Somewhere, behind the 7 seas, there`s a guy, tall, blond (ah, with the colour of golden honey which pastes to the soul….),  very fit with the proper 6 pack instead of a beer sack (standad male package), an artistic soul (he claims ardently)…

So one day he meets a female entity, she blinks and sighs, and he stares into distance worryingly, probably for the spiritual state and the level of evolution of all the creatures from his yokel birthplace to Andromeda.

So he grabs her hand and takes her, with a promise of a stormy summer dusk on his lips. But alas!

A cardinal element of the story: scenography

The rest of the apartment was ok, if we ignore his impressionist reach sparsed all over the flat but… then they got to the bedroom. Yeah. Well…

The bed was located in the middle of a semicircular gap in the room, which wouldn`t be strange if there wasn`t one detail: on some 20 cm from the bed were narrow mirrors attached to the wall. Which wasn`t there presenting the hommage to 80s  but as a architectonic detail of  a very important role.


He stripped and started with a performance: observe my biceps, then look at my triceps, then of course the quadriceps, watch the line on my back when I stand like this… and so for 15 minutes. God all mighty!

The female entitiy lays on the bed and waits.


And then he jumped. I shit you not. And nailed it. Flying.And started to plough.

Style: pneumatic drill.

Clasification of the fucker: banger (forwards the porn on full-action-hero part, memorizes the rythm-bang bang, proudly uses it in real life, the rest of the porn ignores- the pose, the girl, the place….

Sound background:

She sighs, moans (giving her best). But he is the star of the evening. The script is written just for him. And then he started to shine.

He: „I fuck you like a champ!“

She: „Oh!“

He: „You`re feeling so goooooooood!“

She: „Ah!“

He: „I am fantastic!“

She: „Mmm…“

He: „Nobody fucked you like this before!“

She: „Oooooh!“

He: „I am so hot!“

She: „Ha?“

Then she opens her eyes and looks at him. But he, he is not looking at her but in those mirrows above the bed, right above her head! He is looking at himself! His face and expressions. Not their action but his „lovely“ eyes. And cheers!

There the entity started to grab his attention. Like „helloooooooooooo, I am here, anyone?“. But nothiiiiiiiiiiiing. The guy is so self absorbed that he even doesn`t notice her.

And he proceeded with „I fuck you so good, nobody fucked you so good before, blah blah…..“. And like this for 2 fucking hours! No pauses, no slowing down, changing the rythm, or at least some silence for crying loud! Without this eulogies and odes to himself.

Post coitus:

He cums, gets up, goes to the big mirrow and stars to buckle in front of it and to marvel to his biceps for next 15 minutes. Without even looking at her.

 Now that is a classical idiot!