will pick up the phone and return in his arms (and bed)„. Ha!

And why, WHY, are you telling each other everything? What`s that twisted urge of exibitional massacre? That`s official and classical torture!

I don`t want to carry around pictures of my boyfriend with all his ex-s! No details, please.

Give me the basics – we-were-together-and-now-we`re not. Why the hell would I need all the details?!? I don`t wanna know how much fun did you have, how was the sex, how you did it, where you did it, where you`ve been, on which places, which excursions, how she cooked, what she cooked, your funny stories, your romantic tales, how much did you loved her and she….

I don`t ask for it and I don`t want to hear it either. That is cruel. Why would anyone fill me with this informations? Or why would I do it to somebody else? It is a bygone, a past tense and that is a good condition. For us.

We are here now, you and I, and let`s try to do and give the best that we can. Here, now. I don`t want 300 ghosts which will hunt us. I don`t want orgies with all our ex-s, I want just us. We are interesting and loving enough.

When you are pushing them between us, you are not close to me. You are fencing, enclosuring and protecting yourself with them. Be here with me. Let it go.

There, I said it. To them too. To Boo Fighters – the ones that are fighting with scarrying the loved ones away. Don`t be one of them `cause the failure is guaranteed.

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